I actually sympathize with the author. In fairness, she’s already open-minded to the point of even sharing her own husband. She’s in a difficult stance.

I would have to agree on everything Migs said here. (Sigh.)

Simple. Ram is yours. Just blackmail Andy!:)

cino ba ng bear ng fruits kay ram,>>? db ikaw?? c andy, wala…wala naman eh wala nman matris un eh…………

I-top mo rin si Andy. Go!(Joke)
Ba’t kaya pati ang girl-boy relationship eh “open” na rin parang sa aming mga baglutchz..hmmm…
…Seriously, pray; He will hear you.

My question is, what does Ram have to say? Sure Ria “feels” that her husband loves here. But if he really does love her (ans supposedly only her), then he should leave Andy. Ram needs to butch it up and be a man. If he really loves his wife, he has to do something to stop hurting her and if he really wants out, he will move mountains to leave Andy to be with Ria. Screw utang na loob!

And Ria dear, stop being a martyr. Talk to Ram, tell him how you feel. For once in your life, be selfish! Think of yourself naman. Selfishness is not always a bad thing.

di lang yan siya utang na loob. they are both gays. i know…….

go on with your life.

i believe that you have been a very understanding wife for sharing him with andy for the last 7 years but enough is enough! if it is already causing you troubled sleep and heartaches it is high time that you put yout foot down and demand ram to once and for all decide which relationship he wants to keep. remember that you have the upper hand here because eventhough andy may have the capacity to provide ram with unlimited financial help, you are the wife who gave him 2 beautiful offsprings. andy can NEVER give that. if, and only if, ram refuses to do so, then tell him that you will leave him. let him suffer a little because however you look at it you suffered more from all this brouhaha.

you do, however, have to give him credit for his plans of working abroad because if you look at it differently, it may not be the work he is after but an ending to his relationship with andy.

lastly, pray. HE will give you the best solution to your problem. that i am very sure of.

another great story! WORLD PEACE!

I am gay and was in the same situation with you. But i have loved the guy so much that i was the one who gave up. My heart bleeded for years its been like what 6 years and still feel the same.

Andy hope you read this. Live up move forward. I feel the same but found a new love and strength with GOD!

the solution must first come from ram, he must decide if he really wants to leave andy…. as andy said Ram loves her but he needs him… I think his job is enough to support the family. You should fight for your right as a wife… I am sympathetic to the LGBT Community but this has got to stop. Andy does not love ram coz he is selfish. Selfish in a way that he only thinks about his needs and not what ram wants. They have children for God’s sake, andy should be thoughtful enough that their connection is not just friends but kumpare’s as well….to Andy, leave the guy alone maawa ka sa inaanak mo…to Ria, please fight for your husband…for the sake of the children!

If you love him so much, leave him.

Sometimes, leaving someone is the best way to show your love…

Thanks Migz for this:
“And I dare answer, go and sacrifice, yes even to the point of bleeding, but only to the edges of self-respect. Everyone needs to stand alert to preserve one’s dignity.”

…words I need right now…

Oh well. This world is indeed strange!

to ria:

make ram decide.. if he chooses you then good.. if he chooses andy then go on with your life.. you have done so much about it.. it is not fair for you.. and for your children.. they dont deserve a set-up like that.. it will be hard for you to do that.. but time will come that you’ll get over with it.. because if you’ll continue with this kind of setup you’ll lose yourself in the end.. suicide.. what if that will really happen?.. who will take care of your children?.. andy and ram?.. its better to be with your children than be with ram and hell.. i hope things will get better for you ria.. love yourself..

i just want to share that i am in a similar situation.. i am in love with my bestfriend who has a girlfriend. the thing is, my bestfriend and i have known each other for a long time now and became so intimate because of one crazy intoxicated night. we were friends since high school and would often get together and have moments to ourselves so we cud hangout. but there are times when we fool around, kiss, make out, and the works.. it has been going on for the longest time. but i am aware of the fact that he has a girlfriend, who through the course of their relationship, has also become my friend. though my bestfriend cannot leave her, he told me that he cannot stand losing me as well. so it’s something i have to accept because i love him, and he loves me as well and i feel it when we’re together and the way he talks to me. he says i’m his safe haven and when everything else goes wrong, m the one constant thing that’s there for him. and because of that, he loves me.. but a lot different from the way he loves his girlfriend, surely.. so the thing is.. you’re husband probably has reasons why he cannot let andy go. he loves you, that’s for sure.. but if you were open enough to accept it and take him despite all that, can you not talk to him about this and hear out his reasons? just something for you to think about.. if you need to hear more of my opinion, just post here.. i’m a MGG frequent. good luck.

