Podcast: Coming Out, part 2

This is the continuation of the Coming Out podcast with the Troikasters (Troika Podcasters), Gibbs, Mcvie, and yours truly. Tackled in this part are:

>> Migs shares 2 coming out experiences.

>> Reconciling homosexuality and religion.

>> Why would any gay man come out? What could be their motivation?

>> Coming out as the more moral choice.

>> When is coming out pointless?

>> Family pressure, and excuses when they ask “Why are you not married yet?”

>> Coming out as a universal experience among gays.

>> It’s unfair to expect our family to instantaneously accept us as gay.

>> Should all gay men come out?

>> The benefits of coming out.

>> Tips on how to “strategically” come out.

>> Are gays anti-family? Gay men as the best family men.

>> Dealing with straight guys’ reactions to your coming out.

To listen to the podcast…

Download this episode (right click and save)

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16 Responses to “Podcast: Coming Out, part 2”

  1. Baklang AJ Says:

    Religion is indeed one of the major reasons why some gay men find it very difficult to come out.

    First time ko lang narinig to and it made me laugh out loud: “anak, nakikiuso ka lang!” hahahah

  2. jholou Says:

    so many things said…

    anyways,,,hoping the next tym one asked you y u came out,,,just simply utter this i want to be comfortable with my own skin…

    i wanted to believe that we are all highly intelligent to know what is best for ourself…

    embrace diversity(religions points of view,,,homophobic points of view ect.) about who you are but never gave them power over you…

  3. Ace Says:

    Very interesting and insightful conversation, guys. It appears that for most, coming out to family (especially the parents) is the most difficult thing to do. I think culture and religion make it even more so. It is interesting to note though that a lot of Filipino gays often don’t come out to their parents because they don’t want to disappoint or hurt them. It is almost like role reversal. Gay children acting like parents, sparing the parents the pain, hurt and disappointment (which is really looking at oneself negatively because being gay is equated with pain, hurt and disappointment). And I’m sure they all do it because of their love and respect for the parents. But, the rebel in me would like to ask – what about the responsibility of the parents to love their children unconditionally? I think the parents, being older and (hopefully) wiser, also have the responsibility to make sure that their children are happy. The very least that the parents can do is to seek to understand their gay child, which means that they may have to educate themselves about the issue and if they are religious, somehow reconcile their faith with their child’s sexuality. After all, as parents they are expected to be the child’s primary source of support.

  4. anton maton Says:

    podcast? hmmm ano ba yan.. dami yata ng topic! di ko na lang pakikinggan. turn off ako lalo na pag may reli-religion ek ek. basta ako … masaya at magiging kabit na! hehehe! magpapakasal na yung papa ko sa bilat! hahahaha!

  5. onai Says:

    I totally agree this one was really insightful. It made me think a lot of stuff. So before they go slipping down my head let me just say a few. First clap clap for Migs on saying being yourself can only be the key to achieving your best, and to many many many good points from Gibbs like the straight men’s point of view, and I think men has that stigma because gay men are in fact men; so they feel like being preyed upon by the same species, I don’t know its an animal planet metaphor, and lastly for Mcvie - Joel - bow to you wonderful family insights. I should say that on the part of family - like the chocolate cake referrence, maybe its a parents job to know their kids, and in fact they should know first hand, maybe if they’d know better they will know it before you tell them, as long as you don’t hide your true nature, its a family thing, and it should be. And I will always take my point from what I’ve seen from movies and on TV - like in Six Feet Under - the mother says why, why do you always blame it on me if my children screws up (the coming out episode of David), parang they have a defense mechanism to be responsible for who who you are, but its not the case, and in Grey’s - no parent is perfect so yan as good children lets not atke it on our parents all the time and we always come to a mature level with them, and ano pa… as always in the movie Keep The Faith - we should learn to have faith in people, helps us wary the fears of whatever we hide, or hesitations we deal with in our daily struggle to become better people, and lastly a wonderful coming out episode of Ugly Betty - just deal with it, give it to them served cold, be it abrupt or come to terms with it (I’m sure shock is way beyond the worst scenario), the important thing is your own self validation of who your true self you choose yourself to be. Oh well isa pa - yung parlorista as breadwinners, well for some they rely on the given notion that their parents have no choice (parang sa movie ni Chito Rono na Midnight Dancers), we should see beyond that, its more of being honest, just don’t make them look stupid (your family) kasi some just don’t actually come out because they think they already know or the family doesn’t have a choice, your family deserves the truth and so importantly you. And last last last na talaga - a simple rule - don’t say, or tell if you’re not asked, parang I wont tell unless you ask… and if si Migs world peace ako naman - just live out of the box, in this case out of the closet. =)

