Do you make the first move?

Here is an interesting conversation piece I managed to use in a recent date: in a bar or similar environment, when you spot a guy that tickles your fancy, do you make the first move (meaning, you approach the guy and introduce yourself) or do you wait to be approached (maybe signal a smile but stay put and wait)? My date and I had such an interesting conversation around it that I thought maybe we can use it as another point of colorful discussion among us here in MGG. Do you make the first move? Or do you wait to be approached? How has been your experience?

In Ramone Johnson’s blog, he says:

Making the first move is a bold step; yet one that gets easier after each approach. A vast majority of guys like to be the ones hit on first: It shows confidence on the part of the one making the first move and it eases the tensions of possible rejection. The probability of rejection is far less when a guy is the one approached, as opposed to the other way around. And the probability of finding a man increases when you take the initiative instead of sitting back and waiting for them to approach you first. [Source]

Share your thoughts, and regale us with your stories of “approaching” or “being approached” — what do you recommend? you make the first move?  digg:Do you make the first move?  spurl:Do you make the first move?  newsvine:Do you make the first move?  furl:Do you make the first move?  reddit:Do you make the first move?  fark:Do you make the first move?  Y!:Do you make the first move?


Possibly Related Entries:

31 Responses to “Do you make the first move?”

  1. ryen Says:

    I wait to be approached… I have been waiting for 21 years. Could I be too intimidating or too goodlooking for them? HAHAHA.. Oh wait, I’m supposedly straight.

  2. James Says:

    Approached. Nuff said. Mahiyain ako talaga + this unexplainable feeling of fear, siguro confidence issues…


    I might approach one, waiting could be exhausting. :-)

  3. Jedd Says:

    I’d make moves if I could. Them boys get at me too fast! HAHA

  4. Mimi Says:

    i haven’t tried approaching any potential target, and i haven’t experienced being approached..sob….i just have so much insecurities…Mga mare, help me!!!

  5. Mikee Says:

    Approach! D2 sa amin, ciempre ikaw mag a-approach, panu mo malalaman kung pwede siya kung hindi mo lalapitan o tatanungin. Tapos, un na! Tapos PAY! Pag walang pay, edi Ganda lang ang puhunan mo …

  6. Jedd Says:

    On a more serious note though, ‘movements’ go in two directions. PUSH and PULL. Some men make moves by asking their man out on dates, asking for their phone number, explicitly commenting on how great he looks or whatever, for example. Some men, on the other hand, make their move by putting themselves out there. See a guy you like? Step into his sights, be attractive, do something he’ll notice, make yourself irresistible.. It’s not as explicit but it’s still the same principle. So you may think you’ve just been waiting there your entire life, but you’ve actually been on the prowl all this time. :)

  7. ariel Says:

    i’ll do the first move, pag pumiglas or ayaw…aba eh datungan mo kaagad!

  8. fratboi02 Says:

    i have never tried making the first move…although, i get tempted…i never did. luckily enouhg, the same person wants me too so i get to snag the guy without seeming to be too agressive. although there was this one time…i was interested with a guy who attended a friends party…all night we were talking to sets of friends and whenever we catch a glimpse of each other, we smile. finally, when i saw him alone…i just stood up at the place where i was standing and i was mustering enough courage to approach the guy. minutes later, someone approached my dreamboat already and they left the place together.
    sigh…i wish it was me. i just have a problem with approaching men! hahaha! i wanna be approached because i want to do the rejecting not receive the rejection! =D

  9. glamorosa Says:

    hay, bakit kaya ang mga bading kapag nakakaramdam ng rejection, pera agad ang naiisip na ipangtapat!? Pano na ang mga lola nating walang pera? Ang sagot ng iba, GANDA lang yan! Hmn…in a way masarap sa kalooban lalo na kapag nagegets mo ang isang lalake nang walang andang kapalit. Eh pano naman ang mga baklang walang ganda? hahaha, well jan naman lalabas ang pagiging malikhain at madeskarte ng isang bading, dahil ang isang bakla, once na may nagustuhan, gagawa at gagawa ng paraan makamit lamang ang inaasam na kaligayahan.. do you agree? :)

  10. peppoi Says:

    I approach first, I feel weird if approached….