Why would a mother of two be reading manilagayguy blogs.

i’m so saddened by story. its as if i wanna feel depressed myself. i feel for you ria. so much.

well, i think it’s time for you to assert your right as the WIFE. i’m gay. but i think i won’t be such homewrecker to let a family break because of my selfish desires.

Pag hindi mo na talaga kaya, i think you should confront ram and let him those between you and andy.

If ram loves you, then he would choose you. otherwise, talagang indebted si ram kay andy that he feels the need to reciprocate him for the rest of his life..or baka he loves andy na rin.

Don’t get me wrong. That’s how i understand it. If he’s brave enough to assert his stance to andy, he loves you and can’t afford to lose you. syempre iba na yun otherwise.

tell him how you feel and if he still goes on with this andy thing, leave him…

sori di ko pa nabasa yung rest of the story, pero may kakilala kong ganyan sya kaya yun, engineer din sya e, na meet ko sya sa gym, kaya pala ons lang kami, richie rich ang habol nya.

basahin ko ulet mamaya yung the rest of the story.

this i have to say…

have your husband lost his b*lls? he needs to choose…

Andun na tayos a tinatawag na “utang na loob”, but it doesn’t make your husband as a “pambayad utang”. In the first place, it was Andy’s decision to help. Acknowledging the help is more than enough.

Let your husband choose, if the decison will be against you then accept it, nothing more gratifying than having your self worth by the end of it all.

I have this gay friend who is almost like Andy in this story. One night he calls me sobbing saying he wanted to end his life because he couldn’t stand not being with his lover as much as he wanted. This guy has three kids with his wife of 5 years. I tried to console him and told him that it may be time that he let go of the guy and give him his freedom so he can be with his family. Like Ram, this guy also owes my friend a lot of “favors” since they were both in college. After telling my friend to move on with his life, he became hysterical and said things like ending his life and even taking the life of his lover. So there, I think one of the reason’s that Ram can’t leave Andy, and Ria even hinted at it in her letter, is because Ram fears what Andy might do if ever he ends their relationship. As they say, hell has no fury like a gay man scorned. And a gay man in love at that. So Ria, I feel for you but please weigh thinks well, plan your moves and be very cautious. I wish you well.

I just want to share that i had quite similar experienced. Its really complicated and difficult for you indeed. Since you are the one suffering a lot,i have to say that u have to fight what u think is right and what is best for everybody. You have the control of your husband but i dont mean to manipulate him. Let him realize the difficult situation over such matters and express what u feel about the situation. Dont make anything that provoke his nature but just guided him with your strenght and wisdom with your determination and prayers. This is the time u muster your courage and compassion for these two people who are befuddled.

I disagree saying that we have to let go that person whom we loved to make him realize his mistakes but rather its a time for us to challenge ourselves and develop patience, true love and virtue in times of chaotic situation. This is the time you teach your husband and let go of his fears with Andy.In that sense, you are acting as good friends to both of them. Do not tolerate them that is against your will and your rights as a wife. Treasure your husband and always there at his side especially in this trouble-world he is into. The success and victory of your relationship with your husband lies on you!!! Create a wonderful karma from this moment on!I am sure the ripple effect is vast and tranformation would be extended not only to yoursself but as well to your environment and the people around you..

You have a big problem. If your husband says that he loves the other guy, you’re in deep shit. Can you afford to lose your husband? Now, if he says he’ll leave the other guy, would you take his word for it? You’ll still be worried, and probably, be paranoid for the rest of your life. Make up your mind. Do you wish to risk everything for love? Then by all means fight for your man. But if he chooses the other guy over you, will you be able take it? You don’t know how deep their relationship is. Sometimes, confrontation doesn’t do the trick. Words will be said that shouldn’t be said and oftentimes, people end up more broken than ever before. What’s interesting in this life is that you have choices. And when you make choices, make sure you’re not selfish, and it’s for everybody’s benefit. Which is really out of love. If you love him, fight for him, but be ready for the consequences of your action.

To Ria, and to all the readers, Hi.

I am a frequent visitor of this site but this is the only time I felt compelled to write something after reading her article. Since Ria’s primary purpose in posting her article in this blog is for her to get answers on a different point of view, yes, “our” point of view, I might as well take sometime to share my thoughts to her.

Ram, being indebted doesnt give Andy the right to have your “husband” by the neck. Not even a privelige. Yes, Ram would always remember those days when Andy was there to help him all the way. And the fact that Andy extended support to your husband’s family could be reason enough to for him to feel most indebted to Andy. That act gave created a stigma on your husband’s mind that he will never ever be able to repay him. AND THAT VERY STIGMA IS EATING HIM WHOLE. IT IS CONSUMING HIS SELF-ESTEEM TO THE POINT THAT HE CANNOT SAY NO TO ANDY’S REQUESTS ANYMORE. AND THAT IS WRONG.

