If you feel attracted to members of the same sex, or both sexes, but need to feel like you have accepted it within yourself, here is a guide to help you. You have found out your sexual orientation, and you are perfectly normal. Accepting who you are - and being proud of who you are - is the next step on the road to coming out of the closet, and eventually to having a successful gay or lesbian relationship. Some people have difficulty in accepting their sexual orientation, either because of personal or societal discomfort or pressure. Most people in the LGBT community know from experience that accepting your sexuality will lead to your becoming a happier, more open person.
In this guide, the term gay has been used to include all forms of homosexuality and bisexuality, whether that be people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or pansexual.
STEPS
1. Know If You’re Gay
Know if you are Gay. Sometimes people question their sexuality. There are many degrees of sexual orientation, and if you find you don’t fit easily into one category, perhaps you are bisexual. Don’t allow yourself to be labelled until, or unless, you are ready and willing to be. If you feel that you don’t fit, or you can’t understand why you aren’t like other people in your life because you are different, remember that you are you, and not anyone else; and that being yourself and accepting yourself for the person that you are is something to be immensely proud of.
2. You Didn’t Choose To Be Attracted To Members of the Same Sex
Remember that you didn’t choose to be attracted to members of the same sex, and that attempts to change your orientation are usually painful and pointless in the end. When talking with heterosexual friends or family members, it’s sometimes tough to help them understand this, because they have no frame of reference for your experience. Try to encourage others to see your sexual orientation in the same way as they see your eye colour - it is something you were born with and did not choose. It is something that is simply a part of your being, and not something you can change. There isn’t any need to - being gay is just another way of being, and there is nothing wrong with it at all, neither is there anything wrong with you for being gay.
Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice. If this is true for you, especially if you feel attracted to both genders, you might want to evaluate your choices. Leading a gay lifestyle can be a challenging choice in many societies throughout the globe. If you feel that you made a choice, you should feel comfortable with that choice. Everyone has their own battles and choices to make, and the norms of societies may not necessarily be normal for you. If you do feel that you want to make the choice to accept your sexuality, it would be best to find friends and loved ones to support you, but do not feel - or let yourself be - pressured into believing that you should “change your ways”. If anyone tries to force an opinion on you that you do not agree with, such that your desires themselves are unnatural, sinful or symptoms of a mental disorder, look elsewhere for support. There is no evidence that “helping homosexuals to become heterosexual” is possible, and treatments to “change” sexual orientation that were common in the 1960s and 1970s were very damaging to those patients who underwent them and affected no change in their sexual orientation.
3. Develop and Express Your Individuality
Develop and express your individuality - if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, whatever it may be, then be proud of it - you are the one and only you. Understand that a person who is gay is no different from any other person. Like everyone else, gay people have dreams and goals, and want companionship and love just like anyone else you know. Strive every day to be the best person you can be, and remind yourself of the positive qualities and attributes that make you uniquely who you are.
4. For people to accept you, first you must accept yourself
Tell yourself that for people to accept you, first you must accept yourself. If you can’t accept your sexual orientation and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin, then other people find it harder to accept you fully. It’s your right to love; no one has the right to tell you otherwise. Tell yourself: “I am a person with feelings and intellect and a life, just like everyone else. I am unique and individual, and no one has the right to choose my life for me. The fact that I am gay is just another facet of who I am, just as being creative, or optimistic, or having brown eyes is. I may not be like many of my friends, but I choose to live my life authentically and happily. It’s my life, and I choose to be happy”.
Remember that you are not alone. There are many, many gay people in all sorts of communities, and there are many people there for you when you need support. There may be agencies, groups, advisers, family members and friends that you can turn to, even if it is just someone to inform of your feelings. Find a group or a hangout where you feel comfortable, and where there will be other gay people to talk with. Make some new friends, and by doing so, you will establish a new network of supportive and encouraging people around yourself.
5. Show People Who You Are
Show people who you are. Coming out of the closet is the boldest step in accepting your sexual orientation, but now that you are able to live “out”, it does not mean that you have to change who you are or what you like. Don’t go trying to change yourself or wishing that you were like the other people in your life to cater to the comfort levels of others - there are over 6,500 million of us, and you can’t please everyone - and those who care about you will still love you for who you are. If someone can’t accept the one small facet of who you are that is your sexuality, and can’t still respect you for the person that you are, then they aren’t worth your time or letting it bother you, because its not your fault that that person can’t accept it.
