Ryan has emailed me a couple of times, and this time, I’m publishing his letter. He is a young college dude fretting over the unusual behavior of his fratman friend. He is obviously attracted to his supposedly straight friend but is worried that he might lose him as a friend if he even dared ask. He asks: is he into me? how would i know? what should I do?
Hi there Migs,
I’m a frequent reader of your blog and I have noticed that you’re open to help other people if they need some advice regarding things on sexuality, relationships, etc. Then because of this I realized that I should ask you regarding this matter because even I am confused on how I interpret my situation.
Here’s the story…
I have a boyfriend, and we will be soon celebrating our 2nd anniversary (I hope…). But this letter is not about him.
Here’s the twist. I have a friend that belongs to a fraternity. Right now I am really confused on what is happening. I think he is giving me some signs. Let’s call him Jay.
I told Jay about myself being able to have relationships with both sexes, and it doesn’t bother him. When we were just starting to be friends we used to text every night ’till 12midnight or sometimes past midnight, text messages from him that has the word “gudnight” would be followed by words like “muah, switdrimz, don’t let the bed bugs bite”. Jay would invite me for a drink to his place then tells me not to go home and that i could sleep with him. Sometimes he would come over at my place for a couple of rounds of beer and sometimes when were a little bit drunk or do you call that tipsy? He would lay his head on my shoulder and acts like a cat (Is that purring? When a cat rubs its body to its master. I don’t know the term sorry). When we’re on my room and his in the computer and I’m on the bed txting or playing on my phone, he would just lay his head on my belly while waiting for the search results on the computer. When we watch a movie on the pc both of us lay down on the bed but then he would just shift his head to my chest. He even said once that he could hear my heartbeat.
This one happened only the last time we watch a movie in my room. We were a little bit drunk when he said he
wants to watch a porn movie. So i played one. Then just as i mentioned above he shifted his head on my chest. I was a little turned on not because of him but because of what we were watching and suddenly just to
shift the attention I said I would take a piture of him. He was game for a few shots and after that we
browsed the pics in my cp while he was still lying in my chest because some of the shots were a goof we
laughed but then his legs were accidentally rubbed on my crotch and because i was a little aroused I know he
felt my semi-hardon (Because he shifted his legs after it has touched my crotch). That incident with the
laughter and accidental rubbing happend twice. Nothing followed after that cause I fell asleep.
Now for his background? He is a member of a frat group in our school. Known as a chickboy since highschool. I don’t know if he’s sexually active, but i do know he always have girlfriendS.
I’m telling you these because I am now really confused of what is happening. Usually I know when guys are into me, but those guys are not my friends and this one is my friend thats why its so hard for me to tell… Could it be possible that he is into me? Even though he never had a same sex relationship? He knows that I’m Bi, but i knew him as a straight guy. His behavior, what does it mean? Sometimes I would feel an urge to ask him whats up with his way of behaving when we’re together but I’m too scared to ask him knowing that it might cost our friendship. What should I do? How could I know? Pls Help me..
Ryan, at first I wanted to refer you to my friend CC as your problem is definitely within his expertise (a.k.a. Philandering 101, 102, and the Masteral Course too). Hehehe! Peace, CC! But then you asked for my advice. Warning, conservative po ako pagdating sa relationships. So here goes. First, you have a boyfriend — what are you doing with a fratman inside your room, watching porn? Second, if I take the bf out of the picture, I’d say don’t fret too much on whether fratman is giving signs or not. I’m pretty sure he is open. But because you want his friendship while also wanting his wang, I’d say go with the flow. I leave it up to you if you want to be more aggressive but do recognize that fratman has an image to protect. If it’s just his wang you are dreaming of (and not a relationship with him) then I would say it is not impossible, but always with some amount of risk. I’ll let my readers continue with the advices. Basta I want you to be a good boy. If you want to play around, magpaka-single ka kaya muna? World peace and lumpia grease! ~Migs
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