Tuesday
IssuesContemporary Pederasty
“Good morning sir, ma’am! Good morning Sir!” shouted the fastfood guy, attempting to greet each and every one entering the restaurant. It was Sunday and the crowd was thick and, not unlike the crew, noisy.
I was at one of the busier McDonald’s branches in Quezon City, with friends waiting for some other friends, when I saw a young cute guy, must be in his late teens, queuing up at the food counter. He’s got a pretty face partly obscured by his baseball cap which matched quite well with his sporty shirt, walking shorts, and immaculately white sneakers. He saw me looking at him, and his gaze stayed on for more seconds than necessary. He let go of the stare only after the girl in the counter called his attention, perhaps clarifying something on the food he was ordering. He was really cute. Yummy by any standards. He was not alone though. Towering behind him, obviously a companion, was a balding man with a bouncing belly, perhaps in his 50s, his right hand on the boy’s left shoulder.
Based on their looks and their body language, I thought he cannot possibly be the boy’s father, nor any family member.
“Mag-jowa,” I whispered to my seatmate, my lips puckering to point to the odd couple’s direction.
“Judgmental ka!” my seatmate replied, his eyes betraying his words. I knew he thought the same way I did about boy and bundat, but was trying to be the more world peace-ish one.
I took out my camera, jokingly said “Picture-an ko kaya… tapos i-blog ko sa MGG?”
My seatmate got all stern and sarcastic, “sige, palaganapin mo ang pagiging judgmental!”
The couple, after getting their orders from the counter, walked past our table and sat at the most inconspicuous corner of the restaurant. Shooting glances to where they were seated, I continued to observe. Their conversation was choppy, not fluid, and they were speaking, seemingly, in unnecessarily quiet whispers. All these amidst the bustling, jostling noise of McDonald’s crew and crowd.
Youth, holding a net shopping bag filled with walnuts, a love gift, draws close to a man who reaches out to fondle him; Attic red-figure plate 530-430 BCE; Ashmolean Museum, Oxford.
In antiquity, pederasty as an educational institution for the inculcation of moral and cultural values, as well as a form of sexual expression, entered history from the Archaic period onwards in Ancient Greece, though Cretan ritual objects reflecting an already formalized practice date to the late Minoan civilization, around 1650 BCE.
The ancient Greeks, in the context of the pederastic city-states, were the first to describe, study, systematize, and establish pederasty as an institution. As keystone of the Greek paideia, the relationship between lover and beloved (erastes and eromenos) was valued for fostering excellence in the youth as well as in the man who loved him.
The topic of pederasty was the subject of extensive analysis. Some of the principal questions discussed were:
* Is pederasty right or wrong?
* Which form should pederasty take, chaste or sexual?
* What kind of sexual acts are legitimate?
[Source]
Sponsor — that’s how some people call it nowadays. It first entered my consciousness several years ago when I was dating this tall, hot guy who I later found out had a “sponsor” — according to him, just a friend, who is so wise he loved every minute talking to him. He just missed to tell me he was also so kind he would lavish him with expensive gifts supposedly without expecting anything in return. A repeat performance with the actor I dated who also had, rumors have it, a history of having rich gay sponsors.
As in the referenced studies above, I too have questions in my mind on this topic –
* It seems that pederastic relationships have weathered time and culture that they have, while in incrementally different forms, persisted to this day. Why? What is it about this type of relationship that, despite sneers and jeers, made it a template with considerable longevity?
* Is there something fundamentally flawed in such relationship? Is it wrong?
* Between the lover and the beloved, the sponsor and the one being sponsored, the older and the younger, who wins? Who loses?
* On a more personal level, do you see yourself being a participant of such setup, either as a beloved young man, or a mature lover to the young, fresh one?
Feel free to express your thoughts here.
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Aug 19, 2008
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I got introduced to such a person before. Very intelligent, business-oriented, and supremely richer than the usual nouveau rich. I was fascinated with his knowledge, and he gave me tips on business which are quite useful.