He might have not said this to you Ria, nor to Andy, but yes, the fact that we was compelled to “offer” his body to Andy as a payment for all of Andy’s goodness, I guess, made him feel most humilliated. It made him half the man he is worth. THAT WAS THE PRICE HE HAD TO PAY. AND THAT PAYMENT SHOULD BE MORE THAN ALL ANDY’S MONEY IS WORTH. THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH.

It’s not bad to return favors, not bad at all. But when pride is what is being asked as payment, I dont think that’s still ethical. DIGNITY IS WHAT MAKES A MAN. True! So it’s either Ram loses it all, or start saving what is left of him.

You might as well start explaining to your husband that certain things has to come to and end. The way Andy is behaving right now should be enough reason to “void” the arrangement you came up with while starting your relationship. And you RIA, should start claiming what is rightfully yours, AS A WHOLE! Teach Ram how to say NO. Teach him how to gently say NO. Let him write a million “thank yous”. And if Andy demands a million more, then let him write a million more. Gumamit siya ng MAJHONG PAD para di siya masyadong mahirapan.

Selfless to Selfish

Due credits should merit Andy, too. It was a laudible act he made, well, that was when he had “noble intentions” of helping Ram. THAT WAS WHEN HE HAD NOBLE INTENTIONS OF HELPING RAM. But the way he behaves now, and demands (time, body, etc), that makes him selfish. What was unconditional is now conditional. How can he be so selfish? He may have all the reasons in the world to act that way but it’s still making him selfish. I would have had agreed with your set-up, but Andy not considering the welfare of the baby by taking Ram’s time away from your and from your angel, I’d rather you put him out of the picture. I feel sad for Andy, but I guess that’s the best thing to do. And for you to have a fresh start, I dont think that would be difficult. I believe your family is stable enough to stay on solid ground.

Conclusion

No matter how we bleed our minds our Ria to help you, the solution is still with Ram’s will. But your voice Ria will be essential to his judgement. But whatever you come up with, do not forget to say a MILLION THANK YOUS AND SORRYS to Andy. You still owe a leg to that guy. Andy has a good heart, but it’s his love to Ram that’s eating him whole, making him do things you don’t like. Just pray that it will dawn to him that what he’s doing is wrong. Pray that it will be soon. It will be painful, but time will be his best comfort. I would like to end this post with this quote, and I would like you to share this to Ram.

“What would a man profit if he gains the world, but loses his soul.”

Hugs,
Kristofferace

My advise it, fight for your man. and fight your man. di naman puede na puro sakripisyo ka na lang. Dumating ka na ata sa point na dapat mamili ka. there are no right and wrong answers there. di na question of dignity, pero kung ano ang magpapasaya sa iyo. if you want your peace of mind, and move on. sigawan mo ang asawa mo at ang “querida” nia. labanan mo. hindi biro biro iyong mga taon na sinayang mo. you deserve at least na umalis ka na nakasigaw ka man lang. now, kung mahal mo talaga ang asawa mo, ipaglaban mo siya. umisip ka ng paraan paano mababayaran ng pera ang utang na loob na mister mo sa “friend” nia. pera lang ang katapat nian, ang tanong na lang ay magkano. Hija, nasa iyo ang alas whatever your decision will be. takot lang din nilang dalawa ano. its time to get ugly.

Wow! I just love the last sentences - TAKOT LANG NILANG DALAWA NO. IT’S TIME TO GET UGLY.

Go girl!!! Fight for your rights as a WOMAN!!!

i was into that situation na din before.. it was hard thats why ako na ang nag-give way.. i really don’t like it when i share my food with others.. kaya mas maganda na lang na wala.. sa kasal sila eh.. sino lang ba naman ako para paghiwalayin sila..??
kaya ria, better talk to your man…

go girl. fight for what you believe is yours.

but at the end of the day, you need to make sure where your husband’s heart belongs. as frightening and heartwrenching as it seems, you need to face the music.

i think a major consideration would be your child, but please dont use the kid to gain an upper hand.

all the best. hugs and kisses

Ria, all I want to say is thank you for breaking up your beautiful long story into paragraphs. You also used headlines to lead each one of them, which almost act like “chapter titles”. And oh, what effective headlines they are: The Tragedy and the Savior, Sharing Ram.. and my favorite You are the Querida, Not Me! The way you used an actual quote as headline: it really makes me feel that emotional impact. It hits me. Right here, girl. In my hearty.
–
Contrary to what you say, you are not a bad writer at all. You are a very good one. Please do consider revisting and participating more in MGG.com. I know that you are probably in a helpless, confused state (didn’t you ask readers how you could fight for your man and compete with Andy, yet in the same breath tell us in italics that you’ve already decided to leave the two alone?) But please do find the strength and time.
–
Now, if only there was a way to break up long comments into paragraphs too… Next Hunk!

wow… this is definitely heartbreaking. I feel for you, Ria. You gotta stop living in a lie. This is the part where you need to decide where to go and if you want to go alone or not.

ang utang na loob ang pinakamahirap bayaran sa lahat. Pero pagsinumbat ang pagtulong, BAWI ka may SUKLI ka pa.

