In Zaturnnah ze Muzical, one of the most touching, most poignant moments, was Didi’s dying scene (Didi is Ada/Zaturnnah’s sidekick). His song entitled “Nakikita Ko Na Ang Nakakasilaw Na Liwanag” (my favorite in the musical) goes:
Ada… bakit pati sila ay lumuluha?
Dahil ba â€˜pag pumanaw ako
Ay wala na silang pagtatawanan?
Ni minsan hindi nila ako kinilala
Maliban sa pagiging bayot ko
Sa akin ay wala na silang nalalaman pa
In this song, it shows how a gay guy mourns the fact that people perceive him as just that: bading, bayot, bakla, and nothing more — sad, but it’s as if he accepts it as a matter of fact.
While it is fact too that we cannot control other people’s perception of us, the other side of the coin is, we can perhaps influence their perception. Thus one can clearly differentiate a “bading na patapon” and a “bading na walang itatapon.”
As I examine my life, I credit that “gay-induced” inferiority complex for my drive to succeed in everything I do. It’s as if I sought (and continue to seek) every opportunity to be the best that I can possibly be, just so I can be much more than just gay. Most of it unconscious, but hindsight tells me there is such a cause-and-effect relationship.
Now, does gayness define me? Absolutely not. And I enjoin all of you gays out there, be much more than just gay, and celebrate it! And much as other people box you as just “that gay guy” — it is more due to their blindness rather than our alleged incapacity to be whole, beautiful, valuable, productive, and unique members of society.
Question for comments: as a gay guy, can you say you are whole, beautiful, valuable, productive, and unique member of society? How?
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