Migs,
I want to give my reaction to your podcast entitled Homosexuality and Religion. I am a person struggling with same-sex attraction (SSA) but I don’t consider myself gay in the sense that I’m not into the gay lifestyle now. I may have been before but that was a totally different story. And oh yes I still struggle with chastity issues right now and that’s how real it can get.
I just want to reiterate that the Catholic Church does not condemn me or you for being “gay”. In fact, the Catholic Church has an apostolate catering to people with SSA and it is called Courage. You can visit www.couragerc.net for more details. And yes I am a member of that organization.
Our group is a support group and we help each other live a chaste life. We don’t claim that sooner or later we will all become heterosexuals, etc. Nothing of that sort. Instead, we are responding to God’s call to live a life of chastity and that means for many of us turning away from the gay lifestyle and confronting our deepest issues as courageously as we can be.
Honestly that is the most difficult part for us - renouncing our sinful ways and letting the Lord take control. It’s hard and it’s real. It’s not easy but it is possible Migs.
I must admit too that some priests and religious are not well aware of our condition and we’re doing something to educate them and all people concerned regarding the nature of homosexuality. During the podcast I realized that many had this perception that the Church is persecuting gay people and the result is either they break away from the Catholic Church or just become nominal Catholics. This is a sad reality.
I hope you can give space for this brief e-mail of mine in your popular blog. Although I can see that you’re very much into the gay lifestyle now, I on my part would like to know your personal views about dealing with ex-gay ministries like ours. Maybe you may want to take a look on the “other side” and let’s see what happens next. I hope to get your side and your readers as well regarding this issue. Thank you.
God loves us all,
GS - or “Going Straight”
Through email, I asked my fellow Fabcasters their short and sweet reactions to the above email. Here are their replies:
“I’d rather hop-skip-and-jump”
So this is an organization of gays who want to remain in the Church and therefore will toe the Church’s chastity and celibacy line. (Good god, nosebleed and pimples galore!) Seriously, it’s one way to go about it. It’s an option, a route that a gay individual can choose to take. So good luck to those who take it; may their lives be meaningful to them. As for me, if that’s the road less traveled then I’d rather hop-skip-and-jump along the yellow brick road in my shiny, shimmering splendid shoes. [McVie]
“At Hinimay Ni Bakla (Ako-Dot-Com)”
I am having difficulty reconciling his statements. So I will ask some questions based on his email:
1) For GS, is same-sex attraction different from homosexuality?
2) What exactly is a gay “lifestyle” (if there really is such a thing)?
3)His email address and name states “Going Straight” but he does not consider himself gay. So what is he exactly and how does this reconcile with “we don’t claim that sooner or later we will all become heterosexuals”?
4) So if the Catholic Church is not condemning anyone for being gay (from 2358 of the official Catechism of the Catholic Church, this is stated about homosexuals: “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.”), why are they condemning “homosexual acts” as in the case of that bishop who said that homosexuality should be blamed for the Cebu Canister Scandal victim’s issue? Same goes with the lesbians (Leah Vader and her partner) in the United States who were sent a letter by their parish priest telling them that they are not allowed communion anymore?
5) Is it just me or does his statement, “Although I can see that you’re very much into the gay lifestyle now “sound too judgmental?
Also, he mentioned that during the podcast many broke away from the Church as a result of persecution of being gay. May I reiterate that the reason why I, and many others out there, broke away from this church (and religion in general) not because of this perceived persecution but because of issues with principles and morality being forced and hammered onto us. [AJ Matela]
Whatevurrr
I will just echo what we have been saying all along. Whatever makes you happy. If going celibate brings you the inner peace that you are looking for then by all means go ahead and go for it (just don’t get all preachy to me and give me the same token of respect and respect my option not to go a similar path). [Tony Lobster]
Gibbs Cadiz Says…
…
…
…[Gibbs Cadiz]“
Migs Replies
Dear Going Straight,
I can feel your sincerity in struggling against, renouncing what you call “our sinful ways” and letting God take control. I am impressed with your strength of will and I can only wish you the best in the process. And as long as your choices and struggles help make you a better, greater person — someone who cares more, loves more, gives more, contributes more, and at the end of the day, still smiles more — I will give you my utmost and well-deserved respect.
Migs
* * *
How about you dear readers, what can you say about “Going Straight’s” letter — feel free to discuss, share your thoughts here.
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This thing has 41 Comments
goodluck kay GS. sya lang di kasama sa party sa impyerno. nandun lahat. hehee joke!
ipapagpray ko sya para di na sya confused… pakisabi na rin sa Papa nila, di ko na kaya magsimba, how can I talk to God in a house of Praise where they condemn Homosexuals.
that’s why im thinking of going to a denomination. I am just as serious about my faith as GS is serious about his. The difference is, I see homosexuality as a gift from God himself.