Ria, ipaglaban ko anung pinanghahawakan mo!

Andy, dama ko naniniwala ka kay Roderick Paulate sa MMK “DI ba wala kang pera! Umiyak ka na lang”

Ram, beauty is a curse!

where’s Ace? I think Ria needs your comments..ikaw kasi ang pinakamagaling magbigay ng advice..

You knew about the realtionship your husband and Andy have from the start, you even agreed to share your man(or is it Andy let you share his man) I’m not sure, but Ria have some self-respect! Is it comfortable for you too to have Andy around? I do not have a single ounce of sympathy for you…i feel more for Andy, being used and abused emotionally, financially and spiritually. Try walking a mile in his shoes. Try to feel his pain then maybe you will have the guts to let go of something that doesn’t belong to you from the start.

Gays doesnt have to do all the sacrifice and take all the blame from this nasty society we’re in! We have a right to a happy and honest relationship as well.

Babae ka, bakla si Andy, hindi sya maiwanan ng asawa mo. What does that make you?

naawa ako sa babae… isa lang naman ang dapat mong gawin eh. you have to make a choice. Kung pagod kna sa set up nyo (which i think is very wrong) papiliin mo nalang ang asawa mo. Mabuti na yung mag suffer once sa pain kaysa naman na forever mong i endure ang pain. martyr

Dapat ng magdesisyon si Ram.Sana iyong babae ay huwag mag “Cinderella Complex”.

What would you have done if “Andy” was a woman? How would the story turn out? Would it have been worse? Buti nga the complications are far worse different. But then that does not really give you the answers to what you have to go through right now. Just a thought I had after reading your post. If only you knew how to play Andy,….baka mas beneficial pa nga to all of you. Afterall you played the role for 7 years or so now….do you still have anything to lose? If it were not Andy baka iba pa. Would you have survived? At kung ito ay naging babaeng kaagaw mo, would the treatment be any different?
There’s so much to live for Ria,….

it is time to face the truth. both of these selfesh men are gay men who have been manipulating you and your situation. you are the outsider in this scenario. you are partly to blame for having this situation get out of control. let go and move on. it will hurt, yes, but at least you will have your dignity and self-respect back. life is too short, don’t waste it on these two men. you will never have peace and true love in your life if you remain in this impossible triangle.

Doing the right thing is always the hardest thing to do, Its totally wrong for both Andy and Ram to be together knowing that Ria is there. There always a choice on Ria’s part and of course with Ram. Ram has to choice between the two. He cannot have both world all at the same time. There is no such thing as bed of roses. In the end when you do the right thing, that will make you happy completely…I support Ria…

i must admit na naaawa ako kay ria. super martyr! i mean he went all the way to compromise and meet halfway. i was struck when she said “kailan ba natatapos ang utang na loob” kailan nga ba???

Its simple lang. Just ask Ram to make a choice, you or his gay lover. Either way, one is bound to get hurt. Unless you and the gay lover would be happy to continue sharing Ram.

If I were Dan Savage, I’d probably say DTMFA.

If I were Laura Schlesinger, I’d say your stupid.

But I’m jimg29, so I’d say, for the sake of your kids, grow up and stop being a plain housewife and let the two selfish men eat themselves to death. This is the only way you can get your dignity back.

based sa story mo ria, andy helped ram before. was it ram who gave himself to reciprocate andy’s generosity? if andy is really a true friend, he will not be holding on to “utang na loob” to keep ram. if he truly loves him, he should leave ram to make his decision. not only ram but also you have already long paid for the financial debts. 2 nights a week for seven years? you have sacrificed too much already. andy cannot ask any more from you two. maybe going abroad is ram’s way of freeing himself from andy. if ram only keeps andy because of his needs, you are the wife who will have to show you are woman. you do love ram but you seem to have lost faith in yourself to as a woman. stop sacrificing, stop being a martyr, rise up to fight for your love!

…divorce! annulment! separation! whatever it takes for you to moved on, honey!!! that marriage wasn’t really meant to be! coz there’s no thrust in the first place PERIOD! Haller? you might want to consider suing the shit out of him so the court can grant spousal and sibling support to you for the rest of your stupid life! Oops! Hahaha!

