Monalisa, Happy Wife of a Gay Man
Not all who write to me are readers carrying crosses, problems, and issues. This one in particular, a woman who calls herself Monalisa, is a happy reader, a happy writer, who testifies how happy she is that her husband is a gay man. Read on.
dear migs,
i’ve been longing to send you this mail but time really does not permit me to do so until now.
i hope you can withhold my identity as well as my husband’s … he comes from a well off family in leyte and he’s gay — but not the open type — the best term could be CLOSET GAY.
we’ve been married for six years already. i knew in the very first place that he’s gay coz he happens to be my boss. i worked in his company when i was 21 years of age and he’s 29. when i first saw him… it was a jaw dropping reaction.. he looks like robin da rosa plus the gym toned body. it’s just a small company and everyone noticed his secret identity due to the number of good looking guys that would frequently visit him. i saw thrice an actor went into his office after working hours. but still i was still convinced that he’s handsome and hot!!!
our relationship started when his model boyfriend broke up with him. ako lang ang mag isa sa office at that time when he’s into his emotional problem. he invited me for some dinner and late night party just for the purpose of having someone to talk to. he shared his problem, told me that he’s tired of his life of being a closet gay/discreet and always the one who is left behind. he wanted to have a partner that’s for a lifetime…in my craziness i offered myself to become his wife; though it’s just a joke but kinagat niya! ako naman sa sobrang lasing din ay parang naulol sa kaguwapuhan ng bakla and that was it - he’s the man who took my virginity while i’m the first woman who embraced and kissed his gorgeous body.
he proposed marriage na di ko tinanggihan - but everyone in my family opposed. mag aasawa lang daw ako sa bakla pa. so what? if ever he will commit adultery at least sa lalaki di sa kapwa ko babae at least walang sabit! but the real truth is i love him and i want him. on his side… not so sure if he has the same feeling but at least he did such thing to attain what he wanted - an eternal partner and a family that will not leave him. everyone around us totally opposed to our relationship, i was disowned by my family and him also by his circle of friends and family for marrying a hooker daw.
but for the six years that we’re together and being blessed with four children - i have no complaints about him as a husband - a good provider, responsible father and most of all very understanding -and i realized that it’s all because he’s gay. he wants to prove that despite of his being gay, he can be a foundation of the family and he knows the feeling of a woman when she get hurts, if she suffers and if she needs someone to lean on coz he has the same feeling also - and he does not want such fate to happen to me.
now i’m 27 and he’s 35 but still we enjoy each other’s company. we always look forward of seeing each other at the end of the day. i must be thankful of his being gay automatic his being vain also coz he’s took care of his body and lead me to do the same thing also. that might be the very reason why i can’t sleep when he’s not in my side and without having him as my human blanket.
and i should say that gays are better than real men……
monalisa
Possibly Related Entries:
- On being an honorable gay man
- The secret “a-thousand-a-night” life
- Is there a Happy Ever After for us?
- Happy Ending
- Afraid of Being Old and Lonely
- Would you live with your lover’s wife?
- Happy 100th Day To Me!
- In Pursuit of Happiness
June 29th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
i really hope that my girlfriend would think the same way as the author.
April 8th, 2008 at 11:16 pm
“i should say that gays are better than real men……” Ibig sabihin ni Monalisa mabuti nakapag asawa sya kahit gay responsable at maalaga naman sa pamilya, kesa nag asawa sya ng maton at lalaking lalaki pero ginagawa naman syang punching bag at wala pang trabaho kundi babae ang magbubuhay sa pamilya. Ang masasabi ko lang Monalisa, pag minahal mo na ang isang tao, kahit ano pa sya, dadating ang time na ikaw na lang ang tititigan nya sa buong araw at sasabihin sayo ng buong giliw “I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH”. Napakalaking bagay sa mag asawa ang understanding, Acceptance, care, minsan pag wala pang love nadedevelope yon, lahat ng bagay napag uusapan, maliit man o malaki. Sa mga napag daanan kong sitwasyon katulad nina fratboyinthecloset at jmarc_blueboy, masasabi kong tama ang naging desisyon ko. Mas masaya ako ngayon at kumpleto, and soon, few months na lang daddy na rin ako. Sobrang love ko ang wife ko (my GF for 10 yrs) at wala akong pinagsisisihan although nandon pa rin yong guilty feelings dahil naging unfaithful ako sa kanya noon.
