To All Married Gay Men

To Gus, to that guy who I slept with last Friday (no, not Gus; and no we didn’t get to sleep), and to all married gay men (including those who plan to get married): this is for you.

Now that the Brokeback Mountain fever has subsided, it may be worth it to slowly chew on some really poignant scenes. This is one of them.

To dear readers — depending on whose emotions you zoom in, you may have different takes on the scene just presented. Tell me, no tell us, what’s yours? All Married Gay Men  digg:To All Married Gay Men  spurl:To All Married Gay Men  newsvine:To All Married Gay Men  furl:To All Married Gay Men  reddit:To All Married Gay Men  fark:To All Married Gay Men  Y!:To All Married Gay Men


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29 Responses to “To All Married Gay Men”

  1. gharyjohn Says:

    i’m currently in a relationship with a married guy. two years and counting. we always have ‘magical’ moments tuwing magkasama kami. we go to mass on fridays, watch movies and lay in bed for hours talking. and probably the best was going on a romantic get-away to camiguin. it was too risky for him to leave his family in manila just to be with me. But he did and we had a great time together in the beautiful island.

    I don’t mind if he’s married… if they say i must leave him and find someone single… if there is no future for both of us…

    Ang mahalaga ay masaya kaming dalawa ngayon. Whatever happens to both of us and our relaitionship in the future, we are not sure of that. Nobody knows what the future holds anyway.

    what matters to me? HE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE INTO MY WORLD

    and i’m happy that “in this world of strangers, i belong to someone”

  2. Hiro Says:

    I think that people who look into dating people who are married AND especially with children have nothing else better to do because they dont have the patience to find people who are single.

    Its difficult to date men in the Pinas in general bc a majority of them, even the ones with bfs cheat and sleep around like hell so what makes some of these guys think that dating or sleeping with someone married makes things better?

    Yes, its true that people have different maturity levels to come out of the closet but for goodness sakes people, stay away from the married with children! I mean if your closeted or bi its even worse because you cant be living a double life forever. I feel sorry for his wife and his kids who have to go through all that lying day in and day out. I wouldnt be able to trust someone like that, let alone get into a relationship with someone who STILL has kids and a wife at home. Who s to say someone like that doesnt have multiple partners who are of the same sex? Its not unheard of esp. in the Pinas. Its just too much. And for anyone who says its worth it, its really shameful because gay or straight, u shouldnt be involved with someone already involved in the first place. Sleeping around is one thing but with someone who s closeted and married is so dangerous because alot of men like that DO sleep around. I would hate to think what kind of relationship people expect to have years down the road when that person finally realizes that they dont wanna choose and they get so comfortable that they selfishly want to continue lying to his children and wife even more. Sorry if this seems so negative but its the truth. Ive seen both sides of that happen in and outside of my family and when it happens, everyone is hurting.

  3. Dan Gabriel Says:

    I don’t mean to judge people who are living out this scene, but I may come across as just that by saying this: this scene screams of betrayal. The character played by Michelle Williams deserve to know the truth. I mean, whatever gender one may be, betrayal is betrayal, white lies are white lies, and hurt is hurt. There is just no getting around it.

  4. webster Says:

    for those who are in a relationship with married gaymen:
    Happiness should not be just skin deep.

    And for married gaymen who agree to that kind of relationship:

    It should be black or white no gray area. Choose wisely which side, be happy and be ok with it. If you’re not sure, still choose. You cannot have both.

  5. Hiro Says:

    Moral of the story is dont get involved with taken and or especially married people with kids. Anyone who is married and has this hidden life is selfish and not really one to entertain ideas of being caring because if they were they would be more honest with themselves with what they want. Ay naku buhay na ito Haha

  6. James Says:

    i agree with the concept of betrayal and staying away from married guys.

    here’s the tricky part, sometimes, emotions are much stronger, these points won’t even enter your mind when you fall in love, especially with a married guy.

    for me (while im still sane!) i’d rather see myself grow old alone than see myself as a homewrecker. Just think about the kids, kahit di na yung wife. Joke lang! :-)

    but this may change, hindi natin masasabi kasi minsan, ang lalaki di aamin na may asawa na or committed..

    *tsk tsk

  7. Misterhubs Says:

    I feel like singing “Saving All My Love For You” tuloy:

    A few stolen moments is all that we share
    You have your family and they need you there
    So I try to resist, being last on your list
    But no other man will do.
    So I’m saving all my love for you.

  8. Hiro Says:

    Its called finding a monogamous relationship people Lol We dont need to go and hunt down already taken people. Seriously, love or not, we should all respect ourselves more. Sigh.

  9. mhadz Says:

    i loved the movie so much that i cant stop love being gay. there are many possibilities that gay men should expect in a guy to guy thing but most of them are not given that much precious recognition. i dont know why but all i could think is that some gay men who are in a relationship dont really care much of genuine love. what’s genuine ba? i cant tell really what is genuine as a universal thingy but for me, it is far beyond the physical and sexual affection or satisfaction. im sorry if im being too idealistic but that’s what we should think of, considering the reality of gay relationships, na tinitingnan ang ganitong relationship na hindi kaaya aya ng maraming tao dahil unang una nakikita nila ang kalaswaan, which is i believe super opposite. we should make them feel and see that gay relationships are similar to other kinds in terms of the passion, faith, fidelity, etc. that’s what we should be doing. but i cant blame naman everyone of us because first of all, humans are given free will. but, we should also ponder on things like this. bakit kaya hanggang ngayon, karamihan pa rin sa guy 2 guy rel ay hindi lantad. dahil takot tayong harapin ang realidad, na tayo rin ang gumagawa.
    yun lang…

  10. david Says:

    love and attraction just happens! i don’t think we necessarily CAN or HAVE TO choose with whom. there are no rules in this game.

