we shuld not have discrimination within our own circle, homosexuals shuld stand as one for us to be stronger, stop bashing and hating each other…if u cant say anything nice just keep it to urself…

Some “tea time” to ponder. However it’ll probably take a long time before that situation improves. Primarily, it’s just ignorance that causes this. While acceptance and tolerance is the hardest step to take, I think we can all start with just a little “respect”.

It’s the Filipino’s way of thinking, not just with homosexuality. We put each other down, criticize and make fun of other people. I guess this is to make us feel better with ourselves. I really like how you think Migs. This is bothering me as well.

I dont know man…except drinking too much tea…rejuvenates me, good for the spirit and good for the body! It’s like my daily diet regimen. Good for the skin, flawless. Try it, highly recommended!

We should extend that thought a little further and not just look at the discrimination between the closeted and the out gay men, but to encompass the whole LGBT community. Why can’t politics, religion or society take us seriously? Because we do not have a united front.

Our greatest gift is our greatest curse as a community. Diversity. It takes a really open mind to accept that much diversity and sadly most people don’t have that much open-mindedness.

Yes. I strongly agree. We should look out for one another. Like in Paolo Ballesteros’ case. We all know that he is, but he has his reasons not to tell the whole world at the top of his voice right? That’s his selling point as an artista.
Brian Gorell’s blog is notorious of this. It’s like he has a loaded gun and he’s shooting everyone in sight. he’s taking everyone down with him. Which isn’t fair for those who never did anything wrong to him.

I strongly agree even if this is an advertisement for “Kozui, a wonderful cozy place to hang-out along Morato in Quezon City”

cheers!

wah…thats why i dont drink green tea…hehehe…

kidding aside, it really is too bad in our society that these things happen. all of us should at least understand each other, no brands or anything can ever change the fact that all of us are the same. i think one big reason why this happens is because deep down inside any PLU (regarding any type)that bash other people, there are a lot of what if’s on their mind and picking on their opposites or whatever makes them feel better among their choice in life, just a thought from me….

I still believe that the basic thing to do in our lives is the GOLDEN RULE. (Do to others what you want others do to you). It summarizes everything ; respect, care, understanding and love. At the end of the day and at the end of our lives, can we say truthfully and honestly that we are GOOD PERSONS. BTW, Miggs, I like your reflections.

i beg to disagree; there is a huge, huge difference. to say that there is no difference between the closet gays and the out gays is insulting to those out gays who are fighting for change. closet gays, especially in conservative Pinas, risk nothing. it is so easy to be Pollyanna if you don’t risk anything. the out gays risk everything. they risk their employment, relationship with families, church, friends, neighbors and society in general. some even risk losing there lives. to not recognize the difference is to not know how every struggle in any society was won. the rights of women were not won by them staying home and accept the notion that they were mere properties of their husbands. their rights to vote and work in all kinds of disciplines only happened because they went out of their homes and fought for them. it is the same thing with the African Americans. Rosa Parks refused to sit at the back of the bus, and i hope most here know the rest of the story and their struggles. most importantly, the same kind of struggle was fought by the out gays in North America and Europe. in terms of rights and acceptance Pinas is decades behind. most gays in Pinas believe that there is a large population of gays in the country yet nothing much has changed for gays in the Philippines. why is that? many here complain about abuses, disrespect and the lack of right for gays, yet most do nothing about them. how can there be a united front for gays when most are hiding in the closet? (even though you are a smart, decent, hard working and a model citizen) how can you change attitudes and perceptions (of the rest of the citizenry) if they don’t know your true persona? how can you serve to be an example for the good? yes it is true; gays don’t need to be out to get laid these days, but is sex the only thing that defines gays in Pinas? what about freedom. what about peace of mind. what about the joy and pride of being with the person you love and not be afraid of being found out. these are just some of the many reasons why there is a huge difference between the closet gays and the out gays. i agree, coming out is an individual choice, but please, please don’t say it is the same for both.

“1. kapantay ng karapatan mong lumafang at juminom e ang karapatan mong mang-okray.”

- I read this line a few years ago in Wanda Ilusyonada’s blog. Judging from how others react on the things you post here, there is a grain of truth to what Wanda had written.

