When Did You Know You’re Gay?

McVie writes, answering the oft-repeated question — “So when did you know you are gay?”

Growing up I sensed I was different because, even during grade school, I enjoyed looking at the muscular figures of Superman and Batman—the more realistic and muscular the drawing, the longer I looked. I especially liked how they wore their underwear on the outside and wished they were skimpier… During grade school I joined the theater club, and … found myself stealing glances at all the cute guys with big bodies when they were changing into or out of their costumes. While waiting for my parents to pick me up after school, I would research about “homosexuality” in the library. All the books said that everyone goes through a homosexual stage. By high school I had my first serious crush. By college I had my second and longest-running crush. By fourth year I told myself, “This is going on much too long to just be a ‘stage’ so maybe I’m gay.”

* * *

How about you — when did you know you’re gay? (Or, maybe till now you’re still confused? Hehehe!)

del.icio.us:When Did You Know You're Gay?  digg:When Did You Know You're Gay?  spurl:When Did You Know You're Gay?  newsvine:When Did You Know You're Gay?  furl:When Did You Know You're Gay?  reddit:When Did You Know You're Gay?  fark:When Did You Know You're Gay?  Y!:When Did You Know You're Gay?


Possibly Related Entries:

33 Responses to “When Did You Know You’re Gay?”

  1. jholou Says:

    at the age of four or five…

  2. mcvie Says:

    Growing up I sensed I was different because, even during grade school, I enjoyed looking at the muscular figures of Superman and Batman… AY TEKA! ENTRY KO NGA PALA YUN!

  3. andrew Says:

    All the while I thought I was just a bit ‘different’ from the other guys around, even if I was perpetually being teased and tagged a homo. I never entertained the fact that I was really a fag. I even had girl crushes when I was a kid all the way up until college.

    Not until the age of 18 did I get to fully realize, and accept, that I was gay, because by then I already had my first — lousy, nonsense, and good-for-nothing — boyfriend or partner. And then it’s history from that point on.

    Haba noh? Hihihi!

  4. josh Says:

    confused as ever, but now that i have passed the marrying age, i at terms that marrying a girl might not be for me (though im not closing my options here). panahon pa nila gabby, albert & william, (elementary days) it seems that i am more focused on them than snooky, maricel & dina (not to mention the late alfie anido.. who is really cutey) Somehow (b4) i am frustrated at these guys, thinking why dont i have their physcial attributes… :(

  5. daemoneyes Says:

    guess eversince in grade school…

    i never hanged around with the guy-guys…

    typically nerdy, geeky, loner type…

    chose to spend time sa library…

    they just noticed that i was different and tagged me as a fag…

    denied it all through hs… but during that stage… i was so attracted to guys…

    college… i put off my sexuality and focused on studies…

    right after college… i resumed my attention to my sexuality… and finally after 10 years… im proud to say…

    that im gay… =)

  6. metlogs Says:

    now p lng, wahhhhhhhhhh

  7. pirena Says:

    well i think during elementary days…i’m more at ease with my female cousins,i’m more close to them plus the fact that we share the same toys….barbie!!! ha ha ha….

  8. Ang-ang Says:

    When I was a child my cousing abused my sexualy he keeps f***ing my mouth then when I grew up I realized that it’s not normal and I am gay!

  9. Gerry Says:

    speak tagalog..i think it will make it easier for u ..and us readers =)

  10. cebu_gwapa Says:

    “ever since i was a little girl…”

    note: don’t copy this ha! original ko to…. please lang….

  11. mauipacquiao Says:

    when i had my first mens– nagkatagos ako noon. hehehe

  12. Nadriamez Says:

    Everyone in the family knows I am different. I even turned into an homophobic when I was 4 or 5 and said to myself that I will never be gay. Then, my titas took take care of me. Of course, all girlitas sila and their only toys in the house were Barbie dolls and Shirley Temple paper dolls. Strangely, my dad bought me some GI Joe and Batman action figures.

    Some of the guys here were right, there is something with their underwear and skimpy attires!

    Elemantary- i was in denial, had a few puppy love with girls

    Then HS and college came - I explored.

    I don’t want to elaborate more - I just found out I’m gay 5 years ago. It was heaven, it was sweet. Very liberating.

