This is one of those really few MGG posts where I write like in a diary. Once in a while it’s good to open up differently; and I feel like doing it today so bear with me guys.
Today, still in San Francisco, I was in a whole day meeting that seemed to not end, but fortunately it did. In between meetings I received 2 emails from Sanfo-based MGG readers both inviting me to meet up and have coffee; much as I wanted to reciprocate the kindness with a brief meet up, I could not — yes, I am a prisoner of my day job (at least until the next couple of days). One kind MGG reader was actually staying just across the street from my hotel, and too bad I could not even say hi. (You guys know who you are — salamat!) The least I could do was call — and I did, although unfortunately they were not able to pick up so I just left them a voicemail.
After the whole day business meeting was over, I had to hop into a Sanfo Trolley, joined a 30-minute tour around the city together with my colleagues, which ended up in a really nice and swanky by-the-pier restaurant called “The Waterfront.” Per my request, my assistant invited a 3-piece jazz band to play through our cocktails and dinner — it was wonderful! We were in a tented and heated area by the pier, and while the jazz band was playing I could see the scenic bay bridge and its lights reflecting onto the water… and the water seem to be swaying along with the jazz rhythm. “This is the life!” I told myself. But in the middle of these all, and the business speak floating around with my colleagues, I received a text message.
“Kamusta ka na?”
It was my ex.
“Okay lang.” I suddenly felt a rush of emotion as I was replying to the SMS. “I kinda miss you. I remember when I was here in the US and you were there in Manila, and we were still ‘us’,” I texted back.
“I miss you too,” he replied. “I always thought we were soulmates.”
And I was in the verge of tears, yes, right in the middle of the business dinner. I pretended I was teary eyed due to the cold dry wind. But there was none, except outside our tented dinner area, and perhaps inside my empty heart.
Like the water swaying with the jazz band, my thoughts were swaying to and fro too when I texted in the following as a reply. “I love you” has been typed in but the send button was yet to be pressed. I dilly-dallied. Yes, no, yes, no,… until I took the dive. Not into the water. But to sending that 3-word SMS. “I love you.” To my ex. And I repeat, to my ex.
Possibly Related Entries:
- Migs in Sanfo!
- Saved by the Credit Card!
- Shouting queer love to all the world
- Queer As Folk, my intro to gay life
- The Queer Cinema of Cris Pablo
- Who is Kalayaan Mendoza?
- Pinoy Gay Blogs Inspire
- Meryl Streep, gay icon