Hello,Migs.Pa-promote lang ng aking site.

http://madilimnakasaysayan.blogspot.com/

First time to post.

I think its in the inner feminine in all of us to seek security in a man. Secure meaning the kind of man who is the tall, dark and handsome (buff most of the time) type, who can take care of us like how biological females look for those traits in man. Bottom line is that those guys who are/play butch exude those kinds of traits, that is why more are attracted to them than the effems.

Security may also be an issue. Mas hindi halata, mas ok kasi pwedeng itago ng matagal.

I think it’s just practical, natural, and common sense that a gay man would primarily be attracted to gay men who are masculine. But that’s not to say that femme guys are doomed. Not at all! It’s possible to be attracted to them since there’s a lot of other things guys consider/are attracted to when finding mates:
-
masculinity
attractiveness
physique
intelligence
personality
material wealth
commitment
spirituality
talent (charing!)
-
So, it’s really just a matter of coming across men who do not/learned or grown not to put masculinity on the top of their list. The trouble is, these gems take a little extra effort to find

l’ve resigned to the fact that i will live my life alone just because i’m effeminate. i don’t want to butch myself just to snag a guy. it’s like going against my principles.

that is BS… you have to admit.. we are all superficial.. or at the end of the day it’s the dick size that counts..

early morning in my office desk…

im back!well i guess thats just the way it is…

early morning in my office desk…

haaay me too, im not hoping for a partner na kagaya ko, kaya kaht magbayad pako basta masaya ako, keri lang, hahaha

That all depends on your cup of tea. I for one am not turned on by effems or drag queens. It’s because most of us look for that masculinity and maybe deep down inside we all want a straight man.

Kalokah kayo! Mga baklita! Kung anu- ano akasi ang binibigyang kahulugan ninyo, kayo lalong gumugulo ang buhay nyo! Paeklat at kung anu-ano pa. May mga baklita na masyadong naka sentro a ng buhay sa sarili na ang feeling eh sila lang ang importanteng nilalang sa mundo.

Kalokah talaga! Dyosme, ang blog na ito, dati pinupuntahan ko para sa mga larawan ng lalaki, ngayon bakit parang mas marami na ang dramang kabaklaan dito.

Migs, pakiusap, alam kong gusto mong tumulong sa mga kapus-palad na mga baklita sa mundo, pero sana naman mabawasan ang mga kadramahan.

Parang ang nagiging imahe ng bakla sa maynila eh mga baklitang sobrang madadrama.

Sa palagay ko lang. Kalokah talaga mga bakla! Babush!

I think that is just another generalization. I have a lot of effeminate friends who are attached and a lot of butch friends who aren’t. It doesn’t matter really.

I feel, sometimes when I talk to my effeminate friends who are single, they use this reason all too readily. Even though sometimes I feel that there are other reasons besides their “pa-girl”. I even feel that sometimes they become defensive and raise walls immediately with the people they like, not giving them a chance.

For me, the reason may be quite simple why we think effiminate gays don’t get as much as their butch counterparts: Presentability.

Let’s admit it. Love is physical in the first place. You won’t approach or open up to someone who’s not pleasing to the eye, will you?

When you are out on the street, when you wake up together, when you go shopping or dine out, wouldn’t you want to see something nice, presentable and even adorable. To gay men who wants nothing but beauty, you want to see something you visually like. Not to say that effiminate gay men are not visually appealing, it’s just that gay men tend to respond more to a straight male stimulus more than an effeminate stimulus.

I say presentability because to be genuinely honest, there’s a certain bragging right when you are out on the street and people say you’re such a cute couple. Or you are proud to tell the world that he is your man. But more important,you know that at the end of it all, you will keep your privacy and the secrecy of your choices (for those who are not out or have a certain image to keep) because you are discreet.

It’s like a social contract- don’t wear something that can draw attention to it, especially if that’s not your objective.

off topic: Migs feature mo naman si Geoff Eigenmann. I heard he stripped off for a fashion show.

it’s a currency.. yup! but not necesarilly a strong currency.

our preference for the butch i think stemmed from our patriarchal society, and this preference has been reinforced din ng media. the effem has almost always been the object of ridicule.

but i think times are changing na, the younger (and sometimes more idealistic) generation are now more open to being in relationship with the effem (again, thanks to [western] media).

the effem isn’t doomed. mas konti lang siguro ang market, but may market pa rin nonetheless. europe! hehe.

“Kalokah kayo! Mga baklita! Kung anu- ano akasi ang binibigyang kahulugan ninyo, kayo lalong gumugulo ang buhay nyo! Paeklat at kung anu-ano pa.

Kalokah talaga! Dyosme, ang blog na ito, dati pinupuntahan ko para sa mga larawan ng lalaki, ngayon bakit parang mas marami na ang dramang kabaklaan dito.”

Heto ang isang magandang example kung bakit bilang isang masculine, mas pinipili ko makisama sa mga katulad ko.