  13. kurara_chibana Says:

    i first realized that i was effeminate when i was 6 but in terms of being gay (i.e. having a distinct fondness for boys), that was when i was in grade 5 in ateneo. i was 12 or 13 then.

    it was at this time that i had my longest-running crush on a batchmate of mine named gino and that went on for a good 7 years. i finally gave up on him during my high school graduation since i realized that he wasn’t worth my time and adoration. i was about to start a brand new life as a college student in UP diliman and he just didn’t seem to be the center of my world anymore. i knew i needed to prioritize myself over some guy who didn’t even know i existed.

    oh, and just like mcvie, i also researched about homosexuality in my school’s library and found the same thing. :)

  14. ian Says:

    when i was still a child, my cousins and uncles used to tag me as a fag. my mother always came to my defense, but still inside of me i know, they might be right. after all, when i started pre-school, i did not mingle with the boys. i was more at ease with the girls. and i felt that i liked looking at my boy classmates.

    come elementary years, the attraction to my boy classmates became stronger. i didn’t even have a crush on a girl and when people asked me and wouldn’t take no for an answer, i would give the name of the girl who usually is closest to me.

    in highschool, i was really attracted to my guy friends. there was even this one friend who i cannot turn down whenever he requests for something coz i like him so much.

    but when i was in 4th year high, i thought i finally defeated the gay urge in me because i felt that i was in love with my girl best friend. i courted her but i eventually stopped because i realized that i was really attracted still to my guy friends (especially to the guy i mentioned i can’t turn down).

    the worst and best part was when i was in 1st year college, because it was the time that i felt the biggest struggle of accepting the fact that i’m gay and that the church says it is a sin; but it was also the time that i really felt that i was in love, and not merely attracted, to a guy friend. unfortunately, this love remained unrequited.

    sensya na po, mahaba…

  15. antonsg Says:

    i realized that i was gay when i was in grade 5. fantasized over the cute guys in the class. unfortunately, born and bred catholic so i denied it and tried to be straight. it didn’t work though. but the self-denial stage was a long one. i eventually accepted the truth when i was 24. i know! ang tagal. when i came out to my mom and told her that i grew tired of praying all my life to be normal, she lovingly asked, ‘all you life? so kahit nung batang-bata ka pa?’ sa isip ko, langya to! coming out moment ko tapos pipilosopohin ako!

  16. ghel Says:

    4 or 5.

    Wala bang sasagot na nadetermine nila na gay sila by around 25???

    Kwwento kayo.. hehhe

  17. inday_garalgal Says:

    when i was 3 or 4 mos old (take note sa TIYAN ng INA KO!) naramdaman ko isa na akong vakla kahit anong gawin kong pilipit sa pototoy ko at gawing kefay wa efek kaya etoh garalgal na mababa pa sa alto ang naging boses ko! saranghameda migs! :)

  18. eric Says:

    same as the other guys here, early on i already knew that i want to suck cock!!!!
    my teacher in elementary would call me names and i would go home crying(even up to now napapaiyak parin ako pag naaalala ko un).I had my first sexual encounter when i went to gigolo in timog!!! yes i paid for my first hada!!! but in fernez hunk ang nahada ko!!! namulubi ngalang ako dun sa sobrang laki ng binayad ko.kaloka!!!

  19. argo Says:

    since nursery… my friends are all girls,and i hate my boy clasm8s bcoz 4 me they are so mgulo & mkukulit, but now…its vise versa,bcoz I lov boys now! hahaha!

  20. harajuku Says:

    i was really into dolls when i was in grade school, but ive had girl crushes before, even one became a real good friend of mine until now. pero basagulero ako ha nung bata pa ako.. =)
    i experienced my 1st male crush in high school, i was in 1st year and he was in 3rd. But I didnt entertain the thing about being a homo, because I thought before that being gay was just being a refined boy, di pala. its all about loving another guy hehehe.. i was in the confusion state from 2nd year HS to 2nd year college, and Ive had gfs during that time. And 3rd year I accpeted myself that I am, yes mga ate, A VERY SEXY GAY!! DARNA!!!! lol

  21. chriscapade Says:

    bata pa ko ramdam ko that Im gay talaga. Lumaki ako sa lola ko with my girl cousins kasi pare-parehong nasa ibang bansa ang mga parents namin. Super strict ang lola ko kaya di kami makalabas magpipinsan sa mansion nya. ahehehe… (laki kasi ng haus parang haunted haus) Nadamay lang ako sa pagiging strict nya sa mga older girl cousins ko kaya wala kaming choice kundi kami kami lang ang playmates lagi. Siguro dun na rin nadevelop. Pagtunton ko ng elementary, nakaramdam n rin ako ng crushes towards boys. Mas tumindi pagdating ng high school pero nilabanan ko na this time kasi lagi na lang ako napapahiya, binu-bully at kung ano ano pa. College, nanligaw ako ng babae, naging kami ng halos 2 years. natapos lang nung may nangyari sa amin ng kabarkada kong guy, he ask me to leave the girl or else, sasabihin nya sa lahat. Kaya ayon.. ganun.

