(Continued from The Boracay Eyeball 3)
We were laughing like old friends. I was actually enjoying his company, really enjoying. After dinner, over beer and peanuts, he suddenly fell silent. I was about to ask him what the matter was when, in a very soap opera-ish way, he looked at me straight in the eye, then popped the question: ‘Migs, do you love me?’
Straight in the eye. Acquaintances sometimes get frightened when I, even during first meetings, look them straight in the eye when we talk. I guess it’s an unconscious way of saying, “hey I’m an authentic person, I’m sincere.” This time, this very moment with Dan, I was not my usual self — I couldn’t keep my eyes on him. I looked at my sweaty beer bottle, then the sandy concrete floor, back at him but only for a moment, then somewhere else again. He threw me off balance, I did not know how to react. He was sensitive enough to feel I was uncomfortable with the question. “Ambilis ko ba?” he followed up with a shy smile.
I can’t remember how I maneuvered my way out of the topic, but the conversation took a turn somehow, and we found ourselves just talking, laughing, about other things. Dan was gracious enough to give me my space. That night we retired to our room like old friends. In bed though, he was back to his malambing mode, and yes, we again enjoyed a long night of sizzling, steamy sex.
Youth is typically characterized by being bold and brazen, yet during this first among my EBs I was not as typical. I knew I so wanted to be with Dan, but I did let it pass without commitments. I was afraid to risk my heart, and was fearful of a long-distance relationship. He’s from Boracay, and I am, well, the Manila Gay Guy.
After a couple of days in Boracay, I left for Manila. Dan saw me off, and made me bring some meat products from Kalibo as my pasalubong back home. He wore a white long sleeved polo when he brought me to the airport, pretty formal, I chided him. He had an embarassed smile as a response, and I can see in his deep-set eyes a certain something I could not place. By this time I have psyched myself not to even try to read him, and guarded my decision not to get into a long-distance relationship like it was dear life. Just before I went inside the airport to check in I found out what was that certain something in Dan’s look. He asked for my address in Manila. At first I hesitated but before I could think, I tore out a piece of paper from somewhere, scribbled my address, and handed it to him.
Possibly Related Entries:
- The Boracay Eyeball (2)
- The Boracay Eyeball
- Saved by the Credit Card!
- The Boracay Eyeball (3)
- M2M Pinoypride Eyeball Party
- Happy Anniversary MGG!
- “Am I gay?” - the conclusion
- Watching Insiang This Weekend