Love, Respect, and Dignity

Here is a letter from Marc, an MGG reader, that tackles the classic predicament of straight-gay relationship. It’s true — when you are the one in the situation, it is much harder to see things objectively. We may always advocate that straight-gay relationships go nowhere, that it will never last especially without the money angle, etc. But who are we to stop any gay guy from falling in love? So I say, go and love whoever you want to love. My only suggestion is that in the course of loving, may each of us find more respect and dignity in our own person — but if the opposite happens then it’s time for some rethinking.

* * *

Hi Migs,

I encountered your blog a couple of weeks ago and I must say that this has inspired me and consoled me through the difficulties I have been facing lately.

I am a straight acting gay. Nobody knows about this except my two straight guy friends whom I have known from different/separate stages of my life. I have no plans of coming out as I am not yet comfortable with my situation (cliche’: I am a man who happens to love another man and I do not wish or intend to be a woman). I envy those who are brave enough to show their real persons but I beg your your respect and understanding regarding my situation and your non-judgmental way of looking at my problem, as it goes:

One of the two straight friends I have told earlier was my crush way back college days. We bumped into each other almost 5 years ago and re-discovered each other’s company. He was about 2 months married then and his wife was on family way for almost 5 months.

We went out and after a couple of drinking sessions, I confessed that was in love with him back our college days and I still have feelings for him. He said that he already had inkling back then” and said: “Ok lang as long as tandaan mo may asawa ako and magkakaroon na rin ng anak”. I was a “yes” as long as I would know where I would stand.

We went out almost every week, no “hanky-panky, - just pure clean fun. There was no declaration of “i love you’s” nor any assumption that we are “together”. We are just buddies. I met his family and became close with them also. I envy his relationship with his wife but I have no ill-wish that they be separated. I want them to be together. I always reminded him that he is lucky to have this kind of family that I only dreamed about.

Our “relationship” lasted for almost 5 years. In that period, we had “sex” only for 5 times. The “sex” I was talking about is “he-just-stands-there-and-I-suck-him” kind of way (I hope this goes through your “censor” as I think this information is vital in the story). No kissing (he did not like it, as indeed mentioned in one of your articles on straight men), no romance, juts BJ. Just 5 times. In 5 years. A little about 5-10 mins each.

Still, it was okay with me. He was the first and only man (so far) whom I have done that oral act. Demure and prude? maybe. But more than that, it was hopeless romantism (”I do it only to the one I love” principle).

During those years, I told him that I am willing to forego my requests for the oral act as he always complains that he feels guilty everytime we do it . He said he is sorry for his wife and his child after we did the act. Hence, only 5 times for 5 years. My only condition imposed for not asking the oral act was he should have no other women except his wife. I tend to get jealous with the other girls flirting with him as they would get to have sex with him while all I got was a “stand-up” act. So I asked him to just inform me if he is already dating or planning to date girls other than his wife. My reason was “ayokong ako ang gumagastos sa iyong mga luho pero gagamitin mo lang sa ibang tao other than your family. Also, I told him that “ayokong madamay sa gulo nyo in case sumabog yan”.

In fairness to the guy, mabait siya sa akin at hindi nagde-demand ng kahit ano. My problem was I showered him with a lot of gifts (sometimes, pera na lang for him to buy what he wants with his wife lest his wife would suspect should he go home with a new pair of shoes or a cellphone). This was my way of showing how much I love him and I do not want him to incur expenses while we go out as he has a family to support.

Our problem would always be “other girls”. Since he is really goodlooking, a lot of girls go gaga over him. There were times that I suspect that he is fooling around with other girls but he always denied this. So I started to be paranoid and be distrustful. When he said that he is out with his friends, I would call our common friend to confirm if he is indeed with him but in a very careful manner so as not to give away any clue about us. Sometimes, I would call his wife to check if they are really together. These acts of mine really pissed him off. He said that I am trying to “fish” information from his wife. He said that his wife may suspect about us as I was always “concern” about his whereabouts. I know I sometime acted overboard but sometimes I can’t control my emotions. I wanted to be vindicated everytime I have some suspicion so I try to look for evidence to support my accusation.

