hey migs… nice conversation you got. nakakarelate ako. i’ve came out sa guy friend ko that i’m a bisexual. and nagturn out okay naman kami. in fact, mas naging close kami.

un nga lang, i’m still a discreet bisexual.

(ako una nagcomment)

I sure bet this is a pretty enlightening podcast for your readers and for the guys involved in it as well. I do agree with what Rod said in his last note that if the friendship is based on sexual attraction then he’d start questioning the strength on which that friendship is built upon. I believe what he was trying to drive at was the definition of a friendship that is based on brotherhood and that noble sense of kinship amongst men of different creeds.

Many gay men have to go through life alone while trying to define themselves. It is a process many amongst us must go through, wrought with tears, pain and many times derision. Many young gay men wish that along the way he’d have a companion to understand him, and be there for him as he goes through this life process. Proof of this is the burgeoning profiles in many gay sites where many of them would be looking for a “friend”.

(Here’s an interesting note. If one is to make a survey of the kind of “friend” many of these young people are looking for, a big majority of them aren’t looking for a mirror image of themselves. They would generally form an image of a big strong brother type who can guide them along the way. Mostly, of the straight “KUYA” type of a friend.)

But what really is friendship? What defines that kind of relationship between two individuals with totally opposite characters, belief systems and, in our case as gay men, to establish a bond between another individual who is on the other side of the railroad track? What can make one, putting all sentimentalities aside for this question, put down his own self -defenses just so to give himself in service for the other with no expectation of rewards nor a sense of sexual nobility in the act?

My response: Brotherhood. A sense of kinship. Methinks that’s the highest form of friendship amongst men. It doesn’t recognize colors. It is blind to wealth. It is beyond sexual preferences.

Allow me for illustrating my own kind of relationship with my best friend.

My younger brother is my best friend. I share his secrets, he shares mine. We lived a life together as siblings, fought each other, reveled in each others triumphs and consoled the other in his time of grief. I may never have the sons that he has, but they are of my blood. The way he loves and protects them will be the same thing that I can give my nephews when needs be.

My best friend knows that his older brother is gay, well, ever since he found out what it means. I remember the first time he mentioned that word, I believe he was round 4, he just lost his milk teeth and had a lisp. He mentioned the word “bakla” with a “V” adding to the inanity of the word. Now that we are adults, we just laugh at those times we were kids when I’d smack him for calling me that.

He has also met the wonderful guy I am dating. Just a few months ago. And it felt good. The funny thing was, and it made me very proud, when he told my boyfriend “You take care of him.” Those few words meant the world to me. It was leaden with trust and affection from a person I truly love and have the highest respect for.

No two people can be more different than my brother and I, but in many ways we think alike. I remember one time when we were sitting in a café, a beautiful woman with an equally drop dead gorgeous male companion passed by. We were both oggling at the couple. My brother quipped, “Tol, tutal malaki ka naman. I-wrestling mo yung lalaki. Sa iyo na yun, akin yung chicks.” I readily agreed and we laughed our heads off.

A lot of other things in our childhood memories that we shared that we always go back to that would always leave us in stitches. I am lucky to have had a best friend in life like that – someone who is TOTALLY different than I, someone whose life paths are treaded through differently than mine and someone whose beliefs are different. Regardless of these differences, they actually made my life richer and more bearable when I had to go through its lower points. Simply because there is someone who can give me a different view of life and helps me in seeing a bigger picture.

Our bond as brothers is there. Our bond as friends is there. Through the more than three decades of life, he’s been my best friend. I am truly lucky.

A silly note: My brother has this strong gaydar. For a straight guy, he can actually detect a gay man even with the most straightest of posturings, while i constantly get duped by straight-acting gay men. I sometimes even find difficulty in determining a transvestite from the real thing! He doesn’t.

I guess that’s what he gets for having a straight-laced gay brother. A high;y developed queer detector.

palma tayona, a gaydar can be deceiving. I believe that you can only assure that a guy is gay in bed.

… or if you pinch his buttocks and he squeals. hehehe

Basta alam ko, nung nag-out ako sa mga straight kong tropa eh kinailangan kong higit na mas magkilos straight sa harap nila.

this didn’t become an issue to me since my guy friends knew that i was gay even before we became friends. siguro it would be interesting to know what makes friendship among gay and straight guys click, and what does the straight men actually feel about the gay one.

hi. sino yung 2 guys na macho na nagstrip dance sa pinoy dream academy? type ko sila.

thanks for giving an mp3 download!

May I also add, friendship should be unconditional. Good production editing.

hello Migs

I just listened to your fab/podcast and I congratulate you and your fabcasters for this wonderful and enlightening discussions.

I wish you will be able to post more of such kind - cool!!!

as long as there is no vested interest I think everything will turn out perfectly right.Sexuality is not the issue here.It’s the kind of friendship that you have. TRUE FRIENDSHIP embracess MUTUAL RESPECT and ACCEPTANCE (not merely tolerance) regardless of skin color,appearance,sexuality nor social status.

galing naman ni rod!

my best friend is straight din… hehehe. we had a falling out after a friend of mine asked me, “did you fall for him?” i said no. i never did… hehehe. or so i think…

hello guys. I just listened to the podcast and it was informative. I’m straight and this podcast thing has been recommended to me by my guy friend who is a reader of this blog (and the one who opened his sexual pref a year ago). Since he opened his sexuality to me and our close friends, he insisted us to check out this post coz he said that “naka-relate sya talaga…parang kagaya daw nung time na nag open sya samin”.

I do agree with Rod because its also my perspective on the situation. I do also have some gay friends, and they’re no different with us…only the sexual preference. They’re extremely smart and very diverse thinkers because for me, they do have both-sex experience, i mean they also know what a real woman’s behavior…so we can ask then about girls’ feelings and behaviors since they hang out with girls (saka pwede rin silang bridge sa mga girls..hehe). I do learn a lot from them in many different aspects.

When my college friend told us about his sexuality, we’re not quite that surprised..”minsan n rin kse napagusapn ng grupo ung tungkol sa hinala nila sa kanya kso wla silang strong proof” but I’m glad that he opened to me coz that led us to a better relationship as good friends and made me feel that i’m a trustworthy person. “Napakasarap kse nung pakiramdam pinagkakatiwalaan ka ng isang tao”

I made this response hoping that he might read this… thanks for the trust ‘ron.

Thank You and Best of luck to this blog.