Last week, I met with a group of fellow gay bloggers in Gateway, Araneta Center. One of them was Rico, a lawyer. Because we were seated at the dinner table just beside each other, we had the chance to talk one-on-one. He intimated to me something that nearly made me fall off my seat. Rico falls only for straight guys. And he does not mean straight-acting, he means straight, heterosexual guys.
“That’s an oxymoron!” I was trying to explain how it is impossible for a heterosexual man to love him back 100%. “Maybe he will love you for your money, or for whatever benefits he can enjoy from you, but he cannot give you the love you deserve,” I said.
Rico did not seem to want to hear any of it, and so he explained further — that whenever a guy he is dating starts to show signs of falling in love with him, he snaps out of it. He said something like, “I desire the affection, of course as much affection I can get, but if it gets to a point that he is swinging towards loving me more than he loves his wife or girlfriend, the attraction just fades away. Parang ayoko na sa kanya.” He illustrates with an example of a guy who, while they were dating, started crying. He was expressing his dilemma that he may be more in love with Rico than his girlfriend. That made him dump the Cry Baby in a jiffy.
By this time, perhaps sensing my violent reaction to the blasphemy I was hearing from Rico, the other gay bloggers in the dinner table joined in the discussion too. Gibbs attempted to offer a rather amusing explanation, “Try to understand, Migs, Rico is a provincial lass.” According to him, that is how gays are in the rural areas — they are expected to get attracted only to straight guys, much as they are expected to be parloristas. Ang sabi ng alamat, kapag na in-love sila sa kapwa nila bakla, bubuka ang lupa at lalamunin sila ng buo. Another blogger jumps in with, “the gay-to-gay relationship is such a Western idea,” which I understood as, here gays who love men are expected to assume the role of a woman. At dahil hindi tayo babae, wa talaga! I was almost violent with all I was hearing that the whole table had to remind me, “Migs, World Peace nga di ba?”
All I wanted for Rico to realize is that he deserves to be loved 100% Everybody does! Apparently, what I was not getting was that there are gay guys who are “programmed” like Rico — preferring straight guys even in spite of the fact that they cannot reciprocate the love. How about you dear MGG readers? If you were with us in the discussion table, what would you have said?
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