Kaunting pang unawa pa at haba ng pasensya Monalisa, pasasaan bat magiging 100% iyong iyo husband mo kung may doubt man ang iba dito and I pray for that. Email address ko dvoice1225@yahoo.com kung may gusto kang itanong o e share pa. Mabuhay ka at sana dumami pa mga tulad mo. God Bless Your Family.
March 20th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
@jmarc_blueboy…..the fact that you like guyz makes you gay but you like girls as well that makes you straight but awful…lol u don’t know what you want, are you the so-called bisexual? but ur not fair, u want to hook up with two genders, does it mean ur a winner? ur confused coz u don’t know what u really like, it will be unfair if u gonna have two relations from both sexes, so straighten urself up and ask who and where i am happy with…that will gonna answer all ur questions…..take care
March 15th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
OMG!!what a beautiful story!!I admit that I’m a gay and everyone thinks that I am but I’m not into that “lad-lad” thing.It disgusts me. I’m gay but I never had a personal relationship with a guy,instead, to a girl I already had 4 ex-gf’s. I love them but I don’t know why. I love guys more but how can I fall in love with a girl???am I really a gay or straight???….haaaaahh..i’m tired
March 13th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Just go for it Monalisa, be the happy wife to a husband who’s trying to change his real personality by being a family man and a big credit for him for doing this in which very few gays like me want to gamble with this kind of situations nevertheless, that gays will be gays and there will come a time that he will go back to the old habits of being in the closet and i wish you strength to forgive and courage to move on inspite of this and continue life with him and your kids till the two of you grows old…..:-)God bless
February 29th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
ganda ni ate
February 28th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Migs,
How can I be a subscriber to blog if you call this blog. Can I get your contact number, both landline and cellphone, please. I want to know you more and be a close acquaintance to you. Thanks.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
I love this story. Thanks for sharing.
February 27th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Astig!!
February 27th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
hmmm may something ito. if she sent this mail to be posted and read by readers of this blog i think it is significant to mention how she found out about this blog in the first place.
on a different note, sa palagay ko gay men are real men. and kung sa pagiging responsible, sincere at kung ano pang eklavu sa palagay ko ang difference ng straight guy sa gay ay breeding at hindi sexual orientation.
February 27th, 2008 at 8:42 am
@keyman: Di naman po sa kinukwestyon ko ang sitwasyon nila. Just trying to get some questions bogging my head cleared out, more of trying to learn and be inspired from their experience.
Wag po mangaway. Binasa ko na lahat, and my question was not more of knowing the truth of her husband’s gay life while married, but more of what she feels towards it. Kahit tanggap na nya, I’d still think na minsan nasasaktan parin sya. Un lang nmn po.
February 27th, 2008 at 1:45 am
wonderful!
February 27th, 2008 at 1:10 am
marami akong kilalang bading na nag asawa ng oppsite sex, yung ex ko nga 2 anak..actuaally lahat ng naka relasyon ko puro mga married
February 27th, 2008 at 12:43 am
Well, true or not, it’s a fairly interesting arrangement and one that might appeal to some of the sawi gays. But I have to agree with Andrian’s comment, it seems to show that a lifetime relationship between two men is sadly far from the norm. But hey, heterosexual relationships are catching up with us! The divorce rate in America is more than 50%!
February 26th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
i still want to believe that the story of monalisa is true…i still want to believe that she smiles without a tinge of pain inside…pero sana totoo talga…magulo talaga ang pag-ibig…magulo lalo ang umibig.
February 26th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
i agree wd u keyman!one thing is for sure in this life, na ginawa ng Diyos na ang lalake ay para sa babae at ang babae ay para sa lalake.it just so sad that we gays cant accept that fact.nothing more nothing less!
February 26th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
mga kontrabida!!
hayaan niyo na si monalisa! obvious naman na may smile pa sa mukha niya dahil sa saya na naidulot ng bading sa kanya..
kung di man kayo maniwala na totoo to…diyos ko sino bg loka2x n mga aaksaya ng oras na magpadala ng knyg karanasan dito…
eh kung sumisiping pa rin ng lalaki yung asawa nya…bshin niyo nga ulit yung sulat …tanggao na nga niya eh!!!! analyzed nyo rin!!! satisified s knya si bading kAsi nka apat na anak sila!