However I was turned off when I realized he took a liking to me. My admiration for him has a boundary. He offered me things I could not afford yet. To be honest, it did cross my mind to give in — just for the thrill of having someone else spend for my lavish lifestyle. Who wouldn’t want an X5 or a Jaguar anyway?
However, it crossed my mind what my folks used to say before.. that one day I would also grow old and feel the same way as them. I wouldnt want to be 50 at one point in time and suddenly, turn out to be the “sponsor”.
Yeah, karma is a bitch.
Aug 19, 2008
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well, all i can say is: I DON’T WANNA GET BITTER, I DON’T WANNA TURN CRUEL, I DON’T WANNA GET OLD BEFORE I HAVE TO, I DON’T WANNA GET JADED, PETRIFIED & WEIGHTED…
to all the cute, goodlooking, well-endowed, nice built, young guys out there: MY BEST. to all unpretty, unfortunate, fat, old benefactors/sponsors out there: I’LL LIGHT A CANDLE & WISH U ALL D HAPPINESS. here’s Jill Sobule’s “BITTER” song dedicated to all of u: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfi6BGeVhek
Aug 19, 2008
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2 words, chicken hawk. simple. its not for me.. but ang dami.
Aug 19, 2008
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In my opinion, di naman lalapit ang guy sa gay kung wala siyang “mahihita” eh.
Aug 19, 2008
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meron akong ganyan.. hahaha..
I’m 21, and he’s 16. haha. cute nya grabe. Pero hindi ko sya ginagastusan, pareho kaming mayaman at matalino eh.
Aug 19, 2008
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I often discriminated a friend of mine who has a 70 year old American boyfriend. I didn’t know I would be on the same situation when I went to the US, I met a lot of older 40-60 white men who gave me gifts and money. Few I slept with and most of them just friendship and spending time together.. I didn’t ask for money they just know that I needed it because I wasn’t working at that time. I guess they have lots of money and things that they dont even care if they give. In the Philippines I am an average looking guy. Often times I would be the one to treat my date or EB. This is all new to me and now I understand why some people would prefer being with an older sponsor than someone young and cute but has no money. We can’t really judge anyone because we dont know what they are going through. I confided everything to one friend he said I am a prostitute and I found out he told others I was “pokpok”. This “friend” is 5 foot with curly hair and overweight. What I can say is that these “sponsors” are peole who will be there for me through thick and thin.
August 19, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Rommel, thank you for sharing. Again I am reminded that the value of this blog is more from the generous sharing of experiences, thoughts, and opinions from people who have come to gather around this humble little site. Because of you, thousands of people get a glimpse of reality from a different perspective. Salamat, mabuhay ka!
Aug 19, 2008
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Hay naku, mayaman sila at kayang nilang ibigay sa jowa nilang super gwapo ang lahat…E kung mapera din tayo e bonggang bongga din tayo for sure. Spend kung spend…
Aug 19, 2008
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Hi Migs & the whole community,
I’ve been on both sides of the fence. I guess it’s just a matter of time.
More power.
Aug 19, 2008
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question, ano yung order nila?
Aug 19, 2008
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gays are suppose to be happy all the time as the very meaning of the word suggest.but that’s not true all. If we have a way to find things that can make us happy why let yourself suffer and be lonely. What god or fate has not given us we must strive to achieve!
Aug 19, 2008
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pederasty is a relationship were in a older man takes in a younger man to teach the latter about philosophies etc. i believe that the reason pederasty is still here is coz this aspect of its being is still being practiced, though in different terms. what used to be more on giving knowledge is now more on giving things. teaching is still present but is overshadowed by the material gifts. am i making sense? hehe. sory if me wrong spelling.
Aug 19, 2008
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for someone who has the tendency to be attracted to older men, i can (somewhat) relate. di pa naman umabot to the point that i’m getting “sponsored” but i can’t deny the perks of getting attention. i’m just an average looking nelly queen so medyo mahirap talagang humanap ng “market” in my age bracket. hehe.
anyhoo. i do have gold-digging tendencies so what the heck. hhahahah!