Last month, he broke up with me. He said my actions would give us away and he said that “nakakahiya kung maghihiwalay kami ng asawa ko dahil lang sa katulad mo”. That was below the belt. That was cruel.

I survived without any communication with him for almost one month. This was the longest since we first met up five years ago. This was the time when I got hold of your blog and learned from the experiences of your readers. Your blog helped me through this ordeal. I was okay.

Then, he called me up.

He informed me that he and his wife are already separated. I was not in the picture. His wife discovered his relationship with another woman which was going on for almost 3 months now. He also said that all my suspicions while we were together during those months were all correct. He wanted to meet up with me to ask for forgiveness.

We met. He said that he still maintains the relationship with this new woman and he admitted that he already fell in love with her. In turn, I admitted that I still have feelings for him and all these times, I was just waiting for his call. Stupid me. After all these days of trying to live my life, he would show up. All my defenses were buried and my feelings gained control over me. In reply, he said that he is willing to take me back as long as I learn to let him be and live his life now with this woman. He said that I should not feel jealous with his new woman as she and I are different. He said “babae talaga ang hanap ko” but he is willing to help me as he knows that I can only confide my feeling with him as I am still in the closet. He said that we would help each other go through our problems. He did not give me his new cellphone number as I have the tendency to call him anytime of the day. It seems that I am checking again his whereabouts and “nagbabantay na naman”. Ayaw nya sa attitute ko na ganun.

I agreed to continue our relationship but this time, I told him I do not want the help that he is offering. My other friends (especially the other straight guy earlier who knows tthe real me is my best friend and would always be there to support me… no strings attached) are enough already although they do not know the real me. I am ok with them. What I want is a relationship from him.

Now, at home, I am wondering. Did I make the right decision of letting him into my life again? We spent 5 years and in thise five years, we would go out in public places drinking everyweek and would chat for almost 5 hours. That was not easy to forget. He was and sitll my life. Plus, what if this is as good as it gets? Should I just be happy about it and be content with it?

I know some would say that I should not fall with a straight man. I know that this is the be all and end all of my problems but please I need your advice aside from this fact.

thnx a lot.

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31 Responses to “Love, Respect, and Dignity”

  1. jang chul soo Says:

    sorry marc but the end all-be all point of your problem is just that. He don’t want you. Not in that way. 5 blowjobs don’t change that. Sorry. Hope you find love. =)

  2. teka muna Says:

    Gaga! Masakit lang yan sa una, wag mo ng balikan, wala kang laban sa babae kung yun nga ang gusto nya. Hello? sabihan ako ng ganun baka matauhan na ako. Oo na, marami kayong pinagsamahan, cherish mo na lang yun sa iyong memory. Easier said than done pero pag dating ng panahon, pag wala ka ng feelings, baka isipin mo “the hell was i thinking”

  3. raymund gerard Says:

    first of all, your situation is a story that transcends gender preferences–parallel stories happen even in the heterosexual world. its only the sexuality of the characters that change, but the dynamis remain the same—there’s a guy, and theres another guy/girl while the 1st guy is still with another guy/girl.

    second, i want you to tell us, yourself included, why you would want to be with someone who has a habit of breaking his word? he broke his marital vows for 5 years by being with you. he broke his word to you as well. i can excuse a few isolated incidents of indiscretion, after all we are just human and prone to mistakes. but 5 years is a habit. 5 years is psychological incapacity if you may.

