“Dirty Old Gay Men”
I was at the NBC Tent last night — yes, watching the Provoq men gyrate in their skimpiest you’d think there was a shortage of clothing in Metro Manila. It was my friend Tony who bought me a ticket while I was away last week (thanks Tony!) and he was beaming when we met up at The Fort right before the show, “according to the guy who sold me the VIP tickets, you’d think it will be the matronas and old rich gay men who are buying the VIP tickets — but the profile of those who have bought is actually more of the yuppie types.”
That echoed what I read from the prolific blogger rddantes of the famous Men In The Philippines blog. I thought, either it’s some marketing blurb, or it’s true. Something to confirm, and perhaps get excited about.
So there we were last night, at the VIP section of the tent, and as I scanned, rubber-necked and eyeballed the other folks around the area, I chided Tony, “what yuppies are you talking about?! These guys are double our age!” It was a perfect testament to the cliche, “jokes are half meant.”
While there were some who were perhaps in our same generation, a good majority of the guys in the VIP area were pretty much “senior.” One particular guy who sat in the couch, if my guess is right, must be beyond his 50’s, with white hair and hands gnarled by years clutching the Provoq magazine. I was thinking out loud when I told Tony, pointing to the guy, “I don’t want to be like him when I get old.”
Tony reminded me, “judgmental ka ha! What’s the problem with an old guy watching a show like this?”
That somehow led me to deep thinking. So while Johnron Tanada, Chester Nolledo, and Harry Laurel strutted their packed black thongs on stage I was thinking about Tony’s comment. I thought that perhaps I was keeping a deep-seated and unconscious bias against old gay men, against these “Dirty Old Gay Men”? I like challenging myself this way because it broadens my thinking. And so as Chester reached down the floor on stage, dancing to some thumping music, his butt crack reveals a wee bit more enough for the audience to gasp as if in unison — there I was, half ogling, half in deep thought, “why did I not want to be like this ‘Dirty Old Gay Man’?”
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August 11th, 2007 at 11:59 am
Because you have loftier goals than that.
What I was trying to get at when I said don’t be judgemental, was just don’t look down upon these older gay men for still doing what they like (ie. watching young men bare it all). Who knows, their private life might not be what most people assume it would be (ie. “preying” on young men).
I just didn’t want us to ride that stereotype.
Is it definitely ok to set high goals for when you are 50 and above. I just want that goal to be more than “I don’t want to be a dirty old gay man”.
August 11th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
You are judgemental at times Migs, as we all are in different situations. But we do have our own reasons and defense for it. And we would only know that certain reactions are meant once we get there.
Para palang”Sex in the city” ito. Idol mo cguro si Carrie Bradshaw…hihihi…
‘love her!!
Peace.
August 11th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
I don’t want to be a dirty old gay man either. But let’s face it. They have sex too. I think the KEY word here is discretion. As one ages, one should do so with dignity. You really shouldn’t go to those types of events in a public place at that age. Why not just have the guy come to your place??? Then again, who am I to judge? Enjoy life while you can.
August 11th, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Let’s face it, being gay means celebrating young men. The fact that people would stage shows featuring the Men of Provoq and make money from it is testament to that fact. Would you go if it were called the Veterans of Provoq show? Even if they would give 20% off if you present your senior citizen card?
August 11th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
ayokong maging matandang kulubot. at higit sa lahat ayokong mag amoy lupa. mamatay na ako, pero ayoko talagang magmukhang katauhang ng isang librong niluma ng panahon. when i get old, i want to look jolly still, have smooth skin, have nice well maintained hair cut, slim still with very minimal flabs, still erect and straight posture, complete white teeth, wear nice plain polo shirt. sa ngayon, nakakatakot yung mga hitsura ng old gay men, na kung makokorner ka nila sa isang sulok ng mall e mukhang rereyp-in ka nila, at uubusin ang lakas mo hanggang sa macomatose ka, nakakatakot grabeh!