Problema kasi, may mga effems ang puro ingay lang ang dala. Alam mo yung latang walang laman na pinapalo ng tinidor, ganun. Sa mga masculines or butch kasi, tumatahimik lang yung mga walang masasabi talaga. Alam mo na, nature ng lalaki tumahimik kapag wala namang opinion sa isang bagay. Siguro nature ng mga effems na gawing katuwa-tuwa o kababawan ang buhay kahit gaano ito kaseryoso - which I think is to their advantage. Sila ang mukhang masaya palagi eh.

Pero minsan kasi naghahanap tayo ng taong tunay na makakaintindi ng sitwasyon natin - lalo na kung ikaw ay isang straight-acting na naiipit sa iyong nadiskubreng enjoyment sa same sex preference. Aminin man natin o hindi, ang hirap pa rin tanggapin na isa kang bakla sa mata ng lahat. Sa todo deny natin ng ating existence, pati sa pamimili ng papakisamahan, gusto natin discreet; yung hindi maingay at walang bahid ng kabaklaan.

Naroon rin yung tinatawag nating “ideal factor” Kung ating mapapansin, halos lahat ay naghahanap ng “no effems or chubs pls” sa chatrooms o kaya sa g4m. Ito ay sa kadahilanang ang hinahanap natin ay yung ideal natin - astig, lalaking-lalaki, cute, muscular, mayaman, matalino. Kahit ako ay guilty dito noong nasa ganoong raket pa ako.

Sa totoo, hindi ko sure kung ito ba ay produkto ng ating pagiging superficial na mga nilalang, o dahil may bahagi sa atin ang naghahanap ng ating tinalikurang masculinity. Weird man, pero sa tingin ko, marami sa atin ang nakikita ang sarili na pusong mamon - tanggapin man natin ito o hindi. Ang iba, niyakap na nila ang katotohanang sila’y ganito sa isip, salita at gawa. Sila ang mga effems na tinatawag natin. Ang iba naman ay pilit nilalabanan ito. Sila yung nakikita mong kung maglakad eh parang sanggano, o kaya naman todo buhat ng mga plates sa gym, o kaya naman ay pilit ginagaya lahat ng pakulo ng mga straight na lalaki na makikita nila sa media. Sila ang mga masculines.

Minsan sa struggle na nangyayari, naiiwan ng mga butch ang effems upang ipreserve ang kanilang naiiwang masculinity. Wala tayong magagawa dito, hindi madaling matanggal ang stigma eh.

And I do not see the city being flamboyant. Maybe it’s because I see it bigger than being gay or straight; effeminate or butch. Tingin ko, kung hindi Diva-divahan ang papairalin natin sa ating mga utak; kung hindi tayo magbubulag-bulagan at magprepretend na isang malaking “Sex in the City” o kaya naman ay “gossip girls,” o kaya ay “Miss Universe” ang buhay natin at sa halip ay magkaroon tayo ng STRAIGHT focus sa mga urgent issues na hindi lang sakop ang kabaklaan natin, kundi ang buong sangkatauhan, then I think the issue of effeminates being left out will not emerge.

Personally, mataas ang tingin ko sa mga Tranny at Parlorista na social welfare ng iba ang pinagiinteresan at hindi ang kanilang existence at lugar sa mundo. Bilib ako sa mga binabae na although lalaki ang pantasya, pero kaya nilang icontrol ito sa pamamagitan ng pagsisilbi sa iba. Too bad, I still don’t see our generation going into that direction.

I personally can’t bring myself to act super butch. Because when i do, mukha ako’ng tomboy.

But kidding aside, i personally think that all gay men are predisposed to liking the more masculine of our kind. That’s what makes us gay in the first place - our sexual attraction towards the same sex. If we wanted someone effiminate, then why not go for a real woman right? So i guess we will always be initially atracted to our butch counterparts. HOWEVER, i think when you get to know the person better and discover their personalities and quirks(and we all have a feminine characteristic or trait we can’t hide for too long, even the most masculine of us, believe you me)eventually, it will no longer matter. Especially pag wagas na pag-ibig na ang usapan.

It’s more on personality than physical attributes…Mas maraming lalake sa mundong ibabaw na mas bet ang funny, witty and full of sense of humor na gay kesa sa pamintang durong na pilt na nagkukubli sa klosetang puro kalansay.Wagi pa rin tayo ineng…Ang paminta ay para sa peppermint lang, di ako desperado…Mga hypocrite!

Mightymikee

Tanong ko lang po, ano ang hypocrite sa pagiging butch?

Nawa’y hindi sana produkto ng iyong pagiging bitter ang statement mo sa taas.

well… I agree… I am a living-breathing example… it sucks sometimes seeing a butch gay guy having sweet cuddling moments with another of the same origin…. but now I gained maturity (I guess? or bitterness) that I accepted the fact that its next to impossible to find my “Prince”, I’m hoping but not expecting because I am happy and satisfied with my life, family and friends… (sweet lemoning! grr..)

I feel for you BlueBaby98. I’m also an effem that dreams of having a partner. Too bad were not “that” marketable.

a lot of pamintas at the same time think twice if by being effeminate would allow guys know that they are gay hehe parang hinde alam ni guy na bading ako pero kung alam niya kaya e papatulan niya ako wahhhe