    3rd, wake up, gay or not, this guy is not for you. he doesnt love you enough. maybe youre a dear friend—at the very least—a friend with benefits. at worst, a glorified sex object. but you know, you deserve so much more. youre a guy who seems to be so giving to a fault—that in the end you fail to love yourself and take care of your own needs. is this what you want? a rather very insecure states of affairs, pun intended? dont you want to be with someone who deserves it, who gives you back something? it sounds selfish but selfishness is okay so long as it doesnt turn greed. in the sameway, selflessness is okay so long as it doesnt turn to self-destruction. when you give too much—you have nothing left. you self destroy.

    i think part of your problem is that for now you have a very limited world view, and a very limited world for that matter. id hate to say this but i think, step 1 to taking care of yourself is acepting yourself—and part of accepting yourself is starting, even if slowly—to be proud of who you are by telling–even if slowly—more and more about who you are.

    the pressure put on people like us by society is just so gargantuan that its but human for us to seek out desperate, sometimes self depecating measures to mitigate. i think if you have more people to share this side of you with—it will help ease the pressure (and when i talk pressure this includes the self inflicted doubts and pains and whatever we tend to do when we feel bad about ourselves) and put you in a better mindset to make the right decisions for you.

    youre not thinking very sanely because of all these “pressure” (and i use theword loosely to refer to the general sense of self deprecation, gloom and doom attendant to those who have yet to fully accept themselves AND THEIR situation) and i think once the pressure is eased, youll be in a better position to see things better.

    I wish you very well marc. youre a good guy marc. i dont know you but thats very obvious from your letter.

    migs, marc may have a different situation from you, but theres a lesson to learn here as well, by people who are in your boat.

    lets coffee within the week…and you may just be able to convince me to do a podcast. hahahahaha. but im super talkative youll need 3 hours. hahahahaha.

  4. jimg29 Says:

    marc, na banco de oro ka ng tinuturing mong boyfriend for 5 yrs. too bad hindi mo kaagad nahalata ang pinaka-obvious na this relationship with him is just one way street. Good luck for the new beginning.

  5. pepron Says:

    Wow, parang ako unang nakabasa…ok ..go…

    So, he never kissed you “lips-to-lips”….I’m sure you tried it before and he moved away.Baka bad breathe ka lang nung time na yun.. checking the smell of your saliva by licking a part of your hand and smelling it when it dries up, before kissing is a good way to find out. ( It happened to me before eh, heheehe)

    Seriously though, should you be happy with the way things are right now? You need to imagine, “what if it’s not?” Can you live without it? (Of course, you can.)Will you survive? (Of course, you will.)

    The fact that you’ve asked is an obvious craving for more. YOU’RE NOT CONTENTED!Don’t worry, it’s human nature to move forward.

    What if you can find someone straight acting like you are and the two of you might hit it off better?

    Maybe it’s time for you to start finding them. 90% of Guys at a gym are likely to be closeted ( I’ve found out about this as I’ve gone and tried different ones…)or you can find straight actors in bars, clubs, etc.You just need to get out more…

    In your relationship now; if that’s only how good it’ll get, and you’re still in love; then tuloy mo na lang hanggat mag-sawa ka na…coz’trust me: MAGSASAWA KA RIN…

    Goodluck! Hugs!


  6. josh Says:

    i think the set-up of having a platonic love for ur friend will continue to be like that (xcept for the five ecounters you have had in 5 yrs,was it ur bday kaya or anniversary?hehehe). Since ur so “called” partner in life is not monogomous himself, then i say be opened to other possibilities, looking for other fish in other bowls. Baka you might catch the one meant for you… BAsta love urself first!!! :)

  7. eponine Says:

    oh damn. like i was reading my own damn story. actually kagagaling ko lang sa isang drinking session. i have no advice to give. but i jsut want to share with you marc, that i am almsot in the same situation.

    i have 3 straight guy friends who know my identity and sexuality. let’s call them mon, jon and ron. all three of them have families (wife and a kid). i have known mon since high school and he is the handsomest of 3 (he looks like jr valentine-cum-cesar montano-cum-dominic ochoa) while jon looks like bruce quebral, shorter version. ron looks like armando mendoza of betty la fea, also a shorter version, and more pinoy. i have known jon and ron for 2 years.

