We Need Gay Friends


Pagudpud is almost at the northernmost tip of the Luzon island. Driving up there from Manila was an ordeal, but since I had 5 other friends with me – it was a blast! More than the usual enjoyment – stories, chikahan, okrayan, and endless laugh trip — one thing I realized during the trip was the critical importance of friendship among gay men.

A friend once told me that among minority groups (e.g., African-Americans, lesbians and gays, etc.), it’s us gays who have a much harder time. For example, when African-Americans suffered racial discrimination in the US, they had their family to help them go through the difficulties – and their family, being African-American themselves, understood how it is to be one, and thus was able to provide the support they needed. Gays, on the other hand, are usually born in families of straight people. Gay children suffer discrimination alone and scared. Why? Because the people closest to them, their family, while loving and all that, are normally straight folks who have little to no understanding of how it is to be gay. Only later on in life would the gay child find the comforting company of people like himself, and by that time he has gone through numerous moments of difficult, sometimes traumatic, experiences – just because he is gay. I remember, when I opened up my circle of trust and allowed people who have gone through similar confusion as myself, I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. From then on I knew that while I will always encounter challenges and problems, I will always have my friends who will listen to and understand me, without prejudice nor judgment.

Cheers to friendship! May all of us be in the company of loving gay friends!

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26 Responses to “We Need Gay Friends”

  1. jack Says:

    wow!!!! its one of the best article i’ve ever read….

  2. Nicolo Says:

    Oh my god galing din kami ng pagudpud MIGS (close!). We left Manila April 2 early morning. We went to Blue Lagoon nothing spectacular, malinaw lang yung water yun lang, dusa sa layo nakakapaGUD talaga. Tipong pag-uwi nyong magkakaibigan magkaka-away na kayo hahaha.

  3. gay blogger in the closet Says:

    this post reminds me that i really should set up another blog so that i can share my own experiences anonymously. thanks, migs!

  4. rabbit Says:

    amen to that!

  5. KittyQT Says:

    Ay naku MIGS, di ba souvenir photos are taken with you and the place as a background.
    When will we see the real MIGS captured in photo?!?

  6. riffraff2000 Says:

    Your post reminded me of how much fun it was hanging out with friends, getting slap happy and just being silly over the weekend in Palm Springs for the White Party.

  7. Ace Says:

    How very true, especially because support systems for many needs and causes are still limited in the Philippines (just my observations, please correct me if I’m wrong - actually, I hope I’m wrong) for those in need or disenfranchised. In North America, there are all kinds of networks, support groups and organizations, both private (charities and volunteers) and public (government), for those who need them. These support systems are there for those who need support, council, advice and referral or simply to lend an ear. Individuals can vent their anger or frustrations, or get hope and encouragement either anonymously or participate in a more interactive group setting. Hopefully, some of these services, in not too distant future, will also be available for the individuals suffering alone and in silence in the country.

  8. mcvie Says:

    So bakit hindi ako invited sa Pagudpud? Humph! :-(

  9. jholou Says:

    awkie…puede ba gawa tayo ng group yung mga andito sa mgg???

    masarap at masaya ata if we can meet like once a month and go bonding and all…

  10. josh Says:

    thats a gud suggestion jholou (related 2 jhumong?). Pero im not out kaya secret society ba 2 (like an underground group, hehehe)

  11. jholou Says:

    josh tse (jhumong ka dyan) hihihihihih

    at ndi eto secret kasi as of the moment ang nakabasa na ata e 700…ahahhahahahah

  12. josh Says:

    magmaskara na lang ako when the grand meeting happens :) hi jholou, san nakaya si andrew?

  13. noel Says:

    How true… sometimes my bi friends becomes my outlet of frustration/depression. I dont know how i can live my life without them.

  14. inday_garalgal Says:

    Migs u been good sharing ur brave thoughts in this blog but i am just wondering when wud u be brave enuf to show some pictures of yours… baka naman kc nakakasalubong na kita sa mall makapag bigay pugay man lang aketch! :)

  15. empress maruja Says:

    Apir tita!

  16. anton maton Says:

    ay akala ko naman may pictures from pagudpud … kadramahan na naman pala! kakambal talaga ng drama ang mga badingding!

  17. Migs Says:

    when will I be brave enough to show my pictures? hmmm. is that really necessary? shy ako eh. hehehe. ipagtanong ninyo na lang how i look like. apparently some readers here have seen me gallivanting around.

  18. harajuku Says:

    ever since i watched few episodes of queer as folk back in United States, I knew Ive got to have a circle of gay friends. It seems to be fun.. Kase Im out to my friends but not to my family..

  19. jholou Says:

    hello josh…

    so ano kailan ba unang pagbobonding natin mga guys???

  20. davidarc Says:

    One of my frustration is not to have other friends like me. Its always me and my bf. It would have been better kung meron din akong kausap who can understand my situation.

  21. jholou Says:

    davidarc homosexuals are friendly in nature…use that…

  22. fernie Says:

    i LOVE this entry!

    this made me realize that having gay friends is important.. haven’t really had the chance to meet new gay friends since highschool…

  23. renzo Says:

    jholou, i disagree. some gaymen even hate and badmouth other gays.

    anyway, it’s such a comfort to be with other gay men who have the same level of thinking as you do… i know many PLUs but i only have a handful whom i call friends — true friends who helped liberate me and who are friends in the true sense of the word.

  24. Q Says:

    I just completed 4 seasons of Queer As Folk, so pinag-iisipan ko talaga yung concept of gay friendship. From my experience, there are just some things unique to gay men that is hard for straight men and women to relate with. Take for example my male barkada, I can’t talk about my gay experiences with them unless I remove all taints of M2M sex on them, since mandidiri sila (hehehehe, although I do it anyway just to annoy them.) My female friends on the other hand, I can tell my stories to, especially since they are yaoi fans, however, they cannot (being female) experience M2M sex or anything related to it themselves, so there are still some things that may not comprehend (the stress of coming out; the need to cruise and get laid; etc etc). I agree with renzo that it would be really liberating and comforting to have gay friends who know what you have experienced and can give advice on how to deal with it.

    Sa idea ni jholou, hahaha. “The Grand MGG EB” To come… :)) If ever this happens, makikita ba natin si migs in person or mamaya, he’s gonna go in a mask hahaha. Friends tayo Migs :D World peace guys. :D

  25. antonella Says:

    am jst content to read all ur blogs guys…ang saya, all i can say s…”AMEN” to all ur opinions may point ang bawat isa and kailangan talagang may kaibigan ka (NO MAN IS AN ISLAND) maging straight man cya o hindi….gay-straight friendship can happen and really exist…speaking fr my own experience…i got a lot of straight friends, male and female & i can feel their sincerity, respect and warmness as friends..walang halong kalokohan lol.
    Sana magkita tayo Migs dito sa US kaya lang nasa Sanfo ka nandito naman ako sa east coast…New Jersey to be exact….tu2loy ka ba dito sa East Coast? U have my e-mail add maybe i can meet w/u when u will be here.

  26. marman04041975 Says:

    so, migs, did u enjoy Pagudpud? What does the place offer?

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