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quoting ted from QAF.. “He created you in His image
and since God is love ,and God doesnt make mistakes,
you must be exactly the way He wants you to be.
the way He intended you to be
and that goes for every person..
every planet every mountain…
every grain of sand
every salt..
every tear.
and every faggot..
we are all his “
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I pray.
I hear and attend mass.
I do not take communion…
Simplify because I cannot take My God in my mouth where I take another man’s penis.
Its a blasphemy.
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A spokesman says that telling a homosexual to repent is “like telling a person to change the color of his skin.”
The prophet Jeremiah would agree that it is sometimes impossible for people to change their conduct - but for a different reason. It’s not that they cannot change; it’s because they do not want to change (Jer. 13:23-25).
If you are enslaved to sinful practices or destructive habits, you can be delivered. Admit your sinfulness and helplessness to God. Accept His offer of complete forgiveness. Rely on the Holoy Spirit, who can enable you to resist temptation (1 Cor. 6:10;10-13).
God can transform your heart and enable you to change, making possible what seems impossible.
The Savior is waiting to help you, and cleanse every sin-stain away.
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Acronym! SSA - same-sex attraction. That’s cute. “I have SSA.”
-
Honestly, I think it would be impossible for a gay man to turn off SSA. Even if you devote your entire life to social service, there will still be those moments that you will find some guy irresistibly cute or handsome. I bet even straight priests have not managed to turn off their attraction to women despite their celibacy. It’s just nature.
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One word.
Goodluck.
Sa mga pinapakita ng Church sa mga tulad natin, sino bang hindi titiwalag?
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ay migs ang bonggah ng comment mo kay mr. going straigt, wagi talaga at pang Ms. World ang dating! And i’m sure you’ll bring home not only the bacon but the hotdog as well!
i love your talents and im a fan of yours! keep up the good work! looking forward to more of your great entries!
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I’ve got one word for him: hypocrite.
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whatever makes u genuinely happy…yung lang naman
sa bisaya, kung saan ka masaya teng suportaan taka
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watched that episode of QAF kyokushin mentioned.
this is so lame.
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I suppose, we are what we are. That’s how we were born. Its not a disease or something that u learn or can unlearn. Just move on, be good & dont step on others & you’ll be ok in His eyes. Dont you think so ??
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Cool. Come by and hypnotize yourself if you please
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The very last time i went to church for confession - i told the priest (sta. Cruz Church, circa 1998) im experiencing “SSA”.
Biglang nag-iba yung tono nung pari. Parang it was a business meeting and he just told me - masama yan. Pinagpray nya pa ko ng ama namin at aba ginoong maria.
Kakalokah. I love the architecture and ambiance of that church but i never came back there since then. I dont consider myself katoliko anymore too.
Kung meron palang ganyang samahan ang catholic church, why dont they educate their priests sa pinas about it. Para next time na may magconfess about their kabadingan looking for guidance, eh hindi nya mafeel na mas lost sya more than ever. If your church cant provide you with peace of mind, then what will?
Sana lang may peace of mind din itong si GS. Good luck sa kanya talaga! Baka naman kasi yugn sinasabi nyang community is not really officially sanctioned by the catholic church.
Sasabihin nila, direct to hell tayong mga bading - I will not agree to that. Yung totoong hell for me, is living a life and feeling discontented while hiding.
Para sa akin lang, nothing wrong with being gay. Period. World peace!
Panalo ka nga Migs, pahingi rin ng bacon at HOT-DOG.
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What a hypocrite. Dont browse cute guys then if youre going straight. its like saying you dont want drugs but you look everyday for shabu cocaine and rugby but not use them. just look. Anu ba yan. SAka catholicism is NOT bible based. Pakainin nga ng obispo ang sobrang daming anak ayaw nyo pa pa communionin ang mga congressman na mag aaprove ng reproductive health bill. ang Hihipokrito nyo mga salot kayo. Saka ang dami minolestiya ng mga pari. Nasa bible ba na bawala pakasal. life of chastity. pwe. parang sinabi na rin nilang tao ka pero ikaila mo na tao ka kasi kasalanan yun. ano ka alien?? god made us this way and he didnt make a mistake. I love God its just religion and self righteousness that I hate. Open your eyes and pray that God will tell you who he wants you to be.