    i have begun our good friendship by expressig that i have liked them. i was the one reaching out to them, looking for them. a week wasn’t complete if i didn’t meet them. i have also expressed to them that i like them (mon and jon). it almost came to a point of me seriously falling for them, but never did. but i told each of them that i would like to keep them as friends and i stand by that. i do help them out with some matters, e.g. financial but i do not shower them with gifts. we frequently go out on drinking sessions, sometiems dalawa lang kame, sometimes kame tatlo, soemtimes all four of us (ain’t i lucky to be surroudned by good-lookign men). i am glad i have proven to them (despite temptations) that i am a friend i had no sexual intentions to them. i am also glad that they have proven themselves as true friends for they have also helped me in times i needed help, a friend, or even financial assistance.

    here comes ron. the youngest of the three, married, has had 2 wives and one child from each. this is the one i have somehow “showered” with a few things, even helped with finances. i have also brought him to my drinking sessions etc. and yes, despite being married, we have crossed borders of friendship by getting into some activities. “because i love you” concept also held true for me with ron. now i am trying to help him get back with his first wife (and that he’ll marry her soon, and this is also his choice). mon and ron are against anything more than friendship between me and ron. we are not in an explicit straight guy-gay guy relationship but we are similar to it already. and yeah, i also have that over-protective paranoid attitude of wanting him to stay only with his wife and no other woman. i also have the same attitude for mon and ron, although to a very much lesser degree.

    i have lasmost destroyed myself trying to save ron form destroying his. i have forgoten my family also to save his. good thing too that i have very good friends like mon and jon who keep me sane and give me strength (barkadang tunay tlg). they are freinds with ron and they tell me they have a bad feeling that ron is merely taking advatage of me. so they always remind me to keep my guards and they try knocking senss into my thick head. i also listen to them.

    i am now in the process of regaining myself, loving myself again, keeping my self whole again. i have given so much for ron. mon and jon try to help me with that. i try to ragin slef-respect and dignity, and more importantly self-love. i know ron also has tendencies to go with other women, but i tried stopping myself from being paranoid by thinking that his faults are his, i can only try to lead to his good path, but i cannot dictate him whatever realtionship he is into. i know i’d get hurt if ever he’d not pursue his first wife, or if he had goen with other women. but whatever he does is is doing, not yours. he watns to keep me as a friend still, but i also try to keep my distance, and i try slowing down with gifts and financial assistance. the absence of money has made me think clearly how i can define my frienship with ron. i have also confronted him with the issue of money by aksig him, “who am i to you if i were to be without anything?”

    ron is very excited that he’s preapring for his wedding. i have not been officially invited. it’s ebcause his first wife doesn’t know my true identity, while mon and jon’s wives have come to confront me (i look straight into their eyes to tell them that i have them onyl as friends, alsmost like brothers but with out romantic os sexual inclinations). i guess taht also sets the difference, kasi mon and jon’s wives have also become close to me, even telling methier problems with their husbands.

    sorry medyo humaba ang kwento ko at ala akong mabigay na point. gusto ko lang magshare. kakrarating ko lagn sa bahay and ron and i have just been to one intimate session tonight after drinking (i do not have to be explicit here). me amats pa rin ako now. i was about to go to sleep pero di ko makayanan, nakakarelate ako sa article mo. nagmahal ako ng lubusan ke ron pero pinalad akong magkaroon din ng mga tunay na kaibigan tulad nina mon at jon. sinabi ko rin ke ron na me hangganan ang pagiging close namin pero hindi ibig sabihin dun magtatapos ang pagkakaibigan, pero mababawasan ang maraming ugnayan naming dalawa. salamat sa tulong na rin nina mon at jon muli sa pagiging nasa tabi ko lagi.