August 11th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
hi there, i was there i dont even know the difference of VIP and not. the show was not that good.
August 11th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
i even heard joel lamangan’s side comment “hindi maganda, walang buhay” i cant blame him for being so honest.
August 11th, 2007 at 7:15 pm
i want to get old with sex appeal still… charlang!
August 11th, 2007 at 8:25 pm
San makikita ung pics from the event?
August 11th, 2007 at 8:36 pm
what does the future hold for guys like us?
what will life be like when we do reach 50, 60, 70?
August 11th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
iwas der to, i agree mga thyndrts nga ang andun, indeed ang pagiging bading walang sini-sinu…
August 11th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
i guess aging gracefully applies to plu’s as well.
August 12th, 2007 at 12:24 am
It’s because when gay guys get old, they start becoming sexually undesirable to the younger set. Well, it applies to the breeders as well. I don’t think this societal attitude will ever change. Also, getting old means a reminder that mortality is inevitable. Who wants to accept that death will eventually happen?
August 12th, 2007 at 1:18 am
ageing is inevitable, that’s the reason why we are called to act accordingly.
i guess as we age, we have to realize that we are not a mere commodity, there’s more to life that we can offer.
August 12th, 2007 at 2:04 am
it is all relative. since you guys are in your thirties already and the young men you are ogling are only in their very early twenties; for these young men, you guys are already the “dirty old gay men”.
August 12th, 2007 at 2:04 am
not just bec they’re old, and they’re indulging in the same worldliness that you are enjoying means that they’re automatically “dirty,” right?
On the other hand, I also can not see myself getting old (like hitting 40). It’s bec I just can’t, so yeah, I do understand a little bit of what you’re saying.
August 12th, 2007 at 2:33 am
i completely disagree with rabbit. being gay is not about celebrating young men. this would further celebrate the idea that youth is synonymous with beauty.
besides, gay men’s lives is not just about other men. gay men are also sons, brothers, uncles, fathers, employees, employers, freelancers, writers, readers, etc.
August 12th, 2007 at 8:45 am
whatever Niko Arellano was hot.
August 12th, 2007 at 11:56 am
Kawawa naman ang mga may eded nang mga bayots. I know one who s already 61 but stl looks vwery much young than his actual age. every time ppl come to know of his real age they cld not blieve he’s that old, and very much able too, can hike long distances, carry heavy weights, do a lot of exercise and most of all, madatung. Kaya wag naman ninyong lalaitin ang mga gurang, dahil papunta rin kayo jan definitely, baka maranasan din ninyo ang mga panlalait na ginagawa ninyo sa mga gurang na mga bayots. Peace!!!
August 12th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
i don’t want to judge them kasi most likely, most of us will reach that stage….yea that stage na tayo namana ang lalaitin.
anyways, if u are old na, dapat stop na u from all those worldly stuff. dapat iba an ang focus mo dahil malapit ka na pumanaw sa mundo…seriously, why not involve yourself into charities or civic or environmental causes? para maging productive living creature of planet earth ka in the last days of your life at para matuwa naman si Lord.
pero i have one things when it comes to having a relationship with another man (older or younger than you are)…if it is there is a reciprocated love involved, then go on because i always believe that “love is so damn great” that it cannot be confined within or restricted by any norms or rules created by any societies or congregations of men.
kudos to everyone.
August 12th, 2007 at 6:14 pm
i agree with antonella. nasa nagdadala, as the locals put it. i’m in my 40’s but people say i don’t look it. there are gay men in their 20s and 30s who either look
old(er) or don’t look good at all–shapeless bodies, bad skin, bad clothes sense. but let’s face it, there really are old gay men who have just, shall we say, “forgotten” to take care of themselves and now embody the stereotype of the predatory dirty old gay. (shame, of course.) the bottom line is–all gay men, closeted, discreet or otherwise, will age. when your times comes, you will find yourself labeled “old gay man.”