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hello migs d ko maopen and meninthephilippines.blogspot.com pls help me tnx
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“…ex-gay ministries like ours.”
to me, this says it all. the church may not be “persecuting” us, but we need to turn our backs on being gay to be fully embraced by the church.
exactly how do i “turn off” the switch that makes me attracted to other men? and i’m not even talking about having sex with them. and no, i don’t need “help” because what i have is not a disease. it’s who i am.
–”james,” guest podcaster
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When will the time come that Gay will be part of the SEX category. like there will be three boxes male, female, gay. When will the day come that being gay is no longer such a big deal and you can already introduce yourself like “hi I’m art and this is my boyfriend angelo” as if you’re saying “hi I just went to the restroom or something”. It just seems totally unfair that we accept girls for them being girls and boys for them being boys. when will the world including the kind of people who sees homosexuality as some kind of a punishment, desease or something that could lead to eternal damnation, stop being judgmental and open their eyes that most of the beautiful things that they see around are created by one of our kinds, I dont know if this makes sense, but i dont think being gay should even be defined.If you truly supports the gay community, then stop right there! just support.
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When will the catholic church realize that being gay isn’t only about who you’re sexually and physically attracted to. It’s also about who you’re spiritually and whole heartedly drawn to.
Being in love is a spiritual experience. For the church to preach about ‘chastity’ as they see it is tantamount for them to say that gays shouldn’t fall in love. That, for me, is the opposite of what true spirituality is about.
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tigilan…
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hellooooooo? not into gay lifestyle, eh potah mas babad ka pa sa akin dito sa manilagayguy eh…ipokrito talaga ang mga rehiliyoso!
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gs…just belongs to the bunch of hypocrites. we all know that any organized religion condemn homosexuality and time and again persecute those unfortunate souls.
my question, is it a sin to LOVE?
btw, i’m a proud gay man “legally married” to a loving and dear gay man.
i hope for “gs:going silly” to find what he is looking for. goodluck.
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Wow. Daming reactions! ^^_
Anyway, wag naman nitong i-condemn o parang pagalitan ba si GS. It’s his way of sharing kung pano rin natin makakamtan ung inner peace (well, for those of us na medyo may kaguluhan pa rin).
For me, I find nothing wrong in what he mentioned above. But that doesn’t mean na gagawin ko rin ung pinayo niya. Sa ngayon, I’m just happy being me. Basta, lahat ng ginagawa ko , hinahabilin ko sa Diyos ko. Btw, I’m not a religious person. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in God .
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Good day and peace to all. I belong to a Church organization and I don’t see anything wrong with homosexuality. What I see as wrong is what I see as wrong also in heterosexuals.I asm for a committed, faithful and enduring love between two individuals, whether they are men or man or woman or woman and woman. I do believe in love too, that’s why more than anything else, I wish men - couples to be together in love and a stable relationship. Let others see that we can also be capable of this kind of love. This is why I’m happy with the likes of Agent and Cupcake, Tiggah and Pooh etc. who remain faithful with each other. There is an advantage with being faithful. There is also a disadvantage with “testing the waters”. Saan hahantong yan? So my advise is, look for that one person who will not only be your sex-buddy but above all your soulmate and friend. Meron pa rin diyan. We can learn from the many stories here at MGG. And I don’t have to leave the Church for it has given me many valuable support and inspiration Generally, I have encountered many priests who do accept us as we are. They just cannot shout their approval for us but many of then accept us. Sino ba ang mga nagdedecorate ng simbahan? ng mga namamahala ng Church functions? ng mga nag-aalaga ng mga poon/santo, ng faithful sa pamamahala sa Church organizations? At the end, huwag nyo ng pansinin ang mga makikitid ang utak for it is only God who can judge us (everyone!) if we have been good in our life. So the last question actually to ask ourselves, “Am I a good person?” Wala ba akong sinasaktan na tao? This is actually the summation of the commandments of God. Maintain peace also - within and outside ourselves. Shalom again.
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this too shall pass. someday prospective parents will be able to screen the fetus for “gayness” and that will be the end of that. so this debate will be moot.
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hey.. iv been 3 years in my community a while ago its the Parish youth Ministry and they ddnt point out my sexuality, on the other side they treat as a real guy, but of corz deep inside of me im gay and my co-ministers knew it…its ok if u reveal ur self in a public coz as a return u’ll setting ur self to freedom of evrything and even anyone judges u…they judge also our creator…be true to urself and i guess evrybody loves u for who u r..ok..thnks also Going straigh for ur encouraging words..best regards migs and thank u again coz im not novice here anymore ..anytime as i want i can post here now my comments..thnks again and congrats 2 u blog..hugs and kisses ….efrain
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I believe that the Church was built not because of the (and would be) Saints. I believe that the Church was built for the Sinners.
