Confused Gay, with a girlfriend

Tibs, a reader of this site, writes,

I have just recently come to terms with my sexuality. [Yes readers, Tibs is gay. -Migs] I have one bit of a problem though. A have a girlfriend, and weâ€™ve been together for 5 and a half years.

And I say,

There are famous (male) gays that have female live-in partners (e.g., Ogie Diaz, the showbiz writer/host), and there are gays that have wives as well (e.g., Ansel Beluso, already “reformed” and “straight”) — so I guess the news of gays with girlfriends do not really have such a shock value, to me at leats. In fact, I have no urge (and right) to damn and curse you for having a girlfriend… as you said, you have just come to terms with your sexuality, so you’re safe.

I guess the most pressing issue now is, what then should you do? I mean, with your girlfriend… should you break up with her? Should you tell her? I say (and this is just MY opinion), “yes” to the first question, and “maybe” to the second.

I assume that when you said you have “just recently come to terms with my sexuality,” you meant that you have honestly admitted to yourself that you are gay. If this statement is true then logically, you should not have romantic involvement with a girl. First, it is unfair to the girl, and second, it is unfair to you. In short, it is unfair for both of you. Therefore, how can such a relationship be justifiable?

Second, I don’t really know if you should tell her that you’re gay. While you may be sure you are, no one is required to divulge his or her sexual preference to anyone. But of course, I am not aware of your level of friendship, and I do know circumstances surrounding your relationship that make it really necessary to tell her. So let me give a safe answer, “maybe.”

Now, if there are other readers out there who would like to share their opinion, the comment form below is wide open. What do YOU think?

(This post is part of what I call, “The Tiburcio Series.”)

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This entry was posted on Thursday, September 7th, 2006 at 2:10 am and is filed under Homo-confusion, Hello from me, Misc.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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