  6. Misterhubs Says:

    Another intelligent, insightful and entertaining discussion. Kudos to Migs, Joel, and Gibbs.

  7. Phoenix Says:

    Coming out is certainly not a picnic.. I came out twice (long story!), for the second time I used my blog. I simply emailed and sent sms to all the teachers and students that I knew = ) hihihi Let them worry about how to deal with me, not the other way around.

    Gay Wishes..

  8. josh Says:

    if the previous podcast made me laugh non stop, this one………….. make me want to cry inside………..im teary eyed right now…………i think it just fell ………thnx guys, sure wish i were there while you were interacting……..(by d way, me an ex also and had training for 3 yrs….) Please always include Mcvie in ur podcast, he is the one who brings pizzaz to the group…. tnx agen guys…..amen

  9. sapphire Says:

    narinig ko na pareho puro si Mcvie at Gibbs lang ang nagsasalita, host lang si migs at devils advocate. ganda ng combination niyong tatlo tapos dapat may search for new podcast member para kumpleto na ang fab five.

  10. charlz Says:

    i like your discussions and the mix of personalities. keep us posted kung kelan first airing ng radio show nyo.

  11. gibbs Says:

    hi guys, thanks for listening to the podcast and for the encouraging comments. we’re much obliged. :) JOSH, if it would interest you, the full text of my letter is in my blog, www.gibbscadiz.com — cheers!

  12. mcvie Says:

    Si Migs ay ang dakilang hostess, si Gibbs ang pari na laging may handang sermon, at ako ang tagadala ng pizzaz… minsan Shakey’s, minsan Yellow Cab kung may budget, at Greenwich kung nagtitipid.

  13. josh Says:

    mcvie, sarraap nun, gibs tnx i did read it na. but honestly guys, naiyak at pumatak ang luha ko dun sa podcast nyo esp on d parents & belief part (may times naman na siryoso kayo eh…) tnx agen

  14. butch Says:

    this is my first time to ever listen to a podcast and the topic is really interesting all i can say is that gibs gave the best points, mcvie is so funny but should talk a lil less… migs should talk more cause i love your voice…lol seriously i love it. you guys are the perfect trio, should indeed have a radio program better yet on TV!

  15. rey Says:

    I was listening to your podcast and I just want to agree to some of the reasons why it’s hard to come out. It really takes a lot of courage to do it, but I do believe that you owe yourself (at least) to face the fact that your different and there’s nothing wrong with that. Though it is contradictory to different norms and tradition but still it can’t change the fact that LOVE IS ABSOLUTE AND IT KNOWS NO BOUNDARIES… So with this priciple as my armour, I took the big leap of faith and came out in my 24th birthday. WHY? Because I need to accept who I am. HOW? I did it through POWERPOINT PRESENTATION… RESULT? I think I broke there heart… Being an only child/engineer/MT, they really have lots of expectations from me. My dad took it well…(Plastic)but my mom is having a hard time of accepting it. Well, this has been bothering for the last 10 years, it’s about time for them to share the load. They just have to deal with it…

  16. Homie Says:

    “Mother’s milk” talaga..c”,) My mother was the second person I came out to (I tested the water first, kumbaga, with my bestfriend - both were ok about it. My mom, siguro, thought that it was just a phase I was going through throughout the five year interval from when I came initially came but until the night I brought home and introduced to her my first bf.c”,) During the interview I underwent to secure my current job, I told my boss about my partner so that there would be no mistaken “impressions” about me not chasing skirts. Nowadays, I adopt the attitude that when I tell people, I am just informing them of a fact, not asking their permission whether I can be the person who I really am - kiver kung ayaw nila sa akin. c”,)

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