August 12th, 2007 at 9:22 pm
projection! that’s what it is. we are projecting our worries to dirty old men because at the end of the day we will be like them. no matter how much nivea, no 7 or any serum we pump of our skin, we will age like all living things would be. we only differ in how fast our face wrinkles. so let us celebrate ageing because that’s our future. those who can’t accept it are obviously not having a good life while they are still younger because they cannot face the future with acceptance and gratitude. or perhaps their version good life has only been limited to sex and vanity. what a pity!
August 12th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
‘niyeta! akala mo naman di tatanda ang mga tao dito. lahat kayo in denial. hala sige magpakasarap kayo para at least pag-tanda niyo di ko na kayo makikitang pipila sa NBC Tent for watch Provoq Version 10001. niyahahahahaha!
hmmmm .. friendship pala kayo ni tony lobster …
walang kakupas-kupas at di tumatanda,
anton maton
August 12th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
honey, your slip is showing, methinks. i honestly applaud our ‘lolas’for their chutzpah and joie de vivre.oweno naman kung di na kinaya ng olay total effects ang reality at gravity? the point is they are still around and loving it. just remember my dears, they were probably thinking the same things when they were our age. at pasasaan pa ba, iisa lang ang patutunguhan, kanyakanyang kendeng at hakbang lang. cheers!
August 13th, 2007 at 1:14 am
But I don’t think the apprehension here is about looks, wrinkles, or gray hair. It’s about the act. Of course it’s okay to grow old, but what we aren’t keen on is the idea of already being age 50-60 and still needing (wanting?) to see such shows.
The assumption is that at these ages, one would have better, more meaningful, and worthwhile things to attend to. Or someone.
Ahh, but then one realizes that these men lived a different kind of youth than we are having now. They didn’t have manilagayguy.com then. Gay sexuality wasn’t as open as it is now. So, I guess, they’re just having their fill of that worldliness, that sex, that they never had the chance to enjoy.
August 13th, 2007 at 2:17 am
i think i should start a shirt print campaign or sell one (cashing) with bold letters “I WAS DER in CRUISE show 2007″ hehehe. D fact dat i was there also was more of an experience and partly, i really am a fan of d PROVOQ men. Sayang again migs, sana u should have invited CC along!
i always told my self, i dont want to grow old (paging fountain of youth!)… Sana kunin na ko ni Lord b4 i reached 60 (deathwish) hehehe. i also bought dat souvenir mag and em posting some of its pix in my blog!
Shalom!
August 13th, 2007 at 7:50 am
i think its because being old (not to mention being an old gay) is synonymous to being alone…
August 13th, 2007 at 9:05 am
Mga ineng, harapin ang realidad na lahat ng bakla ay sa pagtanda din ang punta. Walang masama doon at lalong hindi nakakahiya ang tumanda. Mas nakakahiya yung tumatanda ng walang pinagkatandaan.
Huwag masyadong mang husga at alipustain ang matatandang bakla dahil diyan din ang punta niyo pwera na lang kung pagdating mo ng edad 40 ay kumuha ka ng lubid, itali sa leeg at isabit ang sarili sa isang mataas na puno (at siguraduhin lang na matibay ang pagkakasabit).
Ang pinakamainan na gawin ay maghanda. Tandaaan ang tatlong bagay na dapat pahalagan: youth, time and true love. Huwag sayangin.
At higit sa lahat mag-ipon ka at nang sa gayon kung kulubot na ang iyong balat, puti na ang buhok at mahina na ang tuhod ay may sapat kang pera para mag-organize ng sarili mong provoq show at hindi okray-okrayin ng kapwa tukling.
August 13th, 2007 at 10:30 am
[…] a photo I took of Harry Laurel, the newest Provoq hunk, at the backstage of Cruise. With Harry is my friend […]
August 13th, 2007 at 5:19 pm
dirty old gay man - lecherous, maniacal… out to harass sexually. its but natural NOT to want to be that kind of gay man, migs!
but to label an old gay man ‘dirty’ because you were together at the VIP section of Provoq? hmmm that may be a bit too much
i guess your framework of aging gracefully is being able to sublimate sexual desire for loftier, nobler ideals. and watching Provoq is not one of them.
yeah, migs, why didnt you invite me to this (as josh mentioned)???