    siguro magiging point ko lang, tanong mo sa isa mo pang straight guy friend ano opinion nya (but be careful falling for him too, but make sure you treat him as a true friend, hindi sex object no matter how hunky or goodlooking). your straight friend may speak of certain truths that might help you a lot.

    heineken, ang hirap talaga magmahal ang isang baklita. at lalong mas mahirap magmahal sa isang straight married guy. ikaw sa palagay mo, sapat na ba ang pagmamahal na nabigay mo? wawakasan mo na rin ba ang pagkakaibigan at pagmamahal mo sa kanya? kung sa palagay mo ginagatasan ka lang ng pera, nararapat pa bang mahalin mo siya? sa palagay mo, pinapahalagahan ka rin ba niya bilang kaibigan, or dahil sa kailangan ka na naman niya? ikaw lang makakasagot ng mga ito. magmahal ka, pero mahalin mo rin ang sarili mo. (gasgas na masyado to pero mahirap gawin)

    sana makahanap ka ng tunay na pag-ibig at kaligayahan.

  8. Bryz Says:

    hay… relate aketch hahahha

    ei… dont be afraid… tiid lang ng konti.. mawawala rin yan…

    magugulat ka nalang… pero dapat wala kang pinagsisihan… never regret just try to learn from it…


  9. rOckY Says:

    With luck Marc will read everything we all have to say and realize that he deserves so much more than this guy, who’s clearly using him to his own benefit.

    While it’ll take time before he’ll be able to find the strength within himself to come out and be proud of who he is, it doesn’t mean he should content himself what whatever comes along, no matter how good looking.

    Perhaps with distance, his head will clear and things will make more sense.

  10. alfonso Says:

    you were stupidly in love for five years. it is time to wake up and get real. you wasted your life, love and time with this man, don’t allow yourself to have to waste your life again. this man used you. learn to love and respect yourself and remember a straight guy can never ever love you back the way that you should be loved. it is time for you to change your thinking and use your head, otherwise you will spend the rest of your life alone, empty and broken.

  11. chuchucaracas Says:

    hi marc,

    i think i know where you’re coming form. ciguro for you he’s the only guy who could ever understand you and knows you kaya you’re still optimistic that being with him is a good thing. ciguro nga based on what he tells you and how you feel about it. i think it would help if you’re gonna look at it from a different perspective. like if he really means what he tells you don’t you think he would have treated you better. or that if he is as good as his word, would you ever feel as insecure as you did. do you honestly feel that what you’re going through now is all worth it, knowing that every after your 5-10 min tryst his mind is on somebody else who’s not you. ciguro hindi naman masama to be in a relationship na ganito pero if you’re going to lead yourself to believe that this is as close to having a real boyfriend then you’re just kidding yourself because he doesn’t treat you as one. and honestly, not even a real friend would treat you that way. and don’t forget the fact na kinaya niyang iwan ang sarili niyang asawa na pinakasalan niya, don’t be so blind to think na mas mahal ka niya sa asawa niya.

    fool me once shame on you
    fool me twice shame on me

  12. vince Says:

    wake up marc! this guy’s a user who only, quite obviously, cares for ONE person–himself. (he couldn’t even make his relationship with his wife work, for chrissakes!) and you are living in your own little make-believe world–convincing yourself that you’ll have a happily-ever-after ending with him. in street lingo, ginagago ka na, tinatanggap mo naman… lock, stock and barrel. you’re better off without him. oh yes, if you do find someone else, try to do away with the man-to-man guarding habit. you gotta learn to trust your partner. if there’s a need to find out where your partner is 24 hours a day (i.e. your partner tends to betray your trust), then most probably, the person is an a-hole and doesn’t deserve you.

  13. LEO Says:

    Nandyan ka na naman. Tinutukso tukso ang aking puso. Ilang ulit na bang iniiwasan ka. Di na natuto.

  14. Isaribi Says:

    “Ever wonder why sunset is a lot colorful than sunrise? I guess its the irony of life, there is good in goodbyes”

    *SIGH* In my own point of view, he can never love you the same way you that you are loving him now.

