This article was written by John Lapus. Funny, witty, yet rings true. I so like the ending, so world peace! Taray mo `teh!
Si Carol Dauden, na isang magaling aktres, at si Aiza Seguera, na mahusay na mang-aawit, ay umamin na—sila ay mga tomboy. Mukha naman silang masaya sa kanilang pag-amin. Mas naging malaya sila. Natanggap naman sila ng mga pamilya nila at mga kaibigan. Pero bakit ang mga bakla sa showbiz, isang damukal ang ayaw umamin. Yung iba, tumanda na, at yung iba naman, namatay na pero hindi umamin. Namatay nang nagtatago. Namatay nang hindi malaya. Kawawang bakla.
Sabi ng mga kaibigan kong tomboy, minsan daw, nakaka-get sila ng babaeng makaka-s*x nang hindi nila binabayaran. Para ding mga straight guys na minsan talk show lang at isang bote ng beer, confirmed na! Yung mga baklang mukhang babae at maganda, siguro nakaka-get ng libre, pero prangkahan na, yung iba hindi. Kahit mayaman ang bakla or sikat at powerful, pay pa din. Yung iba, hindi cash. Minsan, career or trabaho. Minsan, damit or rubber shoes. Basta, may kapalit pa rin. May mga kaibigan akong nagmamaganda. Mahal daw sila ng kanilang mga straight boyfriends. I asked them, “Try niyo nga huwag bigyan ‘yan ng allowance or work, tignan ko lang kung boyfriend mo pa ‘yan.” Ayaw naman nila i-try. Kawawang bakla.
Ang dami kong kilalang tomboy na ang girlfriend babaeng totoo ‘tapos tumagal ang relasyon. Sa mga bakla, ang tumatagal lang yung bakla sa baklang relasyon. Kawawang bakla.
Lima na ang kakilala kong baklang pinatay. Yung dalawa, ka-close ko pa. Nagkaroon tuloy ng chismis na baka may gay serial killer. Pero tomboy, walang masyadong pinapatay. Naisip ko, itong mga gay killers, they know na kaya nilang patayin ang mga kawawang bakla na biktima nila. Honestly, minsan naisip ko, kung meron kayang bakla na serial killer naman ng mga lalaki? Bongga, di ba? Pero mga salbahe lang ang pinapatay niya. Kaya lang ‘pag nahuli, kawawang bakla.
Parang boring ang kumalat na picture ng Mocha girls na naghahalikan. Pero kung member ng all-male group ang may kumalat na picture na naglalaplapan, kahit biruan lang din tulad ng sa Mocha, I’m sure-manicure-pedicure-kulot, hanggang next year ay headline ‘yon. Pagchi-chismisan sa beauty parlor, palengke, school, opisina, prisinto, at sa batis habang naglalaba. Kasi recently ko lang nalaman, na ‘pag dalawang babae pala ang naghalikan, natuturn-on ang mga lalaki. Pero ‘pag dalawang lalaki ang naghalikan, hindi naman natuturn-on ang mga babae, worst, nandidiri sila. Biased, di ba? Kawawang bakla.
Pag ang mga lalaki nambabae, sasabihin “macho.” Pero pag namakla, “kadiri.” Kawawang bakla.
Pag ang bakla mukhang babae, maganda. Pero ang babae pag mukang bakla, pangit. Hahaha. Kawawang bakla.
Eto, talagang totoo. Pag ang baklang pa-girl malaki ang nota, alaskado siya sa mga kaibigan niyang bakla. Ang tomboy na pamin pag matambok ang pechay, kaiinggitan ng mga kaibigan niyang tomboy. Suwerteng tomboy, kawawang bakla.
Ang dami kong kaibigang Filipino-Chinese na tomboy at accepted ng family nila. Ang dami kong kaibigang Filipino-Chinese na tagong bakla. Yung iba umamin na lang noong patay na ang tatay nila. Kawawang bakla.
Pag may dumaan na bakla, sumisigaw ang mga batang kalye ng, “Bakla! Bakla!” Pero parang hindi pa ako nakarinig na sumigaw sila ng, “Tomboy! Tomboy!” Kawawang bakla.