…are there a lot of stupid pinays like you over there? Coz can’t you tell the difference between Willie Revillame and Edu Manzano? NO! OMG! Here in America we call them Fag Hags! and Puh-leese honey don’t tell me YOU can’t move on! …You’ll learn!

mga kapatid, proud ako sa inyo dahil sa mga comment ninyo dito!

I know it is easier said done. But if I were you, I would leave RAM. I would not even ask him to choose who shall he go with - me, or Andy.

Your problem is quite complicated, but the solution is only simple. Leave RAM. If you won’t do so, your problem won’t be solved. Ironic no?

Ria, I symphatize with you. Get a life for the sake of your daughters.

I will pray for you.

Oh! The first sentence should have been “IT’S EASIER SAID THAN DONE”.

2 words. leave him.

…the society over there is ssso freakin prehistoric, gay men still hides in a rat hole and pretends that if they get married, their homosexual urges would go away! hahaha! Well it won’t sssSisters! You are what you eat! Tragic reallly if you ask me! hahaha This story is ssso hilarious! I give it 3 Stars!

…go ahead scorn me for telling the Truth! I don’t give a badass fuck! really! …Have you heard the story of the Diva, Liza Minelli? (btw a legend) Well, she’s the quintessential Fag Hag, always drunk with booze she sings “i’m getting married in the morning, Ding Dong! I hope this one is Straight, HIK! Oops! hahaha

…a happy ending though! Peter Allen Liza’s ex became one of the greatest Homosexual ever lived in our planet, wrote many inspiring songs, and his life turned into a successful Broadway Show “Boy from Oz” which I saw the premier in NYC! ain’t that simply Fabulous? 

To give you the best advise, you already did your part Ria, those sacrifices that have wounded you so much…So the thing to do, ultimatum question to your husband Ram, sino ang mahal nya at sino ang gusto nya makasama, di pwedeng kayong dalawa ni Andy..And kung ang pinili nya eh si Andy, then Ria, DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT ang kasagutan.Mahirap pero that’s the only way..Leave him kung si Andy ang pipiliin nya and move on..You deserve someone who you can consider YOUR OWN!!! YUN LANG TALAGA RIA!!! God bless and wish you well..

…maybe you can’t relate to “The Liza Minelli” story, okay fine! …Well, quintessential pinay fag hags? Vilma Santos, Lucy Torres, Kristine Hermosa, to name a few! Oops! like “Whatever” in a LA valley girl accent!

just talk it over, kayong 3 kung pwede, at linawin nyo kung ano ba talaga lugar nyo sa buhay ng isat isa.

its been 7 years. cgro nga its time to set things straight. lalo nang may anak kayo na nagkaka isip na. i dont see anything wrong na maging frends na lang sina ram at andy. pero ang tanong is, would andy understand na he has to let go na because ram is a married man.

if this continues andy might become a home-wrecker. not a very good rep db?

…btw what’s with these tragic women asking our advice on human relationship? first baklang querida and now this! …I don’t get it!!!

…only beauty tips! honey!

manke Ram choose once and for all and be ready for his worst possible answer… if he chosses Andy… move on Girl… youve sacrifices enough..

GOD… that must be really difficult for you… it is actually dificult for me to say something for maybe i still have my biases, but personally if your sick of everything else but still you love him, fight for him and yourself, but i guess, you better stop and quit everything if its all not worth it…

GOD…
that must be really difficult for you…
it is actually dificult for me to say something for maybe i still have my biases,

but personally if your sick of everything else but still you love him, fight for him and yourself, but i guess, you better stop and quit everything if its all not worth it…

tough cookie, ria…

if you really love ram, then fight for him, if he is worth fighting for.

as for andy, helloooo?? mayaman naman siya eh, kumuha na lang siya ng artistang pwede paeskwelahin! ram is not the only nice, tall, handsome and has sense of humor type of guy. go fish naman andy! tamad mo! ganun…

baka si ram din eh naeenjoy sa “set-up” kaya he cant drop it. hehe

world peace na lang nga!

Personally, i dont know why you allowed yourself to be in this situation. You see, there is this thing called self respect and dignity. Without the intention to be judgemental, I think your husband is either using you or the lover or BOTH.

Let the husband be a man enough. Let balance and justice prevail. He can only have 1 - you or the lover. Its a triangle and you know it wont work without someone being hurt.