    Let go.

    I know its not easy but you will just ruin yourself with him around. Have you ever thought why he returned to you? One thing is for sure, its not love. Maybe because of the fact that he can use you to support his vices (Come on, I’m sure summing up all the things that you have given him will only not cost 5 bj’s in five years in the real market!). You don’t have to worry about him. He’s a big boy now and he has a mommy to take care of him. So who will take care of you? You alone will take of your own self. So, love yourself more. As for the coming out part, time will tell. You come out not because some is helping you to come out. You come out because you are just being you.

    -just my thoughts-

  15. Isaribi Says:


  16. blue_harajuku Says:

    huwag na marc! before it eats you whole… kung friends friends lang talaga, dont cross the line. you’ll find another guy you deserve..

    good luck!

  17. cast Says:

    haaayyy… ka colorful naman ang buhay nating mga bading….

  18. george Says:

    marc, mahirap ang situation mo. been there, done that, ika nga. you know what, whatever people write here, no matter how true and frank and helpful, i would still bet my ass off that the moment your guy calls you, matataranta ka na naman. goodbye to all great advice!

    it’s very easy to tell you to love yourself and forget the guy. it’s very easy to say he is using you, so forget him. it is very easy to say, you’re lost — find your way again to good life and respect. However, you are emotionally involved with this guy and that means a lot. It is very difficult.

    Work on it gradually. At first, I tried a little but of distance. Mahirap, kasi while you are successful if you do it yourself, if your guys calls you, you’re at it. But gradually work on this.

    Second, whenever you’re depressed or near-depresssion, or just when you have a little bit of misgiving about the whole thing — walk alone and talk to yourself. Tell yourself..”This is just a feeling…this is just a feeling.” Talk to yourself and argue your case to yourself. I tell you, it works. Again, gradually. Everything you will do cannot address your problem completely and fast. You need time.

    Third, if you can, lose his number, or change your number and see for yourself if you can survive this. Of course, the guy might just be able to go and visit your place, so that’s a problem. But this is one effective thing to do — be physically away. Masakit, pero you will learn to forget him

    Fourth, don’t buy him anything. If the urge is there, again tell yourself, what will that do to your relationship? Really, will that make him happy? Will that make him closer to you? Of course not. Gumastos ka lang, period.

    It will take months to heal, probably even years. But ask yourself: do you want a way out? Be honest. If you say yes, but you are emotionally involved, then good. But you really don’t want to leave the relationship, then you are in for more trouble. Believe me, dude, this is going to start (if it hasn’t started yet) of your march to lack of self-esteem and self-respect.

  19. batang_pinoy Says:

    hi there marc, this is mark (my real name). I dunno why, but while im reading ur story I felt like I was you in the story though I havent experienced that. I not good in giving advices but I’ll try to.

    My first advice is that you try to figure out if he is just using you, I mean do the true-friendship thing test… I really dunno how exactly you should do this but try to think of ways to find out that you and him can still be friends even without any money/gifts involved. Try not to give him anything (as in anything material or money-related things) but your care and love for him in a bestfriend-manner like relationship. See how he reacts. If its ok with him, dude, YOU’VE BEEN FRIENDS. And if not, you know what I mean, HE JUST USED YOU. If that so, talk to him and tell him what you feel and leave him. Go and find a person that deserves your love the most and I guess that person should be some1 like you, a straigh looking and acting bi/gay/metrosexual guy coz more likely than not, he feels that same way as you and mostly likely you’ll understand one another. Sorry, but thats all I can say…

  20. MsNinja Says:

    Sarap talagang maging kabit no.
    Pero 5X as in 5x times lang!
    Sasakit ulo ko dian!!! Major Migraine!

  21. David Says:


    i think you should just remain friends (at the most).. kung hindi mo kaya na hanggang ganun lang.. lumayo ka na.. he already said na mahal niya yung isa.. so what are you still expecting?? sa tingin ko, masasaktan ka lang..

