I’ve seen just too many gay “family men” that I dare put forward this hypothesis: the Filipino gay man is the most reliable family man.
In the movie Jupit which incidentally will be exhibited in the upcoming Pink Film Festival, “Ate Gay” plays the parlorista and ever-responsible family man to his mom and siblings. It is a funny film, and made totally as a comedy, but it succeeds in bringing home one very important point — how the struggling parlorista gay gives, and gives to the point of hurting, all for the love of family.
McVie and McFamily
McVie, on the other hand, another fellow blogger (and regular reader of Manila Gay Guy) is one family gay man who is a case in point (in real life) — he loves his family so much, and proudly declares it in his blog as well as in our coffee conversations from time to time, how he “fell in love with (his) family all over again.” At the ripe age of 40, McVie has never had a gay relationship. I asked him once if he ever feared getting old without that special someone by his side. His answer? A one-word, not-so-witty-but-oh-so-touching answer: “family.”
Josh the Provider
Another case in point is a friend named Josh. He is 27 years old, and works as a graphic artist in Makati. He is the paragon of both ilaw and haligi ng tahanan. He is the family’s first-born and bread winner, and even after his siblings decided to have a family of their own, Kuya Josh remains as the provider. He exemplifies the saying, “isusubo na lang, ibibigay pa.”
I can continue listing down gay people I know, many of them good friends of mine, who have taken it upon themselves to be each their family’s survival anchor. There are several reasons why Filipino gay men can be most reliable as family men. First, gay men are generally resourceful and creative so regardless of their educational attainment, they find ways to work and earn a living. Second, being mostly single guys, gays have a little (and in some cases a lot) of extra money available for sharing. Third, Pinoy gay men are Pinoys and are family centric — thus, if and when they do have some extra, their natural tendency is to give to their family. Lastly, Pinoy gay men are generally natural survivors and adapters, bred to survive even in the harshest conditions — thus even if they have so little, they would prefer to give it to their family than to enjoy it themselves. These reasons, and probably more, make Pinoy gay men the best family man.
Having said all these, I feel that closeted gays should have one less thing to worry about when they contemplate whether or not they would out themselves to their beloved families. My own experience, while I have yet to out myself to my family, tells me that Pinoy parents (and children) love their children (and siblings) so much, and not even gender or sexual preference can change that.
Christmas and New Year Wish
As Christmas nears and the year closes, one of my most fervent wishes is for all Pinoy gay men who serve as great support to each their own family realize the importance of their role. We were made like this (or we chose to be like this) not only so we can express our kikay or not-so-kikay selves, and love the same kind; I would posit to say that one other possible reason is so that we can support, serve, and love our family as a gay man, with more heart, and more generosity that our circumstance affords us.
Mabuhay tayong lahat!
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