I remember before, I told my colleague how every gay is deep down insecure. The more out and flamboyant you are, the chances of you being uncomfortable with yourself is very high. Admit it or not, we tend to look up to the closeted ones because they embody the masculinity that we cherish. Too bad for us, we don’t admit it so we instead bash these closets by telling them all sorts of things.

So long as the out-gays will continue to bash their closeted counterparts, the closeted ones will continue to look down on the out ones, and discrimination, as we know it will persist.

How profound naman the comments. chos!

tea is great for reflection! =)

i am part of a delegation. my fellow delegates know that i am gay, and they respected and loved me for that as compared to my roommate who everybody suspects as a closeted one.

then there’s this incident, some foreigners approached my fellow delegates and asked them if there is someone gay among our group. kasi daw somebody from our group is harassing their male friend. may nagpupumilit makipag SOP daw kasi ng madaling araw! -basta na-trace na kagroup namin, though di pa alam sino.

I was really hurt when my friends suspected me, though i learned it thru our team leader ivestigating the issue.

they thought na i was the only one capable daw of doing the “act”.

in conclusion, everybody was surpirsed when they traced the number to my not-so-straight after all roommate.

*point is, we take the brunt for the double standard as compared to our play-safe brothers.

No, we should not look down upon those who, for one reason or another, chose to stay in the closet.

But the fundamental difference between the closeted and the out ones is courage.

That virtue alone put those who choose to be out way ahead, IMHO, in terms of giving my respect and admiration.

dear migs,
talking about talking to closetted or out gays, I just had an interesting conversation with a taxi driver. His friends are gay, I told him I had a few gay friends.
Why is it hard for gay men to be friends or at least friendly to other gay men? Out or other wise?

tarot, while i agree most with what you said, i think that the ‘fundamental difference’ mgg is talking about is in a different context from what you are trying to say. Anyway, about your views, I disagree on you one point. It seems that you are implicating the closeted gays for the demise of the out ones. Closeted gays are not required to come out, just so to support your advocacy for “change”. Stand up for your own and if what comes out of your fight is the failure to have society respect you, do not implicate or blame the closeted gays. They do not exist for your or for any out’s sake. Choice nila yun. And it’s still choice if they opt to come out to support your advocacy.

joms, very well said. =) In addition, I really think that the root of this bashing is insecurity on both sides i.e. the closeted gays don’t want to be associated with out ones so they try to prove their being ‘masculine’ by bashing out ones and the out ones feel that they are not respected by the society so they do everything to pressure the closeted gays to come out, even at the expense of these closeted gays, just so that the out ones can prove that what they have or what they are is not an illness or disease in society. (This is esp. true with the case of celebrities… it’s fulfilling for the out ones that a person of higher status can be the same as they are, hence telling the society, “eh si ___ nga e bading!, so hindi lang ako ang ganyan”)

@tarot - Perfect point. There is no reason for me to be in the closet but i admit i lack courage. I hope i can come out soon before i grow old and alone. I have good relationships with family and friends but they are based on lies since they don’t really know me. My life is based on pretentions and it is sad and lonely.

migs out ka ba?

I am out and have stayed masculine and yes I get ridiculed sometimes by the softer set.

Live and let live. Have compassion for the closeted. They have their reasons. Its not you who will be paying the consequences of them coming out so hold judgement and just be there to support.

Being out and about declaring to the world, sans the maxi dress, that you’re gay, in my opinion, doesn’t make you a better faggot Tarot.

I’m really not for cross dressing. Its an eyesore. Leave the make up to the girls. Or go all the way and get a sex change. It doesn’t look nice for both gays and lesbians.

Guys discriminating against effems .. hmm .. Some do only because they haven’t really accepted themselves as faggots completely yet. So again have compassion for the bigot. Not all masculine gay guys discriminate. The same way that not all masculine gay guys are acting straight to conceal anything. This is just how they act and its not play acting.

Balanced fags, closeted or otherwise, won’t descriminate, that is if they’re pretty ok with who they are.

I would love to give my two cents worth of opinions on Podcast Migs. I hope you get me on air. Hahahaha

tarot: bravo! finally, somebody who actually makes sense and NOT some wishy-washy dribble…. beautifully argued… thank you for the clarity of your arguments and the candor with which you presented the facts.

this is my favorite place to just chill when i’m in quezon city!

hmmm…

Walang gamot sa insecure?

all in all parang yan yung sakit ng lahat…

Migs out ka ba? or do i really have to ask?