  22. juan Says:

    marc, a one-way relationship will never get you anywhere that you’d want it to take you. cut clean na lang.

  23. hopia Says:

    alam mo naman mga sagot sa tanong mo… in-denial ka lang siguro ngayon and you need some advice from the people you think that knows best about the dilemma you are in so that you could solidify the thoughts floating around your head.. you know what to do… =) just pray, pray, pray and pray.. He listens well… be happy =)

  24. Ralph_tacloban Says:

    loving is not the problem here.. how you want your relationship with that guy is your problem… I mean like what he said “babae lang ang hanap nya”… eh ikaw… i mean dude, i am not saying its wrong to let him be a part of your life, you’ve been through a lot… you just don’t treat him as if there was something romantic happening between the you & him… STOP BEING POSSESSIVE… he is not yours to have… friends YES… no matter how many times you give him a “head”, still, hanggang doon lang kayo… IKAW? IS THERE REALLY TO HOPE FOR IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP… are you hoping that one day magigising nalang siya then *poof* IN-LOVE NA SIYA SAYO… of course befriends with him, but this time, you got to change how & what kind of relationship you would build with him, a relationship which you yourself is not at risk of *pains, hurts & the likes… get over your fantasies about him.. above all start having a life which doesn’t revolve around him…


  25. anton maton Says:

    ang haba naman ng liham ng lola. kinarir din ang haba ng mga sagot. oh well - ikaw ang pumili sa kalagayan mo kaya panindigan mo na lang ang pagka gaga mo!

    well … isa akong querida pero sex lang habol ko. ako pa ang ginagastusan. dapat lang kasi ako ang querida.

    anton maton

  26. marc Says:

    thank you very much… i really appreciate your comments here. the pieces of advice that you have given make me feel good about myself and i appreciate the fact that although we may not know each other, there are people like you somewhere that we can depend on especially during times of sorrow and confusion.

    i know now what to do… i just have to pray harder to help me though this.

    again, thank you very much. God bless you all.

  27. bumble-bading Says:

    my dear..what you did is very understandable but at the same time stupid. Sinabi ko na understandable kasi galing ako sa almost exactly the same pareho din tau ng behavior when it comes to loving and having a relationship with a straight guy, nagmahal ako ng straight guy at until now love ko pa rin siya pero hindi ko na siya kinakausap kasi ayoko ko na masaktan ulit. I said stupid because as we all know…history repeats itself. move on girl!!

  28. robin1980 Says:

    Straight men are commodities. Nothing more, nothing less. You need to get your money’s worth.

  29. jet Says:

    ang hindi ko lang talaga magets dito is.. why does he want to take you back kung iba din naman mahal niya?

    ano yun? awa lang nararamdaman nya sayo dahil alam nyang mahal mo siya? hindi naman ata tama yun.

    try to consider your situation. this time pairalin mo na utak mo and not solely your heart. i mean, do you even consider yourself to be in a “relationship” if its a one-way street? love doesnt play like that.

  30. Crafty Says:

    Hi there, Marc. 5 bjs in 5 years won’t change his attitude towards you. Doesn’t it make you feel better if the person who’s with you reciprocates your i love you’s? go, explore your world, and you’ll see, the right person would just stumble upon your feet.
    i also had a difficult struggle to accept who i am. i had girls, i had boys. but now, i am happily living with my partner for 5 years now, and yes, we have a son. we’re both straight acting and we’re comfortable this way. you don’t have to sway your hips when walking just to let other people know that you are in the open, anyway.
    g’ luck to you. i’m sure, you’ll find your own happiness.

  31. Dave Says:

    Like the one contained in a later post: “A habit is not a need.” -Coelho

    “Weekly 5-hour drinking sessions of bonding” does not equal “growing old with you.”

    Life could really be unfair at times. Remember that the world will still revolve- even without you.

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