Four Things I Cannot Decide For You

I was talking on the phone with an elderly (mid-40s) gay guy last night. Two girl friends were just too excited for me to have another “long term relationship” so they paired me up with this “tall, subtle, good looking, and very intelligent” friend of theirs (description theirs). It was a breath of fresh air, really. It’s so wonderful to talk to such learned man, so experienced, and so full of wisdom. While on the phone, I was like a young boy eager to learn, listening and sitting at his master’s feet.

Of the many things we talked about one vignette that struck me was a conversation he had with his late Dad. Apparently, in his informing his Dad about his decision to switch careers (from the medical field to designing clothes), his dad said:

Son, there are four things I cannot decide for you, even if I wanted to. First, your political affiliation. You decide the political principles you believe in, and your idea of how society should be organized. Second, your religious convictions. I raised you up as a Catholic but if you ever so decide to be something else — a Moslem, a Protestant, whatever — then you should follow your conscience, not me. Third, your career. Your career is the one that will make you get of bed excited as you wake up, and get you going day in, and day out. It will be such a waste of life if you choose to make a career out of other people’s fancies. Lastly, your choice of life partner. You will be the one to love and live with that person, so it is really your decision to make. May it be a girl or a guy, son, you will decide for yourself. There is just one thing I want you to promise me, son: that whatever your decision may be, that you will be happy.

With that, a sliver of tear quietly slid down my cheek. Awwww. Things I Cannot Decide For You  digg:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  spurl:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  newsvine:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  furl:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  reddit:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  fark:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You  Y!:Four Things I Cannot Decide For You


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16 Responses to “Four Things I Cannot Decide For You”

  1. Dan Gabriel Says:

    That’s one (or four) of the best things a father could ever say.

  2. from1fagtoanother Says:

    Hi Manilagayguy,

    It would really be nice if you can have more articles published in a day. I regularly check your site and sigh, walang bagong laman. hehe Careerin na! I really enjoy your site and I’m sure you can get paying advertisers like Bryanboy if you just had more updates.

  3. webster Says:

    I’m an avid reader of this blog but this is my first time to post a comment.

    That person was really lucky to have such a Father. My dad passed away when I was 21. We never had that kind of conversation not even once, Nothing that I could remember but I wish we had.

  4. nell Says:

    Aaaawww! I wish I also had the chance to have that father-son conversation, to which, next to impossible. I was never that close to him (my erpat). Until he already passed away, closed to 3 years ago. Sigh!!

  5. Migs Says:

    @ webster - thanks for commenting in! Welcome to the MGG community!

  6. josh Says:

    if ever i be a dad, hehehe, i wish i could say exactly d same 4 thing to him/her ;-)

  7. blueharajuku Says:

    i wish my dad was like that…

  8. johnny Says:

    SOBRA KA NAMAN, at past 40’s, ay elderly???
    i thought you have to be past 62 to be called senior citizen??? YOU’LL GET THERE TOO KAYA SOON….

  9. James Says:

    my dad did say those words to me thru ACTIONS

    he never complained, he just instilled on me to be respectable in this harsh world of ours. mom did the same.

    feels good to be free

    di sila as expressive nung dad ng guy na itu pero winner na rin :-)

    of all the articles posted here, this will definitely be my number 1 post read here at MGG.

    again, kudos to u migs! :-)


  10. ian Says:

    thanks migs for posting this. i do hope my parents would eventually be able to tell me these things. :)

  11. ian Says:

    thanks migs for posting this. these are such inspiring words. i do hope my parents would eventually be able to tell me these things. :)

  12. red_hot Says:

    that made my day….:)

  13. tnoi Says:

    i would say that to my father…

  14. wrestler Says:


  15. francis Says:

    good daddy

  16. randy Says:

    aww….so sweet…. he he!

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