[Source: WikiHow]
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This thing has 18 Comments
Hmmm. Informational. Helpful. Humorous in a way. Thanks for sharing, Migs. =)
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Cguro marami na naman bagong baklang abogado! Sosyalerang attorneys!
http://accountingtopbestschool.blogspot.com/2008/03/2007-bar-exam-results.html
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inspiring article. coming out is one of the best decisions i made in my life.
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just reading…
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“Some people in the world believe that your sexual orientation is a choice.”
i do not believe it is a choice. but i do believe that we can choose how we ACT on our orientation.
just as someone who has brown eyes may decide that he wants to wear blue contact lenses, so too gay men can decide whether they will be effeminate, straight-acting, monogamous, promiscuous, etc.
but these decisions should be made consciously, instead of just allowing things to happen (and later blaming “them”), because in the end we are responsible for our own lives, no one else.
happy easter!
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Wenx. I got tired of reading. Sorry.
Migs, I got the point now. I know the magic behind your blog now.
When I first stumbled upon your blog in 2006, hahaha, i was bewildered by your sizzling posts. Lols.
Well, hell yeah, you’re such a genius. Aside from your well chosen blog posts, concept, and class, you’ve got this very nice Blog Layout.
Man, everytime I view a blogpost here in MMG, I get to see beautiful pics by the side. How is that? So instead of getting bored, I’d just view other posts. Hahahah!
Well then, that’s all. Just sharing. Oh yeah.
Hey, why don’t you feature Bryanboy too?
I mean, SHE’s a fab. Lols.
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i just hope that the 5th one will not be misinterpreted as a license to become arrogant, disrespectful and insensitive…
peace!
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hey Migz! can i repost this? i promise to say it’s from you…
http://www.mckhoii.com
^_^
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Migs,
Ang lalim naman nyan! Di ko madig! Hahaha!
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ei Migs… i’v posted this already.if you dont approve it just give me a hit and i’ll erase it asap. thanks much! luvyah!
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well for me i dont have any problems with regards to my sexual orientation because all the people arround me knows who i am. I THANK YOU
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yeah.. the life of a closeted person.. hirap… i like this article. i can relate to it very much… the big step of coming out. shucks di ko pa kaya. damn.
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While the article can sure make a lot of people feel good about themselves…whoever wrote this should filter what’s fact from opinion.
Sexuality should not be compared to eye colour. Androgyny may be inborn but sexual attraction is a totally different thread. The strongest theory is that sexual attraction is a complex of various things. People should not mistake their happy thoughts for science.
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Hi. Migz, I must say that you have gained my respect with all the articles you have posting here every now and then. I am well travelled person being an international tourist guide, I have seen so many gay communites around the world, sobrang dami talaga around the world. I am currently in an Atlantis cruise as a staff but coming out has a lot of things to consider. There are gays na masaya na sa pagiging discreet gaya ko. To consider, di lang lagi ang sarili ang isipin kundi ang mga taong nasa paligid lalo na loveones kung pedeng silang maapektuhan sa pagiging :”out” mo. Mabuhay ka Migz.Ernest.
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This is informational as well as helpful.
I am still closeted but I know my sexual orientation now. At first, I considered myself as bisexual. But thinking about it, I didn’t have sexual attraction to the opposite sex just admiration. So that makes me gay, a homosexual in a pure sense.
The coming out process is still a painful part for me especially to my family. However, some of my friends know my orientation. But they can’t figure me out unless they ask or I tell them about it.
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At this point in my life, i can now say that I’m gay because i know what i want and need but i can’t accept other people telling me that i am gay. Weird? basta yun ang feeling ko, parang gusto kung makipag sapakan pag may naririnig akong ganyan… Cguro d pa talaga total yung acceptance ko sa sarili ko…
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i know im lesbian, pero ayoko na sinasabihan na lesbian, nagagalit ako, cguro dahil di ko pa ma accept. pero may gf ako 4 years na kami, pag magkasama kami prang close friend lang, at wala akong balak asawahin sya kasi ayoko na ako makatuloyan nya, pra kcng wala syang magandang bukas pag ako maging asawa nya, pro mahal ko sya lam ko ganun din sya sakin. mas maganda sguro na maging best friend nalang nya ko 4ever pag mag asawa na sya ng tunay na lalaki.. agree ba kayo guys? for her own good..
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Sino po yung guy?? Reply naman please!
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