  11. justanotherfratboyinthecloset Says:

    @jedd: nicely put. I myself am always on the prowl, but not as an obvious predator but more of a devious venus flytrap. And more often than not, they do get the bait. Its easier this way, as one would always have the upper hand if he was the one being approached. You get to call the shots, and you get to have what you want. Of course my being devious ends when I’ve already caught my fish. My guard goes down and my innocent shy look takes control.
    And yes, everyone fears rejection, though some can treat it noncholantly as they can go to another to prey upon, but some aren’t as adventurous, whose rare moments include eyeing someone they trully like… eyeing them not just for one night… for a lifetime…

  12. leo Says:

    I just flash my winsomest smile, something which they can not refuse taking notice. Hahahahaha!

  13. James Says:

    I guess everyone here wants to be approached. What if there are more gay men who wants to be approached, they’ll be waiting in eternity for that special someone. Making the first move is requires great courage, I guess rejection is just normal. Risky but you will never if its worth it until you’ve tried it.

    Happy hunting! :-)

  14. James Says:

    Risky but you will never *know if its worth it until you’ve tried it.

    Happy hunting! :-)

  15. eponine Says:

    i approach. it’s actually very scary for me to make the first move. it’s not really a fear of rejection, but the uncertainty if i’d receive an insult or a good pacman punch on the face. anyway, i try to be as polite as i can para di masindak ang prey este prospect ko. i think that’s the best way i can flatter him.

  16. chuchucaracas Says:

    basta epek sa zipper ang tapek period

  17. daemoneyes Says:

    i never approach (and never have been approached)… in my case, i think most people will find me physically unattractive… harsh on myself, but true… i think… so being rejected publicly is just suicide…

    sad to say, that there are people who will never know me… really know me… they will just have the impression that i am this lowly guy who isn’t worthy to be in their presence …

    * low confidence? * i really dont know, its just that im saying what has happened to me or what hasnt…

  18. Vinz Says:

    In a bar environment, I rarely approach and usually I’m the one approached. While the idea of rejection is quite scary so much so that I don’t like approaching, getting approached is also scary: if you don’t fancy the guy, it can get quite awkward. (I’ve also gotten the “my friend would like to meet you” tactic… doubly awkward.)

    But after a recent incident, I resolved to be less torpe and try to be more confident. :-p

  19. ardyey Says:

    Its really scary especially pag nauna na yun thinking na matuturn down ka but ive tried it once.. cutie na married.. ayun with the help of alcohol, i won… it happened pa for several occassion, it means hindi sya alcohol… may laman din yun mga pangayayari… well nabuking ng lover ko kaya ayun stop and of course forget na… its a illicit affair ika nga… so getting steady and no more fling fling… libog lang sya.. in the end your not really happy, iba pa rin yun true love… x

  20. Mikey_Liling Says:


    Dalagang Pilipina itu. Bow.

  21. jimg29 Says:

    always be discreet and handy for some ass wise joke if ever you want 2 approach the person u just met. take advantage of every given situations. EYE CONTACT is very essential if there would be ‘electrical current’ between the two of you.

    the first time I met my boyfreng…I simply asked him what part of Poland was he from…North or South Pole? and the rest was etched into Polish Revolution!!

  22. tobby Says:

    pareho…depende sa mood

  23. perezhilton Says:

    yo jimg29! when you approached the hottt polish dude in the club …did he ask you what kinda beer he wants? and bring some extra napkins and pretzels. you’re funny

  24. iloveboom Says:

    i will only make the first move only if the guy is worth it : rejection or a hit…

  25. londoner Says:

    I never approach any guys they ‘re the one who approaches me. True. Just be yourself and smile always.

  26. jimg29 Says:

    i’d like to share more but lola migs censors this site like parental guidance only to attain her excelence in bloggerdom LOL

  27. Glenn Says:

    it all depends kung type ko talaga yung guy, i would really make the move. bahala na kung mapahiya. at least di ako uuwi ng luhaan dahil hindi ako nag try. pero kung hindi siya e.b. like as friend mo na ang gusto mo, siguro, pasimple na lang…. baka sakaling ma-get niya yung hint. hehehehe…. pero kung di ko type, forget it na lang. antayin ko na lang siya mag move.

  28. Ray Says:

    I always do the approaching if I see someone interesting. I think guys like the compliment and it gives them a little boost.

  29. Kabul Guy Says:

    It will depends, if u make a second glance and he smiles back on you - then there is a chemistry, His also initerested and migth as well do the first move but not totally obvuse. Get closer to where he is and perhaps he will respond then. The rest is up to you to lighten up the conversations.

  30. blue_harajuku Says:

    i prefer to be approached… but i do sometimes make the first move…

  31. Wilberchie Says:

    Approached… I’m kind of a you-need-to-approach-me-so-I-would-talk-to-you-if-I-don’t-know-you type of person

Leave a Reply

WordPress Lightbox JS by Zeo