Ang mga baklang nakadamit-babae, posibleng mabastos pag pumasok sa C.R. ng boys. Pag ang tomboy pumasok sa C.R. ng girls, okay lang na nakadamit-lalaki. Hindi kaya dahil lalaki lang ang nambabastos? Kawawang bakla.
Nabanggit ko na ito dati. Ang dami kong nakikitang tomboy na may ka-holding hands na babae. May nakita na ba kayong baklang hinolding hands ng boyfriend niya? In public, ha. Kawawang bakla.
Yung isang kaibigan kong tomboy, tuwang-tuwa daw ang tatay niyang sundalo nang malamang tomboy siya. Yung kaibigan kong bakla, binugbog ng tatay na sundalo nang malamang bakla. Kaloka. Kawawang bakla.
Pag ang anak na lalaki or babae masama ang ugali, ang tawag “black sheep.” Pag bakla ang anak na masama ang ugali, ang tawag “salot.” May kaibigan nga ako na mabait naman, salot pa din ang turing ng pamilya. Maryosep, kawawang bakla.
Kadalasan ang lalaki, kapag nakikipag-break sa girlfriend nila, kasi may ibang babae. Kapag ang lalaki, nakikipag-break sa bakla, kasi may ibang bakla or babae. Heto ang kakaiba, may kaibigan akong bakla, iniwan siya ng jowa niya kasi nag-born again. Ang say ni bakla, “Anong palagay niya sa akin, demonyo?” Kawawang bakla.
Ang batang lalaki ‘pag kumikendeng, sasabihin “bakla paglaki.” ‘Pag ang batang babae, macho kumilos, sasabihin ay “boyish” lang. Kawawang baklita.
Ang mga babae tuwang-tuwa ‘pag pumupunta sa gay bar. Ang mga bakla, kawawa sa pandidiri ‘pag pumunta sa girlie bar. Sure ako diyan. Sinama ako dati ng mga kaibigan kong lalaki, awang-awa ako sa sarili ko. Huhuhu.
Nakakatawa pero nakakasad yung joke na ito (buti na lang joke):
PARI: Ang mga bakla ay hindi makakapasok sa langit.
BAKLA: Ok lang ‘yon Father. Doon na lang kami sa Rainbow, magslide-slide.
Which made me think. Ang mga bakla lang ang makakaisip ng ganoon. Hindi na papasukin sa langit pero nakuha pang mag-taray at lumigaya sa pag-slide sa rainbow.
Dito sa Pilipinas, sa Quezon City na lang, tabi-tabi ang gay bar. Lesbian bar, may nakita ka na?
Alam niyo ba na may mga spa at massage parlor na para lang sa mga bakla? Bongga!
Walang baklang istambay. As in pang lalaki lang ang word na ‘yan. Yun nga lang, may baklang pusher at bugaw pero may trabaho pa din. Bihira ang baklang holdaper. Yung kumukuha na lang ng hindi kanila. May na-meet na akong baklang snatcher at akyat-bahay, at least, nag-effort muna sa pagtakbo at pag-akyat. Hahaha.
Ang word na “pink peso” ay dedicated daw sa pera na kinikita at ginagastos ng mga bakla.
Madami daw bakla sa call center na pinapayagang mag-boses babae kasi boses babae talaga. I doubt kung madaming tomboy ang boses lalaki. Aminin.
May kaibigan akong tomboy na nag-commit ng suicide after iwan ng girlfriend. Ang mga bakla ‘pag iniwan ng jowa, mababaliw lang—iiyak…mag-e-emote…magkukulong sa kwarto…magluluto…magpapa-parlor…’tapos may jowa na ulit. Taray! I should know.
Mas madaming bakla ang nanalo sa mga make-up at hair style competition. Oo naman.
Ang mga bakla, may taste. Pag sinabi naming pangit, pangit talaga ‘yon. Pero pag sinabi naming maganda, ay maganda talaga ‘yon. May kaibigan akong lalaki. May pina-date sa akin na barkada daw niyang guwapo. Sa barkada nila, ‘yon daw ang pinaka-guwapo. Nang makita ko, ang naisip ko lang, “Diyos ko po! Ano pa itsura ng pangit sa barkada nila?” May barkada naman akong babae. Pinakilala sa akin yung manliligaw niya. Super guwapo daw. Pucha, pagkakita ko, napa-C.R. ako.