  11. my yellow shirt rumpled Says:

    just by the tagline on the email. I knew this was going to be heavy. Didn’t know you’d be posting Eanis and Jack.


    Can we get away?

    Love won’t let us go.

  12. Little Fish Says:

    Ayoko na!
    Tama na!
    Kabaliwang ito!
    What’s LOVE got to do with it?
    My sincere APOLOGIES….
    to the wife…to the kids…to his entire family.
    to myself too.
    I’ve learned my mistakes.
    Thank You.

  13. rommel Says:

    I was depressed for two weeks after watching this film

  14. josh Says:

    reminds me of paru-parong rosas, both (broke back) ended up in tradegy. I really felt sorry for d wives…u can’t really get all the luck, can’t u???

  15. egoslave Says:

    naalala ko ang ginawa kong part ng “theatre” before, nang mahuli ni mrs si mr kasama ang kanyang bf, kumanta si mrs. habang umiiyak, “how could you give your love to someone else & share your dreams with me?”, sagot ni mr. na umiiyak din, sabay turo sa bukol ng bf niya na nakahubad, “sometimes the very thing you’re looking for, is the one thing you can’t see…”, i can still remember naghiyawan ang audience…at nabigyan ako ng award.

  16. Cordy Says:

    i have this friend may relationship sila ng kumpare nya, both of them are married. one has a kid and the other one is on his way to being a father.

    d ko lang alam kung mag last yung relationship nila, what do you think?

  17. blueharajuku Says:

    ahaha the best part of the movie…

  18. jhepy Says:

    sabi nila best thing is love your self first para alam mo i share yun ….

    sometimes we stik to that we love our self “more” tahts why we beacame selfish…

    i guess better when we want to be happy we also take consideration the people around us …. para complte yung happiness taht we feel god bless:D

  19. jholou Says:

    movies are made to make us understand and realized things…

    its happiness at the expense of others…

  20. dyan Says:

    bakit kaya karamihan nang mga Pinoy men ay mga cheaters (bakla man o hindi)and then they all go to church every sunday. i don’t understand our culture. i think there is still such thing as wrong and right, obviously a lot of people either don’t care or don’t know anymore.

  21. bedrock Says:

    well im gay but mature enough to know what i want in a relationship. i don’t want also to happen being betrayed by my partner. we all want to have smooth and happy relationship then choose what is good for you and your partner.

  22. hustlingmind Says:

    In a perfect world, the husband should be man enough to honor his wife with truth every step of the way. It doesn’t mean that he never stumbles, but when he does, He must accept the responsibility for his actions. But we don’t live in a perfect world and neither one of us is perfect. No rules. Life is a risk.

  23. hustlingmind Says:


    I guess going to the church has nothing to do with being cheaters. I am human. who am I to deprive myself of the worldly needs.

  24. londoner Says:

    We are all humans and therefore we are not contented to anything that we have. That includes love, sex, money etc. The only thing is that there’s always HIM that we can count on so keep in touch and i’m sure everything will be alright.God Bless.

  25. dyan Says:


    i don’t like to talk about religion but i guess i have to. what i meant was that it is hypocritical for people to celebrate mass in church and continue and habitually cheat knowing full well that it is a sin (7th commandment – adultery). an important part of mass is celebrating the eucharist and receiving communion. catholics are required to go to confession, do penance and promise to sin no more in order to receive communion.there is not much point in going to church if people knowingly commit the same sin over and over again.

  26. astroboi Says:

    i had a short lived rendevous with a married guy- he’s in showbiz with a wife who works abroad and 2 kids. for a moment i thought i was the pinakamagandang babae sa balat ng lupa… until my conscience ate me up. it started when we picked his kid up from pre-school, i was driving- his left hand was holding mine, while his right was hugging the daughter. at 1st instance i thought that was one of the ‘magical moments’ we share but it was actually the exact opposite. i was guilt-ridden the whole night. we ended it eventually and remain good friends until now.

  27. jomz15 Says:

    to the lovers - make sure no body will know bout yer relationship… just don’t get caught… that’s all what matters.

  28. flash Says:

    this scene in brokeback really tore my heart. though im not married or anything but, i just don’t like the feeling of being betrayed (who would… anyway?) that’s why i always stick with the right thing to do: stick with someone who’s not committed.

    Karma strikes back, we all should know that. One time or another… Preparing isn’t a good solution, just keep out of it. For me, married guy dating another guy is really bullshit. Sorry for the term but you are forgetting something. The sanctuary of marriage.

    And to those who enjoy being with a married guy, please think of a family you will eventually destroy.

    Darn… I feel so sad for Emma.

    But then again… Kasalanan bang titi ang hanap ni Ennis??? So like Mga paru-parong rosas.

  29. meow-yaw Says:

    ….it’s all about S-E-X,…what else could it be? It’s not even a relationship, it’s an adventure. You can’t get married, can’t be seen together,…then just enjoy the SEX!! Everything else after that is nothing! These things are not even planned, they just happen. So Please, don’t condemn,..pray it doesn’t happen to you. and when it does,…charge to experience na lang. Peace!

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