  22. neonego Says:

    4 yrs young palang alam ko na. kasi i suck na eh. (thumb sucking).

  23. haller Says:

    regarding the realization of one’s homosexuality, search for the Troiden’s four stages of homosexual identity development. To those interested, search niyo na lang.

  24. zidro Says:

    At 27, after asking someone for a kiss, I realized I like men. He became my first kiss, first love and my first heavy heartache.

  25. forpaulo Says:

    LOLZ for harajuku’s and antonsg’s entry!! that made me laugh!! i felt for ian’s and curious about the rest of chriscapade’s story..

    anyways for me, medyo vulgar…

    maybe i was in 2nd grade then. i felt good about playing our then “boy’s” nips. i would always hug him from behind and then feel his nips. the most embarassing moment was, can’t remember what age i was, when my youger bro noticed that my manhood made a standing ovation when this tv ad went on air.. it was a tv ad w/ shirtless guys on it!! and take note, oblivious ako na ganon na pala reaction ko not ’til he blundered it, not just to me but to my mom as well!!! haha!

  26. jazzie Says:

    since birth!!! wahahah!!1

  27. randy Says:

    i was teased and name called by my brothers as fag as early as 5 due to my refined actions but i never entertained the thought because i played both with guns and dolls and enjoy both companies- boys and girls alike. started feeling indifferent because i get attracted to boys during high school and still in denial up to college. when i started working, i was still in control not until i had my first kiss and first encounter with my male colleague at the age of 21. right there and then i accepted the fact that indeed i am gay . i am nearly 30 but still in the closet…sad but it’s true.

  28. noel Says:

    when I was a kid, I remember being always the center of attention, it might have been fun being always talked about, but its the other way around, because they make fun of me. my mom, her friends, my cousins, my classmates, its because of the way i act, and yet i never admitted to being gay. Up to now I cant take out the feeling that people look down on me, God must have been good because he changed me, I look and act perfectly normal now, Im smart, I have a job, and if i liked a girl, more often thsn not, ill get her favor.. I think its also Gods way of humbling me, for those experiences Ive learned to turn to God, knowing he’s all I have. I knew I was gay wehn i started falling in love kinder

  29. leo Says:

    I guess every gay guy feels it already during the early childhood. I did, but with the constant warnings from he people around most gays tend to deny it and try to be straight. About 4 or 5, I knew I was already DIFFERENT, I hated contact sports, that’s why I never learned to play basketball. I’d rather play with my female cousins than the male ones. I was also a mama’s boy, I liked watching her cook, sew, and do things around the house. I also tried to learn these things, I could do light cooking at an early age, I’d look in my mom’s ‘retaso’ and find some cloth that could be made into dresses for my cousin’s Barbie…
    (to be continued in queer-as-can-be.blogspot.com), advertise ko lang po blog ko.

  30. Jezebel Says:

    When I was about three or four years old, may hasang at kaliskis na ako.

  31. eric Says:

    first year high school, i started to like men then indeed realise im gay.accept ko na na ganito ako, wala na akong magagawa,pero sa family ko or even friends di ko kayang sabihin sa kanila.until now kahit 30 na ako at working sa ibang bansa,tinatago ko pa rin sexuality ko.di ko alam hangang kailan ko itatago sarili ko.tulong

  32. igy Says:

    i guess i’ve always known i’m gay…
    it’s just you know- when society always tells you that men and women should be together,
    or you see your relatives with a girlfriend or even wife- they become a role model, which is why it’s so difficult to come out..

  33. jessz Says:

    join na nga me…hindi ko naman talaga napansin na gay pala me…i felt it na lng nung minsang nasa Ultra Pasig me to watch PBA, gitgitan and daming boys sumisiksik…lam niyo yon, yung tipong DAMAHIN MO ANG BULGE NILA….

    PERO pag ordinary days naman, macho naman po ako… so i’m confused yet about my real personality….hirap!!!

Leave a Reply

WordPress Lightbox JS by Zeo