Here’s a gay relationship advice from Jim Sullivan, well-known dating and relationship coach, with 25 years coaching/counseling experience, highly regarded advisor and mentor to the LGBT community:
The first key to be being a successful gay dater is: no sex for the first three dates. Cry. Scream. Curse me. But you’ll see it works. Wanting sex is as natural as wanting to eat, but intimacy cannot be rushed. It takes time to know someone. Too much fast food can be harmful to the body, and too much fast sex can be an impediment to intimacy.
What do you think? Do you agree or disagree?
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This thing has 38 Comments
i agree.
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basically it’s a test of patience. nakapaghihintay ang may malinis na hangarin. Otherwise known as “pa-hard-to-get”.
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he is absolutely right. many gays confuse dating with looking for sex. if you are looking for sex, then you are cruising - no need to know the person, just get it over with and satisfy your libido. if you, however, are looking for a possible partner in life, you will have to know the person first (and I mean really know the person) and not just his dick. not knowing the difference is the difference between gays who have found that special partner in life and those who are having sex but still end-up lonely and unhappy.
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i absolutely agree…
Sam, i still hesitant. i ask you to please bear with me and give me truth.
he! raou_05@yahoo.com
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Too much fast food can be harmful to the body, and too much fast sex can be an impediment to intimacy.
>>very well said lol i definitely agree. why rush things when you can wait and have it for a longer span of time. or it depends, if you feel like the guy is for keeps then wait. but if it’s more likely to be a one night stand then go do it; right then and there hahaha.
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disagree!!!
sayang ang oras, pera and effort!!!
pag good in bed then that’s the time that i will try to know the guy better… ako ba to?
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I agree…. Iam a living testimony of it..Ü
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Pray Hard it works….Joy of S.E.X is not only limited to just three days? It is only on the person’s mindset.
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i take it back… ur a fool sam… honestly i feel betrayed right now…
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Agree… with an ex-boyfriend of mine, we didn’t get to have sex until our first monthsary. (but that was mostly because we didn’t have much time on our hands… I think. LOL!)
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i agree
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boyfriend ko xa ang ngsbi na no sex muna para pure love lng hehehe well maxado kong natuwa sa sinabi nya!
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i definitly agree
whats three days compared to a life time right? oh.. and btw, you gotta be smart on the three days though… look for red flags 
those three days can either be a make or break 
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sorry..”dates” pla yun and not “days”
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paano kung the other party want it as a one night only date?
ok sana kung gusto mo nag intimacy…….but, if you want to lose control and get out of your comfort zone….go na! torjak na walang bayad…enjoy pa!
it wud be a crazy fun night….ryt?
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i agree. i had a few number of dates with my current partner and had 2 sleepovers until we agreed to have sex…
well, you’ll realize that its not just about sex. its the love that you cherish.
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I agree with matt. Sayang an panahon at pera sa tao na yan kung wala din naman magandang pupuntahan.
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i totally agree. you date someone because you like him at mas gusto mo siya makilala. you don’t date someone because you lust him or anything. that’s insane. saka hindi lang sa sex umiikot ang isang relasyon, lalo na sa same-sex relationship. it can also be love, you know. pure love.
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I suppose it has some truth in it. I personally subscried to the idea. And I belive in an ideal situation, it should really work. hwever, it did not work for me.
I tried dating guys, but they never seemed to work out… So I tried not being serious about the whole relationship thing and just play around. It was not what I wanted but in a utilitarian way of thinking, it was fast approach to temporarily address needs.
I was getting real cynical about the whole relationship thing until i had this one night stand with this guy. and one became two, followed by other encounters of the same nature… until finally we decided to try dating for a change… and well, we lasted quite a while, we’ll be a year in a few weeks now. hopefully it lasts longer than that.
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i reccomendably yes..thats nice and wholesome idea hehehhe..thnks for that idea Migs…
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Maski nga three months of no sex okay lang sa akin. I really want to know the other person first before I go to bed with him.
Kung possible I want to start off as friends muna para I really get to know him better kaysa naman when we are dating tapos I find out that it’s not gonna work out.
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i used to agree but now I strongly DISAGREE….been out with several guys, several times and most times this guys (especially yung me mga linta) would get evrything they want from you the earliest time possible only for you to find out on later dates that they are not into you….
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i would agree… but it would depend if you’re dating just for sex (i knew and met a lot of them), but i date poeple intentionally for companionship and of course, for a possible relationship (i won’t say for “friendship” ‘coz i’m not into showbiz) thats why i wont put sex first…
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@keeiko: i strongly disagree. you can never date for sex. you have sex for sex, and not date for sex.
you date for a possible relationship. well, that’s just my opinion.
if you’re dating for sex, then it’s not called dating. dating is not the right word to describe it.
i don’t know. but if you’re dating someone, that means na gusto mo siya makilala ng mas malalim. at hindi para isex lang siya.
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but i experienced those people who dated just to have sex… getting to know types yet at the end of the night, it’s still sex. and nothing follows after that…
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I agree, sex on the first or second date may give away the mystery………………….
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ayan naglabasan na rin. those who can’t wait: KATY DE LA CRUZ! those who can, well they end up choosing well. Kung di na tatagal ng 3rd date, dapat mo nang PATUSIN?! DESPERADA KA NING.
Ganito lang yan, kung relasyon ang hanap you date and date. Kung libog lang, you date and breed or just plain breed depende sa tindi ng NEED.
Jim you are so right.
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yep @ chase. let’s not call it dating if it’s the call of nature we’re addressing. i agree with darkly, it’s safe to call it cruising.
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What a load of crap. sounds to me like a paulo coelho self-help-that-isnt-marketed-as-self help philosophy.mechanically dictating the flow between two people… what if both click on the 3 dates and when the sex happens,it doesnt work. is it fair to keep the relationship despite the sexual incompatibility just because the 3 prior dates have been successfull..???
its so typical hetero, date the girl till you get booty. tell her everything she wants, make sure you inhibit your personality enough for her to shag you. whats wrong with you people over there?
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naniniwala ako dito! =)
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Why compare fast-food with sex? Desire for food and desire for sex? TOTALLY DIFFERENT! BWISIT NA AUTHOR IMPOKRITO..hahahah
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yes! i agree!
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I SO AGREE… i had sex with all the guys the first time we dated. and all of them failed.
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sana makakita na ko ng ganun… hehe! raou_05@yahoo.com.. goodtimes!
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we dated fourteen (14) times in a span of four months. i was actually expecting to get laid each and every date we had, but it seemed he was more interested in going through the getting-gto-know-you stage. so i behaved. after the fifth date, i was beginning to feel in love and so i went on the dating game. the most that we had gone through was french kissing. we finally became “US” on our 12th date. I was not only very in love but very horny as well. so i finally initiated the honey moon scene. excuses were made so i got a bit disappointed. finally, after my 3rd try, he gave in. but then again, nothing happened. he confessed he is impotent. i was deeply in love but i have my needs. i felt betrayed. so i bid goodbye.
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i very much agree, and in my case, even for so many dates… it really works, i have got into a relationship with a straight boy five years ago and till now the relationship is still working and i bet getting more intimate, with us two, feeling more attached to each other as the years go by… like friendship getting too deep.. in the first year of our relationship , i haven’t touched him even though we, in many times, sleep together. i earned his respect… and till now we regard sex as sacred and not just a conduit to flush desires of the flesh. there is something more deeper than sex, something more intimate, and love, i tell you everybody is very very much more than sex..
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Good for u Dave!
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I agree…. pero u know wat…. this is applicable lang sa mga 28 - 30 yrs. old. just being honest
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