I also believe that God is love and that He will take me regardless of what I have become because God’s love is immeasurable.
I also believe that I should trust God and that I would still pray for thanks, forgiveness and blessings inside and outside of His house because I know that He will be there, not the way that I want Him to be but by the way He sees fit. I will trust Him that whenever I fall, He will either reach out His hands for me or He will catch me.
I also believe that something or someone will lead me away from Him. That’s why I still pray, even with what might others say. Because I know that I should trust Him. That I would still pray. That I will feel His love in His ways.
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Kudos RIC!
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GS the main fact that you are in this website is a big indication that you are a hypocrite. You are lying to yourself and you are lying to us. Migs is right we should try to be the bigger person but I’m sorry what you’re saying really angers me. Be truthful to yourself and to others and you can finally gain inner peace and ultimately, world peace.
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well all this talk about them accepting us makes my blood boil. how about this:
they should be concerned on whether we accept them for who or what they are!
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Huh. Well, to each his own, I guess. I just hope GS is truly satisfied with his decision and that he’s not just using religion as a cover because he’s afraid of public scrutiny if people discovered his sexual orientation.
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Hypocricy. That’s what it is GS.
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My GOD! Catholicism was invented before human rights! Their stand on homosexuality has never changed. Or if you think about it, they’re slowly adapting to the changing world. They don’t bash homos anymore because it’s now considered unlawful. If it wasn’t they still will. And hello!!! Most priests are fags anyway. Ergo.
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dear gs,
who ever said that homosexuality is a sin must really hate you, n for you to believe it must mean that you hate yourself, as i read the post i could feel a lot of self-hatred. its sad…i admit that our “sinful lifestyle/ways”, as you put it, are not to the liking of others but i ask you, have we ever hurt anybody by being who we were ment to be? ans it n see if we really are that evil.
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First time post, ever.
GS’ comments mirror some official Church statements RE: sexual conduct, and in his defense, it applies to hetero couples as well. Of course, heteros get a free pass when they tie the knot, we don’t.
But how he went from preaching acceptance to ex-gay ministries though…it’s bull. No need to explain why.
Also, what exactly is this “gay lifestyle “anyway? Because if there’s one then I’m ‘prolly doing the whole gay thing wrong.
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being gay is normal. it exists in many animal species outside of humans.
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i just rememberd something a str8 guy frnd said. sabi nya na we gays myt be the next step in evolution, oh diba?! kulang nlang ay wings at pwede na akong tawaging butterfly, complete with rainbow colored wings! haha
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dear migs and the rest of the populace who read this blog,
way way way back (I love this story) the eunuchs were given blessings by God to have a name greater than sons and daughters.
If I remember correctly eunuchs were the men who gave up having sex (or just sex with women?) to be closer to God.
I don’t argue that being a homosexual would be automatically make you a candidate for eunuchood (if there is such a term), but that it would be better to maintain one’s vessel in purity, but if one were to burn ( not my words ha? am quoting scripture so please no lash backs muna from the backlush)it would be better to marry (inay ko another term I don’t think I can deal with).
So where does that lead us, those who have sex with other men, no women, who love God and the men they have sex with (teka plural na yung ka sex, I’m in big trouble na talaga)
Hay naku, all I know is that with the grace thing between God and man, I get to feel the love of God and share that with anyone.
I don’t condemn people who refuse to have sex with men, that’s a choice, but I don’t want to condemn the religious for teaching that either (teaching that its better to abstain), but I have already found my peace with God and most men as a gay man.
Isn’t that the most profound religious feeling ever?
If not the profound truth? that as people we can find God and still be taken as God’s people?
Ayun lang po.
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hello migs tenk u very much for the info. Send k naman sa email ko ng mgagandang msgs oh tink u uli.
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Thanks sa mga comments and I’ve read them all. Im not mad at those who don’t agree with my opinion. It’s okay. The main purpose lang ng letter ko is to let others know that there is a support group supported by the Catholic Church for those struggling with SSA (Courage - http://www.couragerc.net).
I just want to make it clear that by joining such org does not make you chaste automatically. It’s a process and a struggle for most people including me. Please also take note that our primary goal above anything else is chastity and not “reorientation”. We may still feel attracted to guys but we TRY not to ACT on it.
I hope I enlightened others about what Courage is all about. I respect your choices, hope you do the same for me.
Oh by the way, I’m a hypocrite. At least some of you have let me realized it.
And that’s where change begins - realizations.
God bless everyone.
