It was past midnight.
My cellphone beeped, a new message from an unfamiliar number. It started with, “Hi Migs.”
Later I realized that same number called me several times that day. Whenever I answered, it was just silence from the other line. Either a shy stalker, or a prank caller, I thought. I was pretty busy throughout that day and did not want to get upset so I just let it be. Each time the number rang, I would very politely answer, “Hello?” Each time I did, there was nothing on the other end but silence.
Past midnight, as the moon broke out of the sorry clouds, the caller likewise revealed himself.
“Hi Migs. Nice to hear your ‘hello’ again. It’s been exactly one year since we first met. And again, I’m here, same time, same restaurant, almost the same table, just wishing that I’m with the same person too as last year. But since alam kong hindi na puwede, celebrating good old times na lang. I miss you, Migs. I really do. I know you’re happy now. Good luck!”
And I realize, some hearts just don’t know how to quit. They can get tired, but they nevertheless continue beating for their beloved. I pity the person but at the same time I feel so powerless — how can you salve that aching heart when you cannot make yourself reciprocate?
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This thing has 7 Comments
ako.. hinayaan ko na lang.. i can do nothing and he would be more frustrated if i reply to him pa… mas lalo niya akong hindi malilimutan… harsh as it may sound but sometimes, kailangan kasi turuan din sila na hindi lahat aayon sa gusto nila..
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prang same tyo ng situation just last month haaayss… hirap yan
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hi migs. well it just seems to me it’s you who’s asking for some advice this time. so i might as well give mine.
i do not know exactly what transpired between you and the guy, but i have reason to believe that i’ve gone through the same situation he’s been put in. and while i’m over it now, and if you just happen not to know migs, rejection gives you a very ugly feeling. it makes you feel somehow like trash and worthless. you keep asking yourself bakit hindi kayang suklian or tumbasan yung pagmamahal na binibigay mo when nothing’s wrong with you. and thus comes the loneliness, hopelessness and self-pity. a really ugly feeling.
please don’t pity him migs, i hope you can still lend him a hand and somehow help him pull through. talk to him. answer all his questions. seek face-to-face closure. settle all issues. and if it’s still not too much to ask, extend some decent amount of friendship. because if you don’t, it might evolve into a cancer that will just eat away at him for a long time. i don’t know with you, but i certainly don’t want to be “credited” for such.
maybe you could have loved him better. maybe he should have given you more. maybe his heart was just next in line. maybe hearts have to break sometimes. but it’s not too late to make him feel better than the way he feels now just because he loves you.
you can quit on him as a lover but please don’t quit on him as a person. kahit yun man lang isukli mo sa kanya…
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@yohan
That’s the dilemma. If I pull away, as if I’m not valuing him as a person — which is not really true. I want to be his friend, actually. The other choice would be to extend myself and be “just a friend” — but then this can also be bad if he misinterprets, or if it makes him more attached, as if I’m not helping him to actually get over me.
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Pwede ba ipasok dito yung linya ng Love of Siam? “Even if we are not together, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.” (something to that effect).
I agree with Yohan…
For me, just tell him face to face that its really over.
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I am in love with someone for two years. I love him so much it hurts. I see him everyday yet I miss him. He is my friend. But I know that he will never reciprocate. I sometimes hate the person thinking that he never appreciated me…though there are like gazillion of times that we talked and he thanked me for being there for him. You know what when I asked my friend about what I should do…she said something, unanalytical and off the top of her head response that made me think it is the sanest answer I’ve got so far… “Magsasawa ka rin”. Migs you can only do so much. If he is ready to move on he will move on. If he badly wants to stop he will stop. You want to be his friend then be whatever it is that you want because no matter what you do and not do…its still his decision that matters. The reason why we have this delemma sometimes is that we care. But truth is we cannot make someones heart stop just by making them feel they have to stop. It has to come from them, It has to come from him. One day he will get tired of hoping against hope and will stop communicating with you. One day without noticing it, not a single second of that day you crossed his mind. One day he’ll call someone, same time, in the same place but that number will no longer be yours. Just pray for his happiness.
God speed!
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When I was in school I fell head over heels over this guy Mike. He was straight. I was not. I was stupid enough to hope that in three years he’d want me. But he wanted girls, and I wasn’t. It was hard for me even now, since we were good friends.
Sigh.
I commiserate.
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