7 years saka ka umaangal? If i were you and i found out about those two gays, right then and there, split n kagad ako ke Ram. And you cant trust your husband anymore. He’s not for you anymore. LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM LEAVE HIM! Magkarun k naman ng respeto sa sarili mo. napakatagal kaya ng 7 taon. At hindi excuse ng RAM na yan na tumatanaw sya ng utang na loob. siguro nung mga unang bahagi ng relationship nyo puede pa…pero kung 7 taon n yun he’s enjoying the situation and also is in love with andy na rin lalo na kung naging friends muna sila bago naging lovers. may mga nararamdaman sya na hindi nya sinasabi sa yo… siguro naman maganda ka kaya napansin ka rin ni ram kasi kung ganun sya kagwapo titingin lang sya sa magaganda lalo ng kung may “tendency” sya. may makukuha ka pang lalaki na magpapahalaga sa yo…leave him while you dont have yet those wrinkled face. baka malay mo merong gwapo at MAYAMAN na mahulog sa yo…so leave him kahit wag ka ng magpaalam. ang sarap ng feeling ng walang problema… wrinkled-free face honey!

i symphatize with ria

your in a really bard situation,

first and foremost pray, God will give you the correct path.

second, if you really love ram fight for your love, and that same goes for ram. your love will be your guidance

third, andy andy andy if you can stomach to destroy a family then i pity you for your selfishness and cowardice.

i don’t believe in “utang na loob”, its for people who are manipulative and self-centered

may God give you guidance and peace of mind. be strong not only for ram and yourself but for your children.

mare manlalaki ka rin para fair ang labanan. Di na ngayon uso ang martir. madami pang str8 guys jan na mamahalin ka ng walang kahati..yun lang.

it’s not right to use the kids as an excuse to be in a relationship. if ram decides to go, then i guess you have your answer. i think it’s not case of “utang na loob”… i’d say somehow ram feels something for andy as well, and when he finally had an excuse to do so… he just gave in to andy.

the relationship you’re in is not healthy, especially for your kids. they will eventually grow up and they’ll be wise enough to find out about situation.

let andy have your “man”, and find a real man of your own.

i was rather offended that she thinks that “we”‘d tell her to give ram to andy.. is it just because we’re gay?? gah..

anyway.. you could always try legal measures.. get a restraining order or something..

but before you do that you, of course, have to talk with your husband.. tell him that it bothers you.. hurts you even.. it doesn’t matter that there is a possibility that he already knows.. you have to voice it out..

personally, i think it’s impossible for you to continue with the setup.. and from what you tell me Ram doesn’t really like it so much either.. you have to give each other strength.. you have to go through this together..

and if he insists that he can’t leave Andy, i think it’s time for you to think twice about your relationship..

It might be that Ram is also gay and that’s why he’s having a hard time decide in leaving Andy. So it could be more than just paying one’s utang-na-loob.

But, got a question dear, are you sure that if your husband leaves sugar daddy, he’d be loyal to you and not find another sweeter daddy?

Mga bakla talaga home-wrecker…

Sorry bakla din pala ako.

Award! Migs you should be more decerning in posting lovingly yours letters.. as pointed out, why would a mother of 2 read manilagayguy. Kudos to who ever wrote this! But the storyline has been done over and over again already in our sappy airwaves. How about writing about a transgendered boy contemplating on reverting back his sex change? Now thats an idea! (again nothing original)

Ria.
I was so touched with your story, and I must admit your a tough woman… Sharing what is yours, especially your husband to a gay lover is an extraordinary act. But dear, now is the time for you to wake up. If you really love Ram, go and fight for your right. Your marriage with him is a bond made by the blessing of God. Until when are you going to close you eyes amidst the reality that is happening in your life. Life isn’t all a world of fantasy. Face the problem. Yes I am a gay but I must not agree on what this gay lover of your husband is doing. Generosity must come within the heart of every person. It must not seek anything in return because if this would be the case, this would seem to be selfishness. Andy lost his rights on Ram by the time you and your husband built your home.Though it hurts, Andy must know his bounderies… and accept the reality that Ram has his own family to nurture. Let not Andy ruin your marriage and you ruin your marriage by leaving Ram. All you can do is talk sincerely to Ram. Let him know what you feel, what you desire, what you plan… everythintg…..

Ria, believe me when I say this, It is not other people who would save your marriage, your family… the success of your family lies on your hand. act before its too late… hold on and pray….

I wish you all the best. God bless! I know God will carry you and give you strenght. Fight girl….. text me girl 09279709902… i have more advice to give…

i was just about to say compromise, but when i read that there was asredy a sharing setup. i decide not to. moreover ram should make the choice…
if he is a true man or a gay-guy…
a choice between yu and andy.
it will all depend on ram

ulitin ko lang h. may mg typo errors kc. hehe. xenxa na….
i was just about to advice compromise, but when i read that there was already a sharing setup. i decided not to. moreover ram should make the choice…
if he is a true man or a gay-guy…
a choice between you and andy.
it will all depend on ram

Ria, although I’m gay, I can say say that Andy is very very inconsiderate.I sympathize with you because of your children.