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Hi Migs,
I would like to ask if you happen to know GoingStraight’s email address? I would like to ask him a couple of personal questions regarding his topic.
He may reach me at dude.lonesome@gmail.com
Thank you very much and more power to you ^^_ God bless.
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you know GS i understand you..
pipoL these days mahirap n clang pakiusapan lalo n kung kaligayahan nila ang pinaguusapan.. pero did anyone here ask themselves n s sobrang saya nila eh pagdating s point n wala ng paglagyan ang kasiyahan nila san n cla dadamputin?
pipoL of God wake up! hnd nmn totally condemned and hosexuality s church lam nyu kung anu ung ayaw ng simbahan ung gawain nyu.. makipag talik s kapwa lalaki.. un un eh! uu nandun n tau bading k attracted k s kapwa mo lalake.. and so what controll it! its a temptation from satan.. malinaw nmn ang nakasulat s bible eh.. hnd cnbi n bawal maging bading! ang bawal is makipagtalik k s kapwa mo lalaki o babae.. makiapd s asawa ng ibang aswa kaya nga sinira ng diyos ang bayan ng GOMORA dahil s prostitusyon, kabakalaan, at kung anu2 pang kasamaan..
come to think.. sa lahat ng nilikha ng diyos s mundong ito tayong tao lang ang pumapatol sa kpwa ntn lalaki.. o kapwa ntn babae.. mei nakita k bng aso s kalsada n kumkantot ng kapwa nya lalakeng aso? o kaya baboy s koron n nkkpag sex s kapwa babae? dba wala!!! kahit meron hermaphrodite n nilalang ayun acceptable cla dun kasi ganun cla nilikha ng diyos.. eh tau mga tao mei pinaka mataas n antas ng pagiisip s lahat ng nilalang tayo p ung parang mas mababa p s mga hayop kung umasta.. bading kng nilikha ng diyos pero hnd nya inutos o bngyn k ng CHOICE para maging imoral!
wag puro sarap!! lumingon k s likod mo at matuto k s mga nagawang mong mali, tignn mo kung nsn k para malaman mo kung anu k ngaun at tumingin k s paroroonan mo para magkaroon k ng direksyon.. walang masamang maniwala sa diyos.. kung hnd k nani2wala sa diyos at wala tlgang diyos pag namatay k edi swerte mo.. eh panu kung meron? pag tinanung k ni san pedro bkt k nakiapid s kapwa mo lalaki o kapwa mo babae n kung saan malinaw n pinagba2wal eto ng diyos? anu sa2guting mo.. buti p ang magna2kaw mei dhilan xa kung bakit xa nagnakaw.. walang clang makain.. buti p ang murderer pagtinanong bt k pumatay pinagtanggol ko lang sarili ko.. eh ang bading anu rason nyu? dahil gusto ko ng titi at ito ang tawag ng aking laman? wag nyung gawing katuwaan ang pagpunta s impyerno! tignan ntn kung makatwa k p at makapagsaya kung ikaw ay sinisilaban ng walang katapusan at nilalatigo ni satanas..
at wag nyung si2hin ang simbahan coz its not perfect.. kung hnd kayo tanggap edi humanap kau ng isang relihiyon n nani2wala sa mga salita ng diyos.. tutal nmn iisa lang ang diyos ntn eh..
does everyone still remember that gay.. he’s a filipino.. i forgot he’s name.. bata p kc ako nun nung napanood ko siya.. he’s a transgender.. he had a boyfrend.. he’s rich had a very high positioned in a company in europe.. lam nyu guys one day nagising xa! naisip nya n nakamit nya n lahat ng gusto nyang makamit naging babae n xa at yumaman at mei bf p xa.. naisip nya pagkatapos nito san nako pu2lutin? anu ng mangyyri skn? sa isang iglap naisip nya n mali pala ang direksyon n tinahak nya.. nagbago xa.. he resigned in the company, he broked up with his bf and he resectioned or reoperated his penis.. now active n xa s church.. pero hnd s catholic.. sa born again..
marami namang bading dyn n kht bading cla eh wala clang bf.. hdn p cla nkpagsex sa kapawa lalaki.. normal lang nmn ung maatract k eh.. kc un ung temptation! pag pumatol k dun s temptation un ang kasalanan.. mga anak ng diyos hnd p po huli ang lahat.. life is choice! yes it is.. but be sure ung pipiliin mo eh hnd lang s umpisa masaya.. kundi pang habang buhay.. take ur best shot ika nga nila…
dun s mga medyo n offened d2 s opinion ko sorry guys.. kung iba ang pana2w nyu.. so be it.. it shall be done..
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