The Facades of Gay Guys
This article was originally posted in peyups.com contributed by rapi_74 and edited by arwen.
The Parlorista. The Ms. Gay Barangay X, Y, Z, ∞. The Japayuki with the what-planet-did-your-boobs-come-from. The Pedophile. The Thief. The Incestuous. The Molestor. The Mamasang. The Devil Personified. The AIDS Victim. The Mataray, Malibog, Gossip, Malicious, Nagbabayad-ng-boyfriend, Rapist, Transvestite, Transsexual, Male-to-Female!
The notoriety of faggots has astonished the Philippine society to the point that through the years it has successfully secluded the gays - boxed them into harsh stereotypes. No wonder most gays would rather hide with the facade of straightness. And who could blame them? Look at that Babaylan flaunting his/her false womanhood. Look at that butch rug-muncher sitting at AS Steps grossly kissing her femme partner. Look at you. Look at me. Of course they’re disgusting! They’re deviants for God’s sake! And we don’t want to be deviant; we want to be straight like the rest of them.
Thankfully nowadays, gay guys have a lot of facades to choose from.
He can be like Alejandro, a BS Development Communications senior at UPLB, who flaunts to the world his machismo while getting it on with my roommate. A supposed true-blue-bisexual, he claims that he doesn’t care who he sleeps with, as long as he loves her or him. But my roommate says that he’d only hold the hand of Girlfriend but then be physical with Boyfriend.
Does it matter that he likes men? No! As long as there is that supposed possibility that he will, some day, marry and procure a Junior, a ‘the Third,’ and so forth, the society will adore him: he will be a champion to this patriarchal society defunct of tolerance and understanding.
Or he can be like Cholo, an AB Sociology sophomore. I met him in this anonymously gay chat room - bisexually coined ‘#bi-laguna’ - and asked him his ASL (Age-Sex-Location). He replied ‘18-bi-curious-lb.’ I asked myself ‘What the hell is this bi-curious? Is that what they call a bi-polar homo nowadays?’ But instead, I asked him, placidly:
“What do you mean by “bi-curious”?’
He answered “I just want to try “it”, but I’m still straight.”
So we met, and tried and tried and tried his ‘bi-curiosity’ out. Amazingly, after five weeks of “trying”, he tells me, “I’m still straight. I’m sorry.” So we went our own ways and after two days, I found out that he was now trying it out with Alejandro the Bisexual. Imagine that.
Or he can be like Manuel, a BS Forestry hunk. He gets drunk in an after-finals circle of GSM Blue and Red Horse-chaser with his clique: a boy, a girl, a girl, a gay, a girl, a boy, and a boy. All of them got wasted and the next thing they knew, he and Brian, the gay guy, were kissing. The morning-after, the hang-over, he woke up, naked, next to Brian the Gay. Manuel stammered, and started cursing Brian with “What the hell? What the fuck! Did we? Did you? Gasp! Putang Ina! We did! Why did you? I’m straight! Putang ina pare, straight ako! Trip lang ‘yun ‘tol! Hindi ako Bakla!”
He shouted diverse obscenities to poor Brian the Gay even when he, Manuel, with all his musculous masculinity, was the one who first grabbed Brian. And, mind you, Manuel the Straight-Tripper was undeniably sober.
Gay guys can choose to be anything that is not gay. This is, after all, a supposed free country. After all, being anything not-gay is a trend these days. After all, hypocrisy is a Filipino culture. But choosing to hide gayness is choosing to be ashamed of it. And, of course, they have all the right to be ashamed of what they are and, most especially, who they are. On the other hand, choosing to be proud is a whole different story of magic and heroism.
Look at that Babaylan, shamelessly flaunting her womanhood - her true humanity. Did we ever consider that she is, day by day, berated for being herself? But she still, day by day, faces the world, hangs out with her friends - friends who accept and love her for who she is - and smiles, laughs and sleeps happily. Look at that butch lesbian at AS steps, cuddling her lover, shamelessly showing to passers-by her love - true love - to the girl of her dreams. Do we consider that they’re shunned by their parents but, despite that, they still hold on to a love believed to be real? Do we consider that despite hatred and prejudice they still choose to be proud?
Do we ever consider anything or just glance at them and instantly judge with our twisted perfection?
Look at them: the sinful, malignant, and promiscuous. And then think. Now, look at them: the proud, dignified, and true. And then look at yourself. Look at you.
[Taken from Berdeng Mansanas]
Possibly Related Entries:
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- 7 Reasons Why Gays Chat Online
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- He Loves Only Straight Guys
- Janvier Daily in Climax Bookazine
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- Afraid of Being Old and Lonely
- Raymund Lim, chinito of Provoq
October 24th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
true! nice article.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
Don’t look at me…look at the the guy below me!…It’s all his freagin’ faggoty fault!!! hahaha!(..joke lang to the guy below me )
October 24th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Ay sus wala ako naintindhan
October 24th, 2007 at 10:01 pm
lupit..
October 24th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
read it weeks ago… very very nice artik!!