Aug 19, 2008
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umorder ba sila ng mcflurry? ^_^
Aug 19, 2008
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i see nothing but heartache in this kind of relationship. first, this will definitely not last. the young guy will find someone hotter (or perhaps richer), or maybe just break up coz he’s got his senses back. second, the old guy will end up alone and abandoned…though he’ll be able to do all the dirty evil things that he normally does. (me shivers at the thought. blimey!)
the point is, SPARE YOURSELF FROM HEARTACHE BROUGHT BY ANY RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL NOT LAST. we only have one heart…if it gets too broken, it hardens. don’t let it come to that. (i’m probably way off. lol)
Aug 19, 2008
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every gays life should be as happy as the literal meaning of the word. Yet we all know that happiness to a gay man’s life is as elusive as the ideal mr right.if one is capable of finding happiness in his own little or expensive way, he is not to be blamed or judged. Happiness is not something we can qualify or quantify. What is important is to live within the parameters of what a gay life trully is…and that is to be happy and be very happy…period!
Aug 20, 2008
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Migs, is having a sponsor the same as being an escort, o prostitute?
Aug 20, 2008
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both parties should take into account the consequences of having such relationship. but if masaya sila sa ganoon, then let it be. siguro i think sa biological perspective yung relationship, parang parasitism. alam man o hindi ng benefactor(host) where it all ends up, degraded na sya ng parasite cutie sa treats and goodies na nabibigay niya. i think the one who losses is the host when the other then realizes that he can’t live alone with the things that the host can give. hay. ewan. bakit kasi inimbento ni alexander the great ang pagiging gay?
Aug 20, 2008
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the proper word for this kind of relationships is parasitic. both are parasites and as with all parasites both will kill each other sooner rather than later.
Aug 20, 2008
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would a 50 year old gay date someone who’s 50 too? or a 60 year old date someone who’s 40 despite the 20 year gap? what’s the point? i don’t know. we’ll get old sometime soon. then we will decide if we will be still attracted to someone who is in their 20’s or someone who is about our age. with regards to sponsorship issue. it’s a 2 way street. if you know the consequences, and what you’re getting into then it’s not a problem. for as long a you know that everything comes to an end. hell, even some straight relatonships do come to an end!
Aug 21, 2008
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sayang ang jaguar!
Aug 21, 2008
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we wuld all know when we reach that age..as for now if ur still young u wuld not really know the why and the what of having this kind of relationship..i think basically its based on happiness and being complete, if we have these in us we wuld not worry so much on what kind of relationship we have be it with an older guy or younger..
Aug 22, 2008
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…why make comparison with Greek social system? “the Glory that was Greeks” are ssso different from Filipinos! …like light and day! as to how older Gay Filipinos became attracted to nubile boys? …hmmm due to decades of “sexual repression” dictated by strict Christian beliefs! …that explains it!
…btw “phedofilia” as a repressed human condition is not an excuse to prey on innocent victims! …blame it on religion.
Aug 22, 2008
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is this mcdo in katipunan? =)
Aug 22, 2008
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Sugarcoat, possible kaya yun! 4got m0 n b ang Brokebek Mauntun?
Aug 23, 2008
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@bakatista
yes it’s possible but realistically how many gay couples are there na same age? yun na lang talagang nagtagal siguro sa relationship. still a minority though. but yes it’s possible! in the end it will all boil down to preference.
funny, a friend of mine says, he’ll never have a relationship or go to bed with someone who’s beyond 25 kahit tumanda na siya. kasi it might cause him gastro intestinal pain - food poisoning daw kasi expired na! LOL!
Aug 25, 2008
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it’s all about social mobility. gay or straight, man or woman, young or old, it will be inevitable for the unlucky poor or adequately sufficient but super aspirational and the unlucky ugly or the aging but getting rich people.
it’s prostitution romanticized.