I advise you to talk to your husband about his sexuality. Discuss with him what he really feels for you and what he also really feels for Andy. Then, decide what you really want to happen with the relationship.

Also, I highly recommend you to get a lawyer for yourself. Anyway, I think that you have all the rights on Ram since you’re married with him.

it’s been 7 years and ram can’t leave andy? leave him! he has become gay. both he and andy deserve each other.

Girl, i believe hindi ikaw ang may problema, it’s your husband. Until when will he be dependent on ram for financial gains? He should think, and have the strength to stand on his own. hindi lang ikaw ang dapat nyang isipin but your kids as well. hindi sya mabibigyan ng anak ng pera ni andy. i’m sure lahat ng binigay ni andy kay ram, may kapalit na yun. kaya patas lang.

hindi kaya, your husband is also gay? have you considered this situation?

and as for andy, your rich kayang-kaya mong kumuha ng iba pang lalaki. i envy you though i don’t know you. so please, don’t be a home wrecker. do you want to be remembered as the one who broke a family? marami naman dyan. artista or even models. with your money, kahit sino makukuha mo.

Ria, there are many advice given already so I might just be repeating someone else’s view. But I’ll go ahead and say this: open relationships only work if ALL parties involved are comfortable with the arrangement. Now that your stance has changed, it is time to end it. You need to ask Ram to choose. Forget about the past - indebtedness, previous usapans, etc. They should have no bearing from here on out. Continuing on will only turn you bitter. Make Ram choose but be prepared to accept that he might not choose you. So be smart and ask for alimony and child support (even though it will come from Andy). I do sympathize with you and hope for your happiness, with or without Ram. Take care of yourself and your child.

i just found it weird. geez. i told this story to my girl friend and i was quite surprised that she took the side of andy. haha..akong bading eh for ria and then siyang girl eh for andy?? weirdie..

neway, saya…love reading the other comments. proud ako sa atin. especially those who’ve seen ria as the victim here. its very clear nman eh. i deeply feel for her tlga. shit this andy kc..

Ria mahirap talaga pag utang na loob ang pinag-uusapan, i know mahirap yan. Go to priest both of you for counselling. Pray hard ria.

sounds like me….another Andy. I did everything i could to destroy their relationship. i would intentionally do things that would hurt the girl to make her go away. i’d kiss my guy when he’s asleep so to leave marks on his neck. i’d spray my cologne on my guy’s stuff before he gets home. there had been times when i sent text messages on his phone to mine, messages that would make the girl real jealous. saying things that aren’t true like how he adores me so much, more than the girl and that he couldnt live without me i knew that she scours through his stuff looking for damning evidence. and who’s she kidding? when she’s known it all along. when i felt that she was winning, i dumped the guy under false pretense, befriended the girl and made everything looked so genuine. then i watch how things unfold…my way. they were made to believe that i was moving on without the guy. i knew this would make him feel inadequate and unloved. he’s gay or somewhat gay, whatever they call it i don’t care. all i cared was him crawling back to me. inspite of his self deception that fosters illusions of being 100 % straight, he’s still a cock sucking man who happens to..i hate to admit this but ..he happens to love a girl. authentic. but this did not prevent me from devising a series of conniving trickery down to its soul. eventually I trumped her. i’m not proud of many things i’ve done. it is what it is. just take whatever you can. moving forward, the girl got married to another guy. she just had another baby and i was told she’s now happy. she’s recovering and moving on. i hurt her, intentionally. i don’t think i can, i wish i had self dignity to move on. what’s more to say now that he’s mine.

i dont think RHIA is the victim here. She accepted everything in the first place and thats because she loves Ram so much.

As for me, RHIA if you are no longer happy then do whatever it is that will make you happy. Remember some good things never last. Cheers!

i was a querid(o) once and i knew how it felt. rollercoaster and all…aj is right. be selfish. be strong. be ready. tell ram to make up his mind. you deserve the best in this world.

naiyak ako sa story na ito.
bakit kaya.
patay tayo dyan.
nakaka relate yata ako.

i’m a girl, married with 2 kids, and my husband is straight i believe. and, i’m a big fan of mgg. i love the wits of the people here. =)
just to answer some of those asking what is ria doing here.

Andy gives gay guys a bad name.

Nilamon na kayo ng sistema. In our society, money doesn’t only talk, it also enslaves. In our supposedly equal society, the oligarchs still have control and biting power. pati ba naman love nabibili na?

ang utang na loob ay utang na LOOB. nasa loob mo lang. walang kapalit. kahit katawan. kahit gapatak ng pawis hindi required. ang utang na loob binibigay ng kusang LOOB at binabayaran ng maluwag sa LOOB. hindi nakakasakit ng iba. not at the expense other people.

What Andy did was an abuse of his position of wealth and Ram’s position of helplessness.

