Patience is one of the hardest things to learn in life, especially while building relationships. It’s known that gay relationships mature at an accelerated rate, often much faster than relationships between straight couples. Nonetheless, one thing heteros and homos have in common is the time it takes to find the right mate. (lifted from Take Your Time While Building Gay Relationships by Ramone Johnson, About.com) Along these lines, let me share something quite personal here. I’m recently “singled” from a 3-year relationship which I took very seriously. As soon as some people got to know about my separation, there is this friend who started to invite me out. Let’s call him Archie.
I’ve known Archie for more than 4 years already, and we’ve been quite comfortable with each other as friends. Even while he worked abroad, we still remained in contact. Now that we’re both in Manila, and as mentioned, when I separated from my ex, Archie started to send signals. Not subtle signals. In one of those text conversations, talking about when we can meet for dinner, this SMS exchange occurred:
Archie: Migs, naisip ko lang, what is the point of dating kung di rin lang magiging tayo? It will just hurt me more!
Migs: We’re getting to know each other, right?
Archie: Habang tumatagal para mo akong pinapatay eh!
(I did not reply right away… then he texted again…)
Archie: Basta sabihin mo lang sa akin na ayaw mo talaga sa akin, at least matatahimik na ako.
Migs: That’s not fair… I just recently separated, and need some time to recover — how can you expect me to fall in love right away?
Archie: Binura ko na number mo before thinking it’s better for me kasi di ko makaya maghintay. Now you’re letting me hang again!
Migs: Sabi ko nga, we should spend some time getting to know each other.
Archie: We’ve been acquainted for more than 4 years!
Migs: Yes but iba na ang context ngayon. Besides, I need to recover nga muna di ba?
Archie: Gusto mo ba ako, o ayaw mo sa akin, Migs?
(I did not know how to answer. Still some moments pass… then…)
And so Archie went away. Sad, but I am sure in my heart that someone will come along and take it easy with me. This time I wish it will be not just for the right man, but also for the right reasons, and at the right time. Sounds idealistic, but that too is just fine with me.
Now, dear friends, dear readers — do you think I should have handled the situation differently? Would love to know what you think! Any advice you can give me?
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