Ang mga bakla, masaya kasama. Maingay, nakakatawa at hindi boring.
Come to think of it. Hindi rin pala kami masyadong kawawa. Mga bakla, tara na sa Rainbow at mag-slide-slide in this particular order:
RED- Mga baklang pa-girl, operada at mukhang babae. Go, mga sisters!
ORANGE- Mga batang bakla. Slide na, mga anak!
GREEN- Mga paminta, mukhang lalaki, members ng guys4men.com. Slide na, mga pare!
YELLOW- Mga baklang may asawa at anak. You deserved to be happy. Slide na!
VIOLET- Mga baklang bisexual, dito kayo kasi alanganing red, alanganing blue. Go!
INDIGO- Mga baklang Diva at Mama. Halina mga sisters. Mama Ricky, kapit lang po mabuti. Sunod na po ako in a while.
BLUE- Mga baklang tago at ayaw umamin, dito kayo. Kahit hindi kayo umaamin, may karapatan din kayong mag-slide sa rainbow natin. Ingat lang sa pagtili at baka mabuking. Diyan kayo sa dulo para hindi mahalata ng bayan na nakikipaglaro kayo sa amin. Don’t worry, we understand. Alam ko, kawawa din kayo. Sssshhhh….
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This thing has 73 Comments
blue violet ata ako
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Aww. I never knew na ganitong kagaling magsulat si John.. Isa na namang patunay na sa kabila ng kapaitan at kasaklapan ng mundo, may maibabato parin tayo pabalik dito. Hindi isang pagganti, pero isang malupit na ring banat.
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ako ba ang first? wow !!! magpapa burger ako!!!
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sa green lang ako may-slide… this article is really funny at totoo ang nilalaman.
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Well honestly, that’s a nice way of balancing the yin yang of it all. Being a being of amphibious nature (hahahaha I love being green) the initial response to the piece is, yeah, so? Then maybe it picks up after all, who wants to be a lesbian (ay tarush!).
But to Jon and all sundry (ay dry ang day), the born again thing, happens. Its not that you’re the devil. far from it. I guess many of us born again people (Jon ako po ay born again), have to esche evil in all its forms, and sadly I’ve yet to see someone who can say that being gay is evil.
I have a truce with that idea.
If, God is love, and to love your enemy is divine, then why can’t Christians who are straight love me?
I as a gay man,who believes in being born again, can’t make that one work.
Don’t I have a right to be part of God’s grace as well? He didn’t say, come to me when you’re better, he said, come to me all that are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
Kawawang bakla, and that sums up what I think of all this, we do need grace. Maybe more than the average person. I have come to live with my christianity not as an alternative to being homosexual ( people think being gay is an alternative), I accept my being gay as God accepts me as a person who just needs Him (well, there’s no pun intended here ok? )
So please, let’s not go down on being christian or born again just because many of the orthodox members of “born again” or “christian” groups do it to us. I’d rather just give them the love and respect I want for myself. Because if they won’t give it, doesn’t mean I don’t have it.
Slide down the rainbow.
Rather not, bottom ako, baka di na magamit.
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mga bakla…tara na! biyahe na sa rainbow!
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great piece, especially the rainbow joke. True, ang bading, whatever adversity thrown at them, fight nang fight and having fun along the way…
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kaya nga mas mabuti pang wala jowa kasi mas enjoy. oi, meron namang isang joke — makakapasok naman daw ang mga bakla sa langit, sila pa nga daw ang unang papasukin, bakit? kasi magdedecorate pa. o di ba.
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petty na kung petty pero mali yung arrangement ng rainbow colors. dapat red, orange, yellow, blue, indigo, violet. pasensya naman. otherwise, it’s a good read.
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This is really funny!
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Bow naman ako sa article na ito…
A good combi of wits and humor…
Go ate sweet!! Mabuhay ka!!
Hahahahaha!
