“I’m bisexual,” says a new friend while we were having dinner among other new friends. It got me to thinking how the concept and use of the term “bisexual” has, to say it bluntly, been bastardized as of late.
I’ve been noticing that it’s a fad to say “I’m Bi” thanks to the apparently high “market value” of gays who act like straight men. Yes, the terms “bi” and “straight-acting” are being used interchangeably nowadays — and since it seems that a lot more gays are attracted to the “straight-acting” type, more gays tag themselves as “bi.” There are two issues here: (a) Self-concept — those claiming to be straight-acting should take a good look at themselves, and perhaps get honest opinion from others — there is nothing wrong with being effeminate, nothing so great about being straight-acting. We just need to be honest and comfortable with who we are, and how we really, naturally act. (b) Semantics — simply put, bisexual is not equal to straight-acting. Bisexual means you swing both ways, or you dig both men and women. Straight-acting refers to the outward behavior of a person — if most people who hear you talk and see you move mistake you as a straight guy most of the time then maybe you qualify to be called straight-acting. Furthermore, there are bisexuals who are as effeminate as fairies can be. There are straight-acting gay men who are exclusively homosexual.
My opinion is that there is much more to a person than one’s outward behavior. Eh ano kung effem? Eh ano kung straight-acting? While I totally respect your preferences in selecting a partner (as I have mine as well), I encourage you to try to look for more than just the outward behavior in evaluating people. Di ba nga, sabi sa Little Prince, “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” For me, the lesson from all these is — more than just the semantics and labels — embracing who you really are, being comfortable with the truth, and celebrating the beauty of it all (yours and others), minus the prejudices and judgement.
I, thank you! World Peace! Hehehe.
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