TAYLOR AT FRATBOYSINTHECLOSET - wag nyo ng kwestiyonin ang sitwasyong ito..dapat masaya tayo dahil nakikita natin kung ano ang kakayahan n puedeng gawin ng mga gays…
OBVIOUSLY HINDI KAYO MASAYA SA PAGIGING BUHAY BAKLA NIYO!!!
February 26th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Still wondering why monalisa had a very mysterious smile? Oh Leonardo ever so nurturing and gay! Bless art thou!
February 26th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
mga bakla nag-oopose,
wag ng mag-emote mga ate..
if ur questioning the credibility of the letter, ask migs na lang..
tapos, i do believe na sexual preference is temporary.. kung bading ka, meaning ba nun bading ka na forever!!!???
i guess, we ignore the emaning of change..
(SIRA ang Pledge of Loyalty ko mga kapatid!!lol)
let’s just be happy and gay for the couple y’all!!!
February 26th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
grabe. cnt believe ok lang sayo na bading sya. and hey, for kids?!?! congrats.
February 26th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
i think it is HONESTY and COMMITMENT that make a relationship lasting.
February 26th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
totoo ba ito? at in 6 years naka-apat na anak ang bading, taray!
February 26th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Interesting. I found it strange that she said gay men are better than “real men” as if gay men weren’t “real men” to begin with. I personally don’t think my being gay makes me any less of a a “real man” than a hetereosexual male. I still have a penis, I still wear men’s clothing and I still consider myself very much a man. Sexuality doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with gender.
That said, I found the letter to be a bit disturbing. I agree with Andrian’s comment — although this is a story of a lifetime partnership, it is sad thinking that gay men struggle to find long lasting same sex partners. The toughest part is envisioning a life where you’re alone.
February 26th, 2008 at 10:19 am
this is sooo baloney. everytime i read a letter from a reader or a mom, it is always the same style of writing…really, who are you joking??
February 26th, 2008 at 10:10 am
*sobs* Ok darn. So is this a friggin sign that I should go back to the other side?
*insert twilight soundtrack* nuni nuni nuni nuni
And I have to second Adrian’s comment: this is a refreshing ray of light from all those dark stories about gay gone straight stories or at least gay gone married. But also a realisation of the dark corner of being gay, that lifetime relationships are still found within straight marriages. A bleak one for Adam’s to love another Adam and not an Eve.
For me, this is extra difficult as I am one of those closeted ones who have recently came into terms with ones sexuality but has not had courage to leave the life once led (the straght one). Thus, I have a bf, who knows that I still have a gf. And its becoming difficult by the minute. And towards the horizon, I see that I have to choose… soon, before closets unravel and major damages done.
To monalisa, I have this question: Does your monalisa smile have a hidden pain? Don’t you, not even for once, think that your husband might be sleeping with another man. Is he loyal but never faithful? Do you smile always, pray do tell monalisa?
—-FBITC
February 26th, 2008 at 8:30 am
winner!
February 26th, 2008 at 2:49 am
It might first seem like your typical fag hag scenario gone chained to marriage (Oh, Grace…), But come to think of it — I find this story quite remarkable. It is a positive standout from the heartaches & usual doldrums that comes in our gay lives. I admire the lady on whom wrote this, she made that leap and has been understanding enough to see both sides of how gay life & her marriage works. Imagine her sense of extreme patience & understanding even if her hubby may enjoy a period of same-sex rendezvous….Others may see this as a marriage of convenience, but I agree it is still a lifetime of partnership — and how compromisingly good can it be considering the circumstances. Kudos to both of them as a couple.
The only thing that may seem a bit sad is that — it may prove again a point that gay men would never find a long lasting same sex partner for life…… I have long dread that thought since i after breaking from my partner of 4 years, am still hanging on to Hope that somehow someday, the guy that is meant for me is just around the corner, waiting for our paths to crossed…. And reading & witnessing gay relationships crumble upon another, Is there still hope out there that gay relationship could be a life-lasting partnership?…