A not-so-queer day in Sanfo
This is one of those really few MGG posts where I write like in a diary. Once in a while it’s good to open up differently; and I feel like doing it today so bear with me guys.
Today, still in San Francisco, I was in a whole day meeting that seemed to not end, but fortunately it did. In between meetings I received 2 emails from Sanfo-based MGG readers both inviting me to meet up and have coffee; much as I wanted to reciprocate the kindness with a brief meet up, I could not — yes, I am a prisoner of my day job (at least until the next couple of days). One kind MGG reader was actually staying just across the street from my hotel, and too bad I could not even say hi. (You guys know who you are — salamat!) The least I could do was call — and I did, although unfortunately they were not able to pick up so I just left them a voicemail.
After the whole day business meeting was over, I had to hop into a Sanfo Trolley, joined a 30-minute tour around the city together with my colleagues, which ended up in a really nice and swanky by-the-pier restaurant called “The Waterfront.” Per my request, my assistant invited a 3-piece jazz band to play through our cocktails and dinner — it was wonderful! We were in a tented and heated area by the pier, and while the jazz band was playing I could see the scenic bay bridge and its lights reflecting onto the water… and the water seem to be swaying along with the jazz rhythm. “This is the life!” I told myself. But in the middle of these all, and the business speak floating around with my colleagues, I received a text message.
“Kamusta ka na?”
It was my ex.
“Okay lang.” I suddenly felt a rush of emotion as I was replying to the SMS. “I kinda miss you. I remember when I was here in the US and you were there in Manila, and we were still ‘us’,” I texted back.
“I miss you too,” he replied. “I always thought we were soulmates.”
And I was in the verge of tears, yes, right in the middle of the business dinner. I pretended I was teary eyed due to the cold dry wind. But there was none, except outside our tented dinner area, and perhaps inside my empty heart.
Like the water swaying with the jazz band, my thoughts were swaying to and fro too when I texted in the following as a reply. “I love you” has been typed in but the send button was yet to be pressed. I dilly-dallied. Yes, no, yes, no,… until I took the dive. Not into the water. But to sending that 3-word SMS. “I love you.” To my ex. And I repeat, to my ex.
Hay.
Possibly Related Entries:
- Migs in Sanfo!
- Saved by the Credit Card!
- Shouting queer love to all the world
- Queer As Folk, my intro to gay life
- The Queer Cinema of Cris Pablo
- Who is Kalayaan Mendoza?
- Pinoy Gay Blogs Inspire
- Meryl Streep, gay icon
April 13th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Bitin!
Did he replied back?
What was the reply?
You and your ex had moments together.
Cherish each moments but don’t dwell with it.
Its hard and its harder.
Have fun and enjoy life.
April 13th, 2007 at 2:47 pm
“I always thought we were soulmates.â€
migs y dont you give him a ring and take sometime with him… AND DO IT NOW!!! (its an ORDER!!!) hehehhehehehheh
April 13th, 2007 at 3:09 pm
Thanks for sharing this, Migs. Lalo tuloy akong mas intrigued sa iyo. Sana nga matuloy yung trip mo dito sa Cambodia so we can meet up.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
You can still love someone even if he remains an ex. You don’t need to get back with him just because you love him still. Go back again to the reason(s) why you two split up in the first place. If the reasons still hold true, then wish him well, pray for him, ask for world peace, love him–but don’t knowingly make the same mistakes twice. Dah bah?! However, if conditions have changed and the reasons do not hold true anymore–well, ibang usapan na yan.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:18 pm
tamahhhh, i bet you’re seeing someone now. though the teary eyes mean u & ur ex had deep connection with each other B4 and its gud to reminisce the “good old days”, just be happy that you were once together but has now moved on, perhaps into something better… Ano nga pala cause ng splitville nyo? (nagtatanong lang po…) When r u posting your san fo pix?
April 13th, 2007 at 4:32 pm
awwwwwwwwwww …
April 13th, 2007 at 4:51 pm
After I went through the process of having an ex, I understood that continuing to love this person does not automatically mean that I had be “with” him. There are compelling reasons why I couldn’t be with my ex (and vice-versa) so I chose to move on. Sounds harsh but c’est la vie.
April 13th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
After reading this, I immediately thought of the song “After All” by Cher and Peter Cetera. You know, the one which goes: “I guess it’s meant to be / Forever you and me / After all.”
April 13th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
They say, “love is sweeter the second time around”. From my experience it only works in the movies though. Old issues tend to creep-up after a while and then it’s like deja vu. But I suppose there is always exception. Have fun Migs and stay safe.
April 13th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I’ve always said (to my friends and even to myself) about break-ups… It wouldn’t be called a break up if nothing was broken in the first place. If this isn’t reflective of why you guys split, maybe there’s a stronger reason to get back together.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
Ganyan talaga Migs. You will always love your ex, no matter what, and you never tried to cover it up, although your hesitation at first was understandable. He will always have a place in your heart. But if you think di na talaga kayo pwede pa then all you can do is move on with your life, and leave the bitterness behind slowly.