Ram doesn’t have balls.

And Ria, why did you agree in the first place? You had kids. How do you think are you gonna explain this to them?

The victims are the kids. Poor kids.

You three adults were the ones who made this decision. You made this whole mess up. I’m sure you know what the right thing to do is. And this time, before you make any decision, think about the kids.

Like almost everyone else who posted above, I can relate to this - this is almost my story as well.

I once faced the dilemma of either letting go the one I love, or fight for what I’m feeling. Letting go can mean selflessness, loving unconditionally, but it can also mean having feelings not strong enough that you were unable to fight for it. I chose to fight for what I felt. I chose to make my own destiny - with him.

Unfortunately for my case, he fought for the other “him”, he chose his own destiny as well - a destiny without me.

If you truly love someone, be strong. It’s worth the fight. It’s worth the pain. The best way to love oneself is to love others - that’s what I’ve learned from my experience. I was happy that I was able to make him feel loved. The joy it brought was too much, that if it is compared to the pain of us breaking up, “may sukli pa”. Even now that he’s not with me, I still continually love him, without the assurance of getting loved back, without getting anything in return, like one of those stories in the Bible read to us by our Religion teacher during grade school. Love doesn’t have to be two-way, but in anytime love has been reciprocated, it is a blessing one must forever be thankful for.

Ria has her reasons, so does Andy. It’s all on Ram. I don’t really buy that it is just “utang na loob” that chains Ram to Andy. Ram is being selfish. Or maybe, afraid of the consequences with losing one of you. Hopefully, he’d stumble upon light and finally decide the path he will be taking. Good luck, Ria ^^

there is one reality you have to face before making your husband make a choice between his family and the man he owes a debt of gratitude to: are you financially independent to be able to live through your decision, because in the end, this is not about him or his lover, but you.

a man - who projects himself as a happy husband and a loving father - and yet holds a relationship for 7 years with another man is carrying on with the relationship not because he owes that man a debt of gratitude, but because he has deep affections for that man, and enjoys the tangible and intangible benefits of the relationship. i believe that it is your husband’s choice to stick it out with his gay lover and not you. i am certain that if you leave him, he will go after you and pretend that he has left his lover. but you will find out that he really hasn’t, after you go back to him.

the fact that he is maintaining two relationships reveals an innate selfishness in his character. and selfish people need a figurative bitch-slap to awaken them to the harsh and difficult realities in their lives.

bottomline: attain financial independence, gather evidence against your husband and his lover, and file for annulment, making sure that you get him by the balls: you get custody and most if not all of your common properties.

life’s a bitch, and you married two.

SPELLCHECK !!! Look for a “real” man sista and move on with your life… no crying over spilled milk …

in fernez…ang gagaling mag payo ng mga bakla!!!

go!!go!! bakla!!!
pag bakla talaga matatalino!!!!

ria.,
ur situation is very complicated.,
i am rome and have a relationship with a guy who is married also and have 2 boys.,

my impression at first was thinking of getting this man from his wife just to test up to where i can.,

but i also love the guy we’ve been in a relationship for almost 2 years now and i know that her wife also knows that coz i even stay at their place and even stay in their room with his husband.

i would feel the same way if ill be in ur case.,

but the thing is above messages are correct.,

ram is your’s there is even a paper which can proove that., and aside from that you got 2 beatigul girls form him., meaning that ram has been commited for you and for your kids.,

ria., all you have to do is to make a decision., and always think of your spouse’s too.,

it would be a great idea if he will leave., coz that will somewhat leave a point in their relationship.,.,

on the other hand., if ram will decide to stay with andy., its his choice ., but you have to decide on your own too.,

ria.,
, utang na loob is really a bullshit thing., it will never end.

you just have to extend your patience
and always ask above’s guidance and knowledge so ull be able to think whats the right thing to do.,

minsan kasi there are situations that as much as we want to avoid., we cant!!

and if that happens we always look for the easiest way that can solve it but although we know there are risks in taking that we often disregard that.,

these are the risks that test ram.

i hope ull be strenghten.,

ria ur a girl not a gay!

…frankly! this incredible melodrama doesn’t happen in real life! Not in this day and age! …we all fell for it! tsk tsk tsk!

…imagine Andy suddenly tasting Rufina Patis on his favorite “Vienna Sausage” like ….eeeeeeeuuuuuuU! mouthwash quick! Oops!

Ria, binabaril sa Luneta ang mga martir.

The more kasi na you let this issue linger, the more it will consume you.

It should not be that complicated.

Huwag mong isipin na bading ang “kalaban” mo, it’s totally immaterial.

Do what you think and feel is right for you and your family.

Accept the consequences and move on with your life, whether it is with Ram or not.