October 25th, 2007 at 2:11 am
nice artic!
October 25th, 2007 at 3:44 am
Araouch ko bullseye ang blazing bullet na ‘to. ‘pucha makapanalamin nga muna at magpowder bago harapin ang world, hello!
October 25th, 2007 at 8:28 am
totally thought-provoking and relevant, in light of what’s going on out there regarding two actors and a movie columnist…
Migs, continue to challenge our minds …thanks!
October 25th, 2007 at 8:42 am
unfortunately the vast majority of gays are consumed only with sex (one-night-stand, anonymous sex, sex with strangers, etc.)and this is the only side that the rest of society know about gays. this doesn’t exactly elicit respect.
October 25th, 2007 at 8:57 am
WOW! makes you thing of what matters most after all.
October 25th, 2007 at 8:57 am
think**
October 25th, 2007 at 9:27 am
its a stupid article.. poorly written. you should have edited the article migs..
its written as if the thought process was in tagalog then translated in english .. that didn’t quite make it.
the thoughts are scattered everywhere
October 25th, 2007 at 10:31 am
ay tinanggal comment ko.. heheh
October 25th, 2007 at 12:01 pm
beer pa nga….
October 25th, 2007 at 10:12 pm
yah why set standards for everyone who wants to be himself/ herself. If babaylans have too much estrogen hormones or the butch lesbian have too much testosterone then why make them feel different?
But i also have to comment on
All people who get drunk switch to the different image due to the effects of alcohol to the neurotransmitters of our brain. so the guy might be really telling the truth hehe.
October 25th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
cast… let’s raise a mug! in vino veritas na to… but unlike in my previous comments, hindi ako lasing ngayon.
clark kent in smallville - he tries to keep his idenity, his powers not because he is ashamed of them. no matter what or how good he does, he chooses to keep the secret kais nasasaktan ang mga minamahal. so, not all gays who choose to hide their identity are ashamed of their sexuality or being. i feel like clark, because the last thing i want to do is hurt the ones i love - family and friends.
October 26th, 2007 at 1:15 am
i read it again. got me thinking.
are gays who act straight really have to be equated to gays “hiding” and “being ashamed” of who they are? are we not being narrow-minded ourselves when we only see the ones who are have obvious limp wrists as the chosen few who are “proud and dignified”?
October 26th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Read this article a few weeks ago. It was nice at first. But something was obviously wrong. (Right you are, mekare.)
There are two kinds of idiots in our community as far as sexuality is concerned.
One, the so-called Macho who believes that binge drinking, violence, f*cking girls, cheating on them, knocking them up, makes him more of a man. Twice the idiocy is how he thinks this is standard for “strong and manly” men. What a maroon, says Bugs Bunny. And darn right.
Then there’s number two, the ‘out-and-proud’ Gay man who believes that being ‘attracted’ to the same-sex (i.e. homosexual) runs through a spectrum of the ‘flaming badinggerzie’ (”dignified divas”) to ’straight-acting paminta’ (”closeted cowards”). This ninny believes that to be homosexual should mean feminine, and that to be masculine and homosexual means you MUST be in denial. He is both a jerk and an oaf.
P.S. I’m still scratching my head over the use of ‘babaylan’. I believe a babaylan is an indigenous pre-Christian priest/ess? I’m sure some of them babaylan were effeminate (perhaps even transsexual) men, but most of them were women. So it doesn’t really translate.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Gayness takes different forms. Here at our office, we have a gay officemate na super chismosa. Lahat ng tao na tingin nya mas magaling sa kanya, sinisiraan nya. Grabe!!!
October 26th, 2007 at 4:28 pm
Gayness takes different forms. Here at our office, we have a gay officemate na super chismosa. Lahat ng tao na tingin nya mas magaling sa kanya, sinisiraan nya. Nang- iimbento sya ng kwento na si ganito at ganyan ay may ka live-in. Pero sa totoo lang, sya ang may ka live-in.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:26 pm
this is so spot on smack right into the face. i love this article. can i link it to my blog?
October 27th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Heterosxuality isn’t the opposite of homosexuality. It’s holiness.
Homosexuality is just an unseen need that was being translated more into physical longingness. thus, homosexual relationship’s foundation is more on sex (this may be refuted but this is evident).
October 28th, 2007 at 12:44 pm
hay naku. i think appearances take a backseat to the honesty to oneself, to your loved ones and to society. gays who keep denying who they are (but practice in secret) are hypocrites. they refuse to stand up for who they are and live lives of deceit. for what? so as not to “hurt” friends and family? hmmm. i’m sure my friends and family would want me to be more honest and brave and i certainly expect them to love me beyond my sexuality. so i find it hard to respect gays who mask their sexuality under silly labels like “bi-curious” (remember it kills cats) “straight-acting” (what are you after, a famas or urian?), etc. as long as you are ashamed to call yourself gay, you contribute to prolonging the anti-gay stigma.
October 31st, 2007 at 2:13 am
panalo! hahaha!