August 13th, 2007 at 5:49 pm
I think this proves a theory I used to debate with my girl friend in college. The theory goes something like this: “It is when we are in our libido-inducing state that the most profound human thoughts come to our senses.”
What do u say, Migs?
=)
August 13th, 2007 at 6:43 pm
Basta may asim at may elya pa, GO! Inggit lang yan sa mga matatandang nakaka bingwit ng bagets. Kanya kanyang eksena yan sa buhay, kung afford mo naman ang magkaroon ng NGO to support the youth pwera dyuts!
August 13th, 2007 at 8:16 pm
Has anyone heard Avenue Q? Everyone’s a little bit racist.
I think that goes with the unconscious fear that we’re become something else. The stereotype, dirtly old man (gay or otherwise) shows a life lacking in truly intimate connections.
Peter Pan.
Not that I enjoy the idea of going old (for with it comes the other things, pain, memory loss, nostalgia, and yes death) but in getting there there must be something in me. Maybe my true self, that’s worthwhile, that I won’t have to “buy and sell” anymore.
Oh well.
August 14th, 2007 at 6:37 am
i wonder if you are aware of REALITY migs? that YOU WILL AGE LIKE THE REST OF HUMANITY, the earlier you accept this fact (with your PLU) the better is the transition.
August 14th, 2007 at 8:05 am
as Manay Ricky Reyes has smartly put it - walang ng hihigit pang nakaka-awa ang maging isang mahirap at matandang bakla.
At yung mga old gays na nasa VIP, good for them dahil me pera silang pambili ng ticket, eh paano naman yung mga batang bayot na umaasa sa libre, sila ang mas kawawa.
August 14th, 2007 at 10:40 am
AMNE to that Mickey…kaya huwag mang husga agad. I think it’s non of our business whatever these (they say) “dirty old gays” do with their lives. Parepareho lang naman din ang hinahanap natin…sex (or men) totoo kang, mabuti pa nga sila at may pinagkatandaan at cgurado na sa buhay nila. Tayong younger ones, how sure r we of what will come in the future for us??? Wag dapat ipagmalaki na maganda ka ngayon dahil pagtanda mo gaano ka man kaganda nung bata ka pa mag pabanat ka man ng ilang beses magkakakulubot ka rin. Baka mas masahol pa!!!
August 15th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Madami yatang oldies ang manilagayguy.com… many of the comments are soooo defensive!
August 19th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
hello i just want to share my point of view, i think we dont need to judge this guys because who knows what their past lives is. And who knows maybe they are deprived of this kind of things and in this years this is their chance to compensate with these things that they are deprived of. un lng dont judge them hehehe!
*** by the way im not a dirty old gay 18 years old lang ako hehehe!***
thank you sa site n toh ang cute ng mga guys specially harry chua and arvi encelan mwaaah!
September 3rd, 2007 at 12:08 am
thats normal. Right now here in the philippines when you say Bakla you think of guys wearing makeup, malanding kumilos at may kasamang mga tropang bakla. Tulad na lang ng mga nagbibinaklang mga bata. na todo makeup at naninitsit at sumisigaw ng pachupa! pachupa! haha! sabi ko sa sarili ko ayokong maging ganyan or maassociate sa kanila. meron din akong nakitang matandang bakla sa amin na parlorista naawa ako sa kanya kasi wala na siyang buhok at talagang itsurang lolo na siya, naghihigh heels pa rin todo makeup at pandamit babae. parang si markova? sabi ko rin sa sarili ko pag tanda ko ayokong maging katulad nila. Gusto ko pag tumanda ako may mga anak at apo ako na makikita ko hanggang sa akoy mamatay. Try to think about it in the future?