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wow! cool k tlg dyan,,panalo ang mga ideyolohiya sa buhay,,sumasang-ayon ako sa mga sinabi mo,,mabuhay k,,,sa puso ikaw ang number 1 sa puso ko,,,hahaha,,go for the gold sa creer mo,,luv you john,,
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nu ba yan,, tglaog n nga lang mali pa grammar ko,,ulit,,sa puso ko ikaw ang number 1 john,,,yan tama n cguro yan,,,sana pagmay bago kng article send mo sa email ko ung link,,salamat
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I have a partner for over a year now. Bakla kami pareho (duh). We hold hands at naglalambingan kami in public, kebs sa makakakita.
Thing is, hindi ka naman kawawa unless you allow yourself to be.
Astig ang article na ‘to!
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“Sa mga bakla, ang tumatagal lang yung bakla sa baklang relasyon. Kawawang bakla.”
- Pero teka, bakit naman ito naging kawawang sitwasyon? Eh ganito naman talaga dapat ah. Sa bakla lang din makakahanap ng true romantic love ang isang bakla.
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I’m sick of gays being portrayed that they dont have a choice but to love without being loved back. That they have to pay for affection. That they are beggars and therefore cannot choose. That they have to be martyrs and should be burned at the stake. I want to show the other side, the bigger part of being gay - that they are loving, strong, intelligent and decent!
We gays were conditioned to accept whatever society had branded us - that we are promiscuous, unfaithful and sex-starved. We have to get out of that stigma. We have to show everyone what we are formidable, united and most of all… that we have good taste!
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green ata ako. kasi out ako sa family and friends dahil may partner ako…pero hindi ako kumekendengkendeng.haha!!! ang ganda ng rainbow!
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at mag-e-eight years na kami!!!!!!
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As a gay individual, I’m already hanging by a thread on the idea that there is salvation for me. We are created physically as men, but we feel opposite on the inside. We were born as we are, that is not by choice, we’re just stuck with it, how we got it? simply akin to a Russian roulette of the heavens on sexual orientation. I dont want to believe, or at least i try to convince myself that being one gives me a free ride to damnation. But putting everything in context with the bible, it looked like we got the bitter end of the stick, and it is surely not looking favorable to us. My only lifeline to the whole salvation is to believe that we still have a chance by affecting what is still in our control - our behavior- we cannot control the fact that we like men and everything that comes with it, proof of which is our uncontrollable arousal by everything masculine. That is not a choice and we have no control over that- we were born feeling exactly that way - at least I do, as far as i can remember.
Let us not confuse ourselves however, on the idea that we are women in men’s body. If we were, we should have been created as a woman physically to begin with. But we were born as men-males with all the functioning(as per science)-working visible body parts and organs - and to comply with the bible (at least this is the only faith i cling to that gives me the promise of salvation - as a gay myself) we should not disgrace that which were given to us, the body of a man/male by removing, altering and modifying with the intention of looking like that of a woman. We should only improve what was physically given to us and not change it, that, i believe would construe as a violation of the principle of the bible and would bring us accountability come judgement day.
This is one of the reasons why I believe as a gay individual, I must look, speak, act and uphold my appearance as a man but with the acceptance that I can only love another man and not a woman.
With these i admit that I am sometimes adamant and wavering in my quest to be friends with drags and trans and screaming fags with pink arms and fingers geticulated to the heavens… if only for the purpose of holding on to my sinking faith that being gay reserves the privilege to be given a place in the heavens as well.
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@laurel: Wow. You must be very happy with your life! Congrats!
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Wow! I admire Sweet for writing this article its funny but at the same time it is very realistic and that “rainbow” thing ang saya go ako diyan actually naisaisa ko na un mga kulay ng slide kaso d ko pa talga alam kung san talga ako pano naman kasi si Itay malaking tao baka bigla akong ipaslide sa rainbow una ulo, di ko pa keri yun di nya pa ako tapos paaralin, next time na lang pag may work na ako,hahaha. But Seriously Thank you Sweet this is really an eye opener for me. Mabuhay!!!!
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you’re right, migs. the ending is fantastic. subdued, hindi sumisigaw, pero malaman. may halong insulto na may compassion din naman. galing!
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nakakalungkot
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migs, thank you for posting this article. it made my day, really. btw, john lapus, you’re the man! hehe
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blue aq eh
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True, indeed!!! galing mo Sweet, this article really is the reality of what gay life is all about, but no matter what , we are the happiest and gayest people on this planet that’s why they like us, talo lang talaga tayo sa mga lalaki esp.if ma-inlove tayo but if pera-pera lang ang labanan hayaan mo na at least lumigaya tayo kahit sandali lang di ba? let’s just enjoy the rainbow slide and choose our color and have fun at least the rainbow is ours….cheers
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Lagi akong nagbabasa ng blog ni Sweet….Magaling sya, totoo, prangka,masaya at malungkot…Henyo ka,Sweet…
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That was hilarious!
Don’t worry. We may be persecuted right now, but with our ever-growing numbers, they’ll have no choice but to accept us in the next few years.
Remember, being a homo was accepted during the first civilizations and it’s high-time that we earn our righteous place once again in the rainbow! LOL!
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sobrang nakakatawa. forwarded the link to some friends who’ll appreciate a good laugh and the underlying meaning of John’s article. (ok lang naman siguro no?)
there’s this one guy (posted above) who’s at wits end regarding his homosexuality and the bible. just for thought. Ditch the bible! Say no to organized religion. Read the Koran, the Talmud, there are other readings even far older than the bible. Go Scientology. Go New Age. Maybe you’ll get the peace you deserve and reconcile with your polarities instead of being in perpetual purgatory. Just my Ps0.02 worth. World Peace!
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Taray! Love it!
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Nasaan ang Green sa rainbow mo? Magiging petty ka rin lang, hindi mo pa tinama. ROYGBIV, iha.
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na-a-ouch naman ako dito…
…tuloy, mas lalo akong naaawa sa sarili ko dahil pinanganak at mamamatay akong bakla…bakla na hindi man lang minahal ng kaniyang karapat-dapat na lalaki…
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ay mali pala…delete the last statement…
dapat pala…
“…bakla na hindi man lang nakahanap at nahanap at minahal ng kaniyang karapat-dapat na lalaki…”
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Sa indigo ako mag-slide. Ambisyoso.
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I like it. It may be satirical but I like it.
I am blue and green. I have to search Sweet’s blog to read more of his/her posts.
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I am teary eyed.
Bakla ako. Sa paningin ko blue ako. But people see me as green.
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GO GIRLS!
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@Red = I agree, mejo napataas din ang kilay ko nung nabasa ko un… I honestly feel that gay-staright male relationships are difficult to work out (if they will work out at all) coz no matter what both parties do, it’s will always be a one-way relationship.
Thanks Migs for re-posting, it’s an interesting read. Hope u don;t mind if I cross-post.
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you can read the post of John Lapus at pep.ph.
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Nabasa ko ito in most ways natamaan talaga ako..feeling ko ang tanga-tanga ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Last year 2007 nainlove ako sa isang stranger at tumagal kami 8 months. May mga anak siya sa iba-ibang babae pero wala siya pinakasalan. Worse - nag- claim na lalaki siya pero malandi pa sakin pagdating sa bed. Due to some reasons - na nakapagtataka bigla na lang nawala. Of course- ako lahat ang nagtrabaho during that time at wala siya work. Pero latter part - parang napagod na siya. So nag - away kami at naghiwalay. Pero I want to end it in a better way. I end our communication - last year - but until April this year - nag - “hi”and “hellos” pa rin kami- kase nagpapahaging na manliligaw- but then di niya tinutuloy. So i got dissapointed at ako na mismo ang di nakipag-communicate sa kanya. But then till now, patago ko pa rin binubuksan ang friendster niya at tinitingnan ang pictures. Nasa “shout-out” niya lagi ang Godly words that I thought ako nagtrigger sa kanya gawin yun because of what happened in the past. Pero he always change his front pic - yung the best porma eh “bi- na bi ” naman. I dont have anything againts “bi”..as in nagalit lang me but I dont know how can I let him go. I have my new bf now pero siya pa rin nasa isip ko.. pls help me.. - email me at :
alyong24@yahoo.com
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SORRY PO.. email ko pala eh : hugpillow@yahoo.com.. deactivated na yung isa.. sorry
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grabeh! true lahat ang sinabi ni sweet…:-)
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sa pink akoh.. hehehehe
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nakakatuwa…
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green ako offline
red ako online
lols
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red green ako kung meron mang ganong kulay,, hahah, slide nah
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Go Rainbow Club! Gays=Happy or Joy! Obviously, we are happy people! Let’s be gay! There are really successful queers in any profession. It’s all in the mind and attitude! GO!
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HAHHAHA!!!…
HHHmmmm napaisip ako dun ah!!..im 21 years old from davao..this site is great..nice article…..
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Napukaw ang loob ko doon ah. Maari bang hiramin ang entry mo na ito Migs?
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blue green yata ako…. meber ng G4M pero Diva! hahaha… luv the article, kudos to JL.
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i super <3 <3 this article. hehehe.
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grbe! naiyak ako sa article,,,im a not so straight girl,,, pero grbe,,,astig
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at bakit kawawa ang bakla na may jowang bakla?!!! dahil “lason” ang pumatol sa kapwa vekvek?!!! i veg to disagree!!! =!
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I really like sweet…
Grabe…
Like this article..applies to all!hahahah
Sa Blue pala ako mag slislide?
Panalo tlga si sweet! Mabuhay ka kapatid…
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sa blue ako magslislide.. ksama ko asawa ko si blue… 1 month na kami! hahaha great site sweet. i was there at your bday show sa lafline with guest john lloyd, coverboys, etc.. good luck sweet. sana mgkakakilala tayo sumday… tca
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ako share ko lang may na mit ako na guy last dec until now we still meet and sobrang ilove pa din ako. as in ang weird even mejo nararamdaman ko na my money inolve go padin he doesnt even sex me…. nakipag sex sha sa friend kong bi-gurl tapos martir padin ko.. pero love pa daw nya ako…anu gagawin ko. first love ko kce…
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ako pede sa green hehehe
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blue ako dati pero green na ako ngayon..wow ang ganda ng rainbow…multi kulay talaga
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Kabog talaga si sweet. GO MGA BINIBINING PABYULOSA!
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So TRUE!!!! Alexander the great practiced homosexuality, see? the one who conquered a lot of places in the world even loved a Man…. Who’s got a time machine anyone? It’s time to put that civilazation back…..
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ahaha.. nakakatawa yung article ni sweet.. i really had fun while reading his article…
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pwede bang makislide sa yellow, fetish ko kasi yung mga mayasawa. or sa blue, mga fetish ko yan eh. nakakasaw kasi sa green
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wkeke
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can I post this in my blog? enks!
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hehehe saya naman nito!!!!! hehehe think im on green or violet hahahahah!!!!
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yung mga blue at green magbuo naman tayo ng group/barkada ba…magchicks tayo pagkatpos magbasketbol hahaha
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Blue….
=(
the article made me more SAD!!!!!!!
haist!….but its ok..,madami naman tayo eh!! hahaha!!
lets sLide!!!!
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OHHH EMMMM GEEEEE!!!!!! INDIGO AKO tara na sa rainbow at kulayan ang mundo!!!
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Actuallly it’s not funny. It’s really true.
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its funny AND its really, really, really true! ewan ko ba kung saan ako mag slide. peace!
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WOW!
im loving this article.
its full of humor yet reality speaks loudly in this article.
Gays often praised thru the talent and fun we provide to the society, professionally or just socially. But, truth is after the so-called “show things” are back to how people treat us. We often say gays are more accepted here in our country. Maybe accepted in a way that people see all sorts of gays in public. Tanggap lang tayo ng mga tao dhil snay na sila na maraming bakla sa mundo. Acceptance in its true sense is definitely far from reality.
IM SO PROUD TO BE GAY!
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nagcirculate yan sa plmgf yahoo groups and i find it cute and direct infor. talaga. sana iapkita rin sa television yan ni sweet sa Showbiz Central sa show niya para naman mabasa ng mas maraming tao di ba Ineng!!!
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sa red naman ako day!!!! tara na byahe tayo mga pa-gurl…….
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[...] — Enchong Dee refreshes my love for Shakespeare’s sonnets. John Lapus wrote a hit blog post, garnering lots of fans for Sweet. I celebrated my birthday. A girl reader asks, “Is my [...]