April 13th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
kakaingit actually… kase I’m already 22 years old pero never pa ako na fall in love, when i thought I fell in love hindi pala, it was just a mere physical and sexual attraction… i don’t know if the problem is me or the situation…
April 13th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
its really nice to remember that you loved at least once in your life even if it hurts, ako when i look back, it seems na wala akong maisip na tao na minahal ko talaga… *sob*
April 13th, 2007 at 10:39 pm
hey miggs. its alrite. its ok. from the looks of it u seem like a nice guy and u’ll find someone that’s perfect for you one day. wait do u have a picture posted on ur blog. or are u still in ‘mystery’? haha.
April 13th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
HAY…. ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I VISITED YOUR SITE.
MIGS, ILL TRY TO PICK YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT,MONDAY MORNING RIGHT? SAME TIME?
NGA PALA, MARY A BROKE ONE OF OUR FAVORITE GLASS.
April 14th, 2007 at 1:04 am
ay! sumagot ang ex! ibang level na ito!
April 14th, 2007 at 2:05 am
haay, believe it or not, i understand how it feels.. nakakarelate talaga ako
migs go for gold! i wish you guys the best
April 14th, 2007 at 2:41 am
why not give another chance Migs? if you think you’ll be happy (again) with him, then go and multiply! hehehehe! kala mo seryoso noh?
;p
April 14th, 2007 at 2:49 am
ayan may susundo… may mangyayari na..
April 14th, 2007 at 5:33 am
awww dont dwell with the past with ur ex, coz if its not meant to be, dont push it. u be okay, just enjoy ur stay in San FRan. too bad i would have show u around as well, just i dont live there anymore. dont text back, u know it will hurt u in the end. i hate to keep it real, but reality kicks in.
April 14th, 2007 at 5:41 am
hi migs. so now you’ve created suspense for many of us -> will you get back together with your ex? did you say “i love you” back to dan, your eyeball sa boracay? ikaw, ha! binibitin mo kami. are you still going to around here in the sfo bay area through the weekend? enjoy!
April 14th, 2007 at 6:10 am
Ayun!
Naihi na naman ako ng three and a half drops sa kilig!
Nakakabitin..
April 14th, 2007 at 8:16 am
hay naku…migs…gaga ka pala.
move on, girl!
April 14th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
I know the feeling. Sad to say my ex is married now.
April 14th, 2007 at 2:27 pm
oh, what reply nya?
April 14th, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Tama. Saying “i love you” back doesn’t necessarily mean that you two have to get back. It could simply be an acknowledgment of a feeling. There are other important considerations to be made…You’re an intelligent guy and i trust you know what to do.
April 14th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
moving on doesnt mean stopping to love someone. I still love my ex. he was my first love. I’ll always love him. and Id like to think he still loves me too. He and I remain very much in each other’s lives. We became good friends long after the very ugly break up. and a year hence, I can safely call him one of my best friends. he’s a confidante and hes probably one of only a few persons who know me and my quirks better than eveny myself.
Thing is—we’re not the type of people who can make it work as a couple. Its a lot of things. Broken up couples need not be broken up. Moving on doesnt mean stopping to love a person—it actually means accepting that you guys cant be together in spite of the love because you and he just have other things to do, other people to be with, and separate lives to live. Its accepting what isnt and whats not meant to be without hating or growing apathetic towards each other.
migs, more than anyone else, its only you and your ex who can decide–together–if its really over, or if its worth mone more try. who knows? you and he might just be sharon and aga in kung ako na lang sana? (sorry, i saw it over channel 2 over the holy week)
April 14th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Hahahaha… good for you MIGS!
I wish I could do that to one of my exes…..
grrrrr
April 14th, 2007 at 9:18 pm
ganyan talaga buhay..sometimes you just can’t getaway with the ex kahit ano gawin mo… but good to try to move on pa rin naman
April 15th, 2007 at 12:33 am
hay migs, i’d rather that u hit the peak with your ex, than cruise in castro or market street..tell him come on over and hit the sack!!
April 15th, 2007 at 9:23 am
ay naku….
April 15th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
It happens. Somebody does get to touch our very souls. And we’re changed for good. Hang in there Migs.
April 16th, 2007 at 1:19 am
if u texted ur ex that you (still) love him, what’s wrong? based on experience, after every break up… i don’t stop loving the person, i just learned to love myself a bit more.
April 16th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
wow, nice writting huh.
April 17th, 2007 at 11:24 pm
like migs, my ex txted me too - the “i miss you thing”. but i could not reply saying - ” i can’t move on…”
April 26th, 2